Today has been a really stressful day for me and I thought this was appropriate:lol:

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
2. Well, aren't we just a ray of f**king sunshine?
3. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
4. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
5. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a f**king people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's H*ll with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
9. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
10. You! Off my planet!
11. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
12. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
13. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
14. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
15. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
16. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
17. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
18. And your crybaby whiny-as*ed opinion would be...?