trm6

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Fun Things to do on a Paper You Don't Care About (part 3)

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  1. Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it's only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.
  2. Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.
  3. Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.
  4. Write about whether Plato would have said that Miller Light is "less filling" or that it "tastes great." Also explain why Aristotle would have taken the opposite view. Try to predict both philosphers' reactions to Spuds McKensie.
  5. Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.
  6. Make your paper one long, neverending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use alot of semicolons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks [(for example), an interesting one: the colon_], but never ever end the sentence {[_-\|/??!]}.
  7. Staple a picture of an academic building to the paper. Cite the picture as a resource.
  8. On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.
  9. Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of the saddlebags, then shoot the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.
  10. Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.
  11. Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky."
  12. Pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w's whenevew you weawwy want to type r's ow l's.
  13. Ol, switch alound arr the l's and r's in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.
  14. When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.
  15. Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action."
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