Funny Things for Professors To Do (part 2)

by trm6 on May 8, 2008 Comments

1. Growl constantly and address students as "matey".
2. Announce that last year's students have almost finished their class
   projects.
3. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you "Snuggles".
4. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular
   intervals.
5. Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
6. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute "commercial breaks" every ten
   minutes.
7. Pass out dental floss to students and devote the lecture to oral hygiene.
8. Ask students to list their favorite showtunes on a signup sheet.
   Criticize their choices and make notes in your grade book.
9. Sneeze on students in the front row and wipe your nose on your tie.
10. Show up to lecture in a ventilated clean suit. Advise students to keep
    their distance for their own safety and mutter something about "that bug I
    picked up in the field".
11. Jog into cl*ss rip the textbook in half, and scream,
    "Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CAN'T HEEEEEEAR YOU!"
12. After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the cl*ss for
    attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday
    was the last day to drop.
13. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11
    number system. Use a complicated symbol you've named after yourself in
    place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who don't use it.
14. Use a graduate student to bang cymbals every time your name is mentioned.