General Driving Rules (part 2)

by trm6 on October 30, 2007 Comments

1. Swerve into the opposite lanes to avoid hitting roadside obstacles... like Styrofoam cups and Twinkie wrappers.
2. When waiting in line at a drive-through bank, wait until you are at the window before filling out the forms.
3. Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
4. Never use your ashtray. Flick cigarettes out the window when you are done with them.
5. Throw soda cans and food wrappers out the window when driving on highways.
6. Your car stereo should be blasting music at approximately 900,000 dB.
7. If you get lost while driving, the best place to stop and get your bearings is at a green light.
8. If for some reason you had to pull over on the shoulder, wait until a car is approaching to pull back onto the road.
9. Save time, read your newspaper and have breakfast while driving to work.
10. When at a gas station, don't pull up to the first available pump. This way people will have to wait until you are done before they get serviced. You should also pay with a credit card.
11. If you approach a bicyclist on the same side of the road, pass him by leaving only a half inch between him and your side-view mirror.
12. Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.
13. Adjust your car seat so that the drivers behind you only see the top of your head and a pair of knuckles on the steering wheel.
14. If you see an emergency vehicle traveling on the opposite side of a concrete divider, stop abruptly.
15. If you own a yellow construction vehicle, drive it on major roads during rush hour traffic.