1. Keep your ski racks on all year round so that you look like a police car in other car's rear-view mirrors.
2. If you are a part-time volunteer at a local fire department and have one of those blue "ooh-look-at-me-I'm-important" flashing lights on your car, use it whenever you go shopping or to a restaurant.
3. When parking in a residential neighborhood, always park in the street blocking someone else's driveway.
4. When parking on a residential street without curbs, always make sure that you park partially on someone's lawn.
5. Always change the radio station, tape, or CD while you are in the middle of changing lanes.
6. If you are a driving school instructor, make as many appointments as possible during peak traffic times. Then inform your students to drive real slow and not to worry about the "crazy morons" on the road.
7. After filling your tank and paying at a busy gas station, leave your car in front of the pumps while you use the restroom and shop for a snack.
8. Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
9. While listening to your favorite song, let other drivers on the road know that your listing to your favorite song. The best way to do this is, is to steer the car with your knee, pretend to be holding a pair of drum sticks, and start beating away at the steering wheel and rear-view mirror. While the whole time bobbing your head all over the place.
10. If another driver does something stupid to tick you off, get out of your car at the next red light and scream at him through his window to get out and have his a*s kicked.
11. Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
12. When passing a bicyclist, do not under any circumstance cross the center line, even if you are driving down a straight road with no oncoming vehicles in sight.
13. Keep the driver seat as far back as possible so that you can barely reach the pedals.
14. When approaching a bicyclist or parked car in your lane, swerve carelessly into oncoming traffic to go around it.
15. Save money. Don't bother with insurance.

Here's a late Halloween joke for you:D

Why couldn't the witch have a baby?

Because her husband had a halloweenie.