- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
- While driving your car, do your makeup, shave, eat, drink, read, or chat animatedly on your cell phone. Weave the car about to confirm you're not paying attention to the road.
- On a bicycle, run stop signs in residential areas.
- Drive down the street with all the windows down and the stereo all the way up. Be sure to pick music no one else likes, but should.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Pull up to the toll booth and tell them it's free Chevrolet day.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green. Insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Don't answer email.
- Answer email with one-line responses and don't quote the source, so no one knows what you're talking about. Complain later that no one understands you or takes you seriously.
- Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
- Start an argument about how AOL is best Internet provider.
- Run a humor email list.
- Find some guy and every time you encounter him, say, "Oops! Just a minute," go around behind him and adjust his tie under his collar.
- Offer to hold someone's place in the grocery or bank line, then leave the line yourself after they're out of sight.
- Take the last cookie, especially if you just took one.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Leave a long rambling message with an urgent demand and you be called back. Don't include your name and number.
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