I can't even remember the last time I posted a random sayings blog, so I thought I should add one today:D

1. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
2. Me, a skeptic? I hope you have proof.
3. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
4. Money can't buy love, but it can rent a very close imitation.
5. My Hockey Mom can beat up your Soccer Mom.
6. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
   Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
7. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
8. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
10. Never argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
11. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
12. Never look back unless you intend to go that way.
13. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
14. Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
15. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
16. Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.
17. On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was, surrounded by trees, shrubs and bushes.
18. One nation, under God, with liberty, large fries, and a Coke to go.
19. One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
20. Over the hill? What hill? I didn't see any hill!