"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"FOR RENT: CONDOM... ONLY US$650."
- Ad in Jakarta Post, should have read Condo

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier."
- Anonymous Traffic Report

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."
- Arab News report

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
- Budapest Zoo sign

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"Any person who shall lead or drive a bear upon any highway shall be fined not more than $50."
- Connecticut General Statutes, Section 6215