Stupid Advertisements / Quotes (part 6)

by trm6 on January 9, 2008 Comments

1. "Man shots neighbor with machete."
   - Miami Herald, headline
2. "I say no to drugs, but they don't listen."
   - Marilyn Manson, Singer
3. "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate."
   - Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
4. "The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas."
   - Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
5. "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
   - Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
6. "Okay, everyone, now inhale... and then dehale!"
   - Maury Wills, Los Angeles Dodgers captain, leading his teammates through warm-up calisthenics
7. "It's like when I buy a horse. I don't want a thick neck and
   short legs."
   - Mickey Rourke, Actor, describing what he wants in a woman.
8. "I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
   - Mike Greenwell, Baseball player
9. "It's got lots of installation."
   - Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, describing his new coat
10. "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
    - Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.
11. "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
    - Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she would want to live forever.
12. "Except for his car, he's the only man on the track."
    - Murray Walker, Sportcaster
13. "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
    - Murray Walker, Sportscaster
14. "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the
    opposite"
    - Murray Walker, Sportscaster