After interrupting me to ask a fairly good question about punctuation in a bibliography, my roommate's girlfriend goes on a tirade about the author's name. "Nget?? What kind of name is that? Like a chicken nugget?" and then the kicker: "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE ALL JUST HAVE AMERICAN NAMES?"

True story of an honest customer at a video store--
"This movie is in black and white, will it play on my color television?"

I was at a restaurant for the first time. I had to go the bathroom. So I went. When I was done in this strange, unfamiliar bathroom I went to exit and found that the door was locked. I panicked. I stood there pounding and yelling for someone to come and get me out. After about ten minutes of the yelling and pounding, a kid walked in behind me. I looked around and realized that I had been pounding on the broom- closet door for ten minutes. I just looked at the kid like I knew what I was doing and just walked out.

My kid brother bought a Lego set, took it home, opened it, and exclaimed, "It's broken!"