On the Fourth of July my aunt was smoking. when she was finished she walked over to a paper bag and dropped a half finished cigarette still lit into the bag not knowing it was full of fire works. When everything was finished exploding she said what happened?

Being a car nut, people often come to me to ask my opinion on an upcoming purchase. One day, someone asked me about radar detectors. In about an hour, I explained all the intricacies of how they worked etc. He finally decided to go after the best and spend about $400 on it. About a month later I met up with him and he was pretty mad. It seemed that he had received 3 speeding tickets since he got the detector. Here is the conversation:

ME: Did the thing beep?
HIM: Yea it beeped a lot.
ME: Was it adequate warning? About how long did the thing beep for 'till you saw the patrol car?
HIM: About 30 seconds.
ME: 30 SECONDS? How quickly did you slow down?
HIM: Slow down?
ME: Yea, didn't you try to slow down?
HIM: Why? Doesn't that thing make the cops not see me?