Up until recently, I worked in a grocery store. One day, an elderly couple came up to me holding a carton of Breyer's Vanilla Ice Cream. The old man shows it to me, and says, "Look her, what are 'bean specks'? Written on the lid was "With real vanilla bean specks". I tried to explain, but his wife was like "They aren't lima beans, are they?" At first, I thought she was kidding. Nobody could be that stupid. I guess I was wrong. She wasn't kidding. I then explained that vanilla comes from beans.

One time, when I was working, I asked a customer if they wanted their groceries bagged in paper or plastic. She was like "I want a bag". I looked at her and asked again. "I want a bag." I sighed and picked up a paper bag. She was like, "That's not a bag, that's a sack." Um, whatever, lady. Since then, I've had a lot of people who just say "I want a bag." Once, I practically had to shove the bags in some guys face before he finally said which one!

Heading out on our dive charter off the coast of Florida, we started to get some rain showers. One newcomer to the sport said " Everything's getting wet, will we still be able to dive? Almost in unison everyone said " Noooooo." We led her on for a while until we couldn't stand her depressed look anymore.