Ways to Annoy Your College Roommate (part 2)

by trm6 on June 21, 2007 Comments

1. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.
2. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
3. Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really important but you can't remember who it was.
4. Skip to the bathroom.
5. Collect Chia-Pets.
6. Eat a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
7. Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done it."
8. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report.
9. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it regularly and frown.
10. Bring in potential new roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room.
11. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain that "it just didn't belong."
12. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."
13. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he/she knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
14. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."
15. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.
16. Sign your roommate up for various activities (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor).
17. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
18. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.
19. Draw a chalk outline of a dead body on the floor.
20. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen and yellow highlighter. Highlight page numbers and write rude comments on the margins.
21. Write letters to yourself from famous people. Mail them to yourself. Be sure your roommate picks the mail.