I've been making chicken wings for many, many years. By request of a couple of my dear friends, I'm going to share how I like to make my wings. I've decided to use an analogy, it can sometimes help to remember things.

Compare it to going to the spa for a day, getting the full treatment. First there's the rub down, then some time in the whirlpool bath, and finally time in the sauna. But first, a bit about the anatomy of the chicken wing.

The chicken wing comprises three segments, separated by two joints. The wing is technically considered "white meat," but it's actually a combination of white and dark meat. The prized portion is the front end, often sold separately, as the "drummett." Drummetts usually sell thirty or forty more cents a pound. But they're great and worth it! Unless you're doing volume. Then the cost adds up. If you do get standard wings, chop off that back end, the tail. They're worthless. With a sharp cleaver, doesn't take that long to remove.

Back to the Spa Analogy. Before going to a spa, you want to be clean. It's just... standard practice. For this recipe, we're talking two dozen wings. No, I hate that. We're talking 24 wings. I don't like it when people take numbers and put them into words. Like half a million, tens of thousands, etc. Just say a number! Clean your sink, sterilize it if you want. Then take your wings, eight at a time, and wash them with cold water.

The Rub
Besides chopping them with a cleaver, this is the most intimate you get with your wings. The Rub involves spices. Here's my standard fare: five tablespoons of garlic-oregano, three tablespoons of cayenne, and two tablespoons of black pepper. It you like Rosemary, Sage, and Thyme, throw it in there! But I wouldn't overdo it. :) Put the spices in a coffee cup, and mix well. Using a teaspoon, sprinkle the spices across the wings. Then turn them over and do it again, making sure they get well covered. Then, to do this right, you gotta take each wing in your hands and rub the spices in deep. I mean, after putting a cleaver to them, isn't it time to make friends? :) And yeah, you do this in three different sets, eight wings to a set. No shortcuts! Oh, and if you're really big on honey wings, this could be a good time to coat your hands in honey and rub them down! But the honey's viscosity, it can trap out the smokey flavor. More on that later!

The Whirlpool
This is the marinade. Like The Rub, variety is of the essence. Here's the basic formula: get a couple of bottles of barbecue sauce. I'm not going to make any recommendations, because I haven't finalized any royalty contracts. :) You need a pitcher, like a tea pitcher. Pour about one and a half bottles of sauce, then go custom. For me, a significant quantity of hot sauce is in play. Significant? lol. Half a bottle, depending on the size of the bottle. Then a fruit juice, orange juice or grapefruit juice. Grapefruit's really better, if you like that subtle flavor. And that's what we're building here. Subtlety. The fruit juice is signnificant, because it's acidic. It permeates the fatty outter coating of the wings. This is also a good place to add three or four teaspoons of honey, if you want that semi sweet tasty finger lickin' goodness.

Okay, you've got to take all that stuff in your tea pitcher, and stir like you can't sleep over an old lover! Don't stop. Stir, stir, stir! FASTER! Once it's right, you need a large bowl. Like maybe an eight quarter. Something that could hold the wings, and a couple of breasts. Did I mention the breasts? Never forget the breasts! You should have been prepping them in much the same fashion. I mean, if you're busting your ass, you should get some breasts! You can eat on those things all week! Pour the marinade over the chicken. Then roll up your sleeves and stick your hands down in the bowl, mixing the wings around. Make sure they get covered. Yeah, it's messy. But it's worth it. Now here's the secret: You did all this the day before you cook the wings! Put them in the fridge. They must settle over night. And, you need to put them on the counter two or three hours before cooking. They need to get back to room temperature. It helps in letting the flavor set in. Trust me.

The Sauna
This is where you can really screw it up. :) Up to now, it's been pretty easy. So the cooking method? Two words: Ambient Heat. No, I shouldn't pass over the importance of smoking. In the simplest of terms, it involves using charcoal and wood chips. Wood chips are like the thing you could use and do nothing else I described above. You'd still get good wings. The ideal situation (for me), you have a decent sized charcoal grill with a lid. Big round thing. On one side, you put your hot briquets.

Then you cover those biscuits with wood chips. These you can get at most grocery stores. They're usually hickory or mesquite flavored. And you have to soak them beforehand. For at least an hour. It makes them burn slower and makes more smoke. If you want to get real gourmet fancy, soak them in a dark red wine, like a burgundy! I've done it a couple of times. :) You really can taste a difference! I wouldn't recommend the '72 French Merlot though.

So then you just have to be patient. The charcoal is on one side of the grill, there's smoke billowing out, and the heat's cooking the bird. If you're using a gas grill without wood chips, still use the ambient heat. Put the chicken on one side, and the heat on the other. But the charcoal is the way to go! Keep the temperature at about 250-300, let it cook for about 90 minutes to 2 hours. Check it out. Cut to the bone. If you see red or pink at the bone, let it cook another 30 minutes. But keep the heat constant! And the breasts may have to cook a bit longer. Also, don't cook them too long! No one likes a dry breast! :)

Bring A Friend
The spa is a personal experience, but if you can bring a friend it's that much better! I make this side deal, called Italian Bread. Not sure of its origins. Here's the recipe: Get a loaf of Italian Bread. You need butter, garlic salt, a sharp serrated knife, and aluminum foil. I know, duh. But like everything else, it's like everything else! Lots of work. I usually prepare it in half loaves, because of the brood I'm feeding. You need a sharp, serrated knife, because you need to cut the loaf without smashing the bread. Strokes back and forth. Lots of crumbs, but that's okay. Cut the loaf cross wise into half inch slices. Could be up to 12 to 15 slices. Then cut it length wise, down the middle. Then, the butter fun starts! Slice wedges of butter off the stick, packing it between the bread segments. One at a time, repetition! Then you rub butter all over the crust, drizzle it with garlic salt, wrap it in the aluminum foil, put it in the oven at 300 for 25 minutes, yada yada. You get the idea.

You know, this is one of those rare occasions. If I could just pay someone to make it for me, I'd pass.

:)

TG