hey gang! that is if there is even a gang around here anymore, I dont know. this is like one of those extra-bonus footage pieces that they show after movies sometimes.

I was kind of feeling nostalgic, if you can feel nostalgic for something thats just a bunch of pixels and lousy programming, for this blog the other day. I guess that kind of comes with the territory of growing up or whatever. like, all my friends for pretty much ever have been older than I have, so this is probably old news (no pun, I think?) to them, but its freaking terrifying sometimes.

the snow is falling outside my window which is nice. I hope that it'll snow so much I won't have to go to church tomorrow. religion is something I have problems with/doubts about sometimes, and I guess it might not be a legitimate thing to have problems with but that's where I am at the moment. if I stopped going to church, it'd cause more problems that I don't feel like dealing with right now, so I just go. I could skip b/c the church we used to go to wasn't good enough for my parents (my siblings had no friends there, in essence and blablabla, boring things commence ici) so they go somewhere else, but it's a temporary solution to what is right now a permanent problem.

and that was deeply personal. I haven't told anyone this because who would understand but it's nice to just solidify stuff I've been thinking about for a while.

I suppose this blog will hearken back to the old days where I wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs about the mundane events of my life. yeah!

lately life has been okay. when I was talking to my librarian at school, she told me not to get senioritis, and I told her, "oh no, it's not in the traditional sense. I'm more tired of the social aspect." which is true. I get along with a lot of people, which sounds arrogant and is weird to think about, but I don't have anyone I'm close to. in essence, I'm kind of a mystery! which is good.

I've been accepted to some colleges (with money) and that's nice but someone tried to belittle one of the places I got into. "oh, everyone's going there." yeah so? doesn't mean that it's some kind of pod-people type-deal. it's an alright school and I got some good opportunities there (honors program + leadership-style thing) and if I wanted to take it, so what? it doesn't make me less. education, I really believe, is what you make of it. yes, it is good to do well and get good grades, but I think that a love of what you learn is important. and wow it just got cheesy here.

but that's that.

I kind of just needed to write something just because + it's very quiet here these days which is nice for just rambling and having a place to keep said ramble. I might do this in the future, I dunno. who knows what's going to happen?

I don't.