I am posting them here. It's something I wanted to do for me more than anything else. Very few people actually know the real me, but this might give you a small glimpse of it. HEre is what I came up with

If curiosity is such a large part of human nature, why do so few use their curiosity to dig deeper than the surface?

Who decided that Shakespheare is a better author than George RR Martin or that Frank Sinatra is a better musician than Opeth or that Mozart is a better composer than Hitoshi Sakimoto, and why is one wrong for thinking different?

Where are the people that appreciate Opeth, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Killer 7, and why have I found so few of them?

Can one listen to music like Death Angel and play games like Resistance: Fall of Man and still have class?

For me, progressive music such as Opeth, Liquid Tension Experiment and Pink Floyd stimulates my mind more than any other type

Why does reading science fiction over non fiction make one less respectable in the eyes of some?

Intelligence is relative. Is someone any less intelligent because he or she can have a more in depth discussion of the history ov video games over the history of the world?

Yeah. I think about things like this alot. I challenge conventsional ways of thinking in my mind all the time. I am choosing to voice it for once.

I am pissed off and I feel as if reality came crashing down ontop of me tonight. It feels as if people have been using me for one thing or another my entire life. Use me when I was a kid to play my Playstation or N64. Use me in middle school to take your frustrations out. Pick on me that way. Use me in high school to get a ride from one place to the next. Use me when I mature as someone to talk to when you are feeling down. When it is all said and done, leave me. Quit talking to me. Quit calling me. Whatever. Just leave me. I find it hard to trust people because it's pretty much all I have ever known. Being used. It seems hard to find a decent person in this world. There aren't any. There are only vultures aren't there? This world is full of parasites. It is full of people that suck you dry or prey on your weakness until you wise up or they have no further use for you. At that point, they leave you out to hang.

Here's what happened that broguth it all crashing down on me. Someone I know recently broke up with her boyfriend. I started talking to her a bit about it, and she felt comfortable talking to me. We sat up all night talking and the next day as well. She wound up telling me she liked me and I liked her...and still do. As the days passed, she grew increasingly more distant. She talked to me less and whatnot. She told me she was scared of going back to her ex because she was scared of getting hurt again. They have broken up 4 times already because he has done something to hurt her. She said she missed him but was determined to not go back to him. I told her to let he help her should her strength falter, but she said this was something she needed to do on her own. She wound up going back to him. I talked to her about it and about how I didn';t want her to get hurt above all else, but she has hardly said a word to me since. IT leaves me feeling as if she just used me as her go to while she patched things up with him. It leaves me feeling broken, as if none of it meant a damn thing because I was nothing more than her crutch. There is another situation where someone took advantage of me recently, but I will die before I will tell anyone that story. It disgusts me.

I feel so betrayed and heart broken by this. I feel lied to. I feel like I never meant a damn thing to her. Why isn't she even talking to me? The least she could do is be friendly. Is that so much to ask? It got me thinking, and I realized that freaking NO ONE talks to me. No one ever approaches me to talk. No one texts me to talk. My phone never rings. My one sends me messages in any instant messanger. No one does any of that. No one thinks enough of me to spark a conversation with me. EVery single time I wind up conversing with someone , I have been the one to iniciate the conversation. Why is that? Why don't people think enough of me to spark up a conversation? Knowing that hurts. Who can Ir eally trust? Who really cares about me? I don't know. I don't know anything right now. Bleh. I hate sounding like this. I hate whining

Here's what I really don't get. This guy has hurt her multiple times in the past, but she keeps going back to him. Why? Why do you go back to someone when all your logic and common sense should be screaming at you about how incredibly stupid it is? Why do girls ignore the guys that are worth a damn for the **** Don't come freaking complaining to me about how there are no decent guys out there just because, when you find one, you fail to freaking recognize it. It's not my fault you cannot see that which is right in front of you, even if they are throwing themselves at you. It's also not my fault that you ran back to the **** so don't comr crying to me about how there are no freaking decent guys out there. I AM ONE! WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR GUYS THAT DON'T TREAT WOMEN LIKE CRAP TO GET A GIRL! That is just freaking stupid. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should treat women like crap. It goes against my nature. IT goes against everything I am, but I swear sometimes that it seems like it is the only way to ever gain a girls attention.

ARGH! I AM SO FREAKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW *punches wall as hard as I can* I NEED TO DESTROY SOMETHING BEFORE I SNAP! I HATE PEOPLE! THEY ARE SCUM! EVERYONE HAS A PRICE, AND IT USUSALLY ISN'T VERY HIGH! EVERYONE HOVERS OVER YOU AND PREYS ON YOU! I HATE PEOPLE! ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am come to stay. I am going to Fenway Park in August. This makes me very very happy. I need a headder for my profile and blog at some point. I will ask a friend to do it later. I need to come up with something good. this blog post is going to be lame. I will do miuch better ones than this in the futre. For now, I am tired. I feel like shooting something. Going to go play something on my PS3 I think. Cya