my thanks to Billy the Bum for writing this hilarious meeting up for everyone.

I have a few things to say before you read this.
this is in no way a REAL staff meeting.
this isn't meant to insult fans of FF7, it was written by one.
this is for comical enjoyment only, may be offencive at times.
this doesn't fit into 1 post so there will be 3 blogs, please read in correct order.
ENJOY!


Squaresoft Exec: “All right, everyone, welcome. Now, I know that our last game succeeded so well, but we’re once again going to start fresh. A whole new set of characters, a whole new world, a whole new everything. This company will never stoop to making direct sequels or milking any one game in the Final Fantasy series… do you all understand me?”

Everyone Else: “Yes sir!”

Squaresoft Exec: “Good, now… we’ve had a bit of a… falling out with Nintendo. Looks like we’re never going to work for them again. But no worries, Sony’s picking up the bill, and we’re working for them now. First order of business is, of course, now we no longer have to worry about that pesky ‘censorship’ crap Nintendo keeps feeding us. Sony is encouraging us to make the next installment in the series more… mature.”

Company Guy #1: “I suggest a more deeply involved plotline and also more complex game mechanics.”

Squaresoft Exec: “Insolence! I said mature, you imbecile. I want a character… no, wait, make it two characters who do nothing but swear. And you! Give me a lead female with breasts this big, long legs, and a skirt that almost comes down to the bottom of her ass.”

Company Guy #2: “But sir… that’s ridiculous.”

Squaresoft Exec: “Insolence! Also, I want the lead character to carry around a sword this big.”

Company Guy #1: “Um… sir? That’s physically impossible. It sounds like something a five year-old would think up.”

Squaresoft Exec: “And spiky hair! Give him really spiky hair! That means that he’s a ‘cool’ character. But make him different enough so that nobody confuses him with that Crono idiot.”

Company Guy #2: “Sir, are you sure you’re all right?”

Squaresoft Exec: “And a talking dog! Oh, man, this new game is gonna be so ****ing awesome!”

Company Guy #1: “All right, then… slutty female lead, potty-mouthed sidekicks, cheap Crono knockoff with unreasonably large sword, and a talking dog… anything else?”

Squaresoft Exec: “Oh, one of those sidekick guys? Make him this huge guy… and give him a gun for an arm! And load them both up with ‘tude.”

Company Guy #2: “Sir… I have to protest. This is pure insanity. Nobody would buy this drivel.”

Squaresoft Exec: “Insolence! Shut your hole, Company Guy #2! Now, where was I?”

Company Guy #1: “Somewhere between hallucinations, I think.”

Squaresoft Exec: “Insolence!”