"If you... go.... to..... see.... another......movie....... besides...... Grindhouse........ DON'T!"

It basically comes down to this, if you've ever had a good time at the movie theatre, or even a decent time, you will completely fall in love with Grindhouse.

The film is what critics like to call a "Movie Event", and directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino nail that experience right in the head.

The movie starts out, the screen is white, and so gritty, and looks so bad, the film reel looks like it's been through hell. And it starts with a faux trailer of a Robert Rodriguez directed movie. It's called Machete, and it's completely awesome, I won't spoil too much, but friggin Cheech plays a Pastor.

Then Planet Terror. The movie will happily scratch any zombie movie itch you've ever had. The action scenes are top-notch, the blood looks amazing(Gears of War), and the actors are great. The soundtrack is Rodriguez's second best to date(first being Kill Bill V.2). The only probablem is that the characters aren't exactly fleshed out too much(major characters die, and you'd care less), the other problem I have is that the trailer completely spoils half of the great action scenes in the movie.

 Overall: 9/10

We now go to the 3 additional fake trailers

Werewolf Women of the S.S., I just could not stop laughing. I don't want to spoil to much, instead I will post my new favorite picture ever made. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you, Nicolas Cage as Dr. Fu Manchu

 Don't:

This was made by my favorite British people(aka, Shaun of the Dead team and Hot Fuzz team). It's basically a trailer with one central joke, but it was excellent(reference is in the first line of review)

Thanksgiving:

I'll let the trailer speak for itself: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nbSKnL4WFJM (and yes, that is a dude raping a turkey in the end)

 Death Proof:

Ok, let me say this first. I believe that Tarantino slowed it down a lot on purpose. After we have seen so much nonstop over-the-top action, we(the audience) needs to catch our breath. Once we learn and understand each of the characters in an ever so long gap of characterization, the audience gets what they want, which is a perfectly edited and perfectly executed bloody car torture/car crash that we was teased of the the trailer. It was here that I learned why Death Proof is a much more memorable film than Planet Terror. The characters killed off at the beginning were developed, we cared for them(ok, some of them), Rose McGowen was really innoscent, and the car crash was great. Then, this is where the biggest downfall of the film is. We are introduced to a new set of characters, none of which who I felt simpathetic for at all(except for Zoe Bell, but thats for a different reason).

so now we have a long and an impressive single shot table talk that seems to last forever, and I did not care about any of it at all. Then there was an outdoor scene that was ok. And by here, I don't know what was going on with Tarantino's movie, which isn't good. I don't really know if I can blame the actresses(none of them stood out in the second crowd) or if I can blame Tarantino's writing. Tarantino has never failed me, and in this movie, I was unimpressed with the writing, he just might not be able to right good dialog for female roles.

ANYYYYWAY! all is really forgiven. since Tarantino directs one of the best action sequences I've ever seen in my whole life. It's really an incredible thing to see and I would've paid $20 just to see it again. This is then followed by one of the best endings to a movie(especially this movie, which is so over the top) EVER! I really don't want to spoil it, but it's just flat out amazing how Tarantino ended it. I was in a full theatre and when The End popped up, I believe most of the theatre immediately stood up and applauded.

Overall: 9.5/10

Points I would like to make out:

-Tarantino had an amazing speech on the elevator in Planet Terror, and then he kind of broke up the unentertaining part in Death Proof. Tarantino really lights up the screen when he's on

-This movie is the funniest movie in years, it's in competition with Borat on how many times/how hard I laughed throughout the movie

-I wouldn't mind paying double the fee to see both of these movies

-All of the faux trailers was amazing, and IMO, Werewolf was the best, Dr. Fu Manchu needs to be my account name on everything

- I would buy a direct-to-DVD Machete(which Rodriguez has pretty much confirmed he wants to make)

-I really do hope there will be more Grindhouses in the future, having different directors being the hosts of them(I'm excited for the next Eli Roth movie, even though I hate Hostel). Tarantino already says he would be on board, and wants to do an old Kong Fu movie with dubbed voices. Hell, Machete would be awesome