Before I start .. I want u to know thats a lot of to read .. please take the time ..

I was thinking about what I could write in my next blog entry .. Well now .. I know ..

I talked to a very good friend ..and yah for me it was really good to talk about some "stuff" (u will understand) .. cuz this stuff made me think .. I want to share this thoughts with you ..

This is for you .. all the people .. that feel like we do ..

A lot of "Gamer's" have a hard time in their lifes.. For us.. games re like a drug .. like the alcohol for a alcoholic - like the weed for people like bob marley .. without them.. we feel empty.. A lot of people take drugs - drink alcohol .. why they do that? .. Cuz it makes feel them better .. make them feel like the problems that they have aren't that big .. anyways.. what I want to say is that a lot of gamers are like that.. made games to their drug .. they play to dream - to run into a other world - maybe a better world where they feel good .. and better than they feel in their real life.. I will tell you something about me that my friend already know ..

I'm one of them .. One of the people .. that made other people think that they are better than me .. cuz they have money and everything that they want .. BUT .. you can't buy a good heart and character with money .. I was different .. not like the other girls.. I was interested to cars - video games - good music - sport.. But .. They always talked about make up, shoes, hair stuff, go shopping, clothes and how to make nails .. - but watch out - OMG if they break one of their nails they like: "NOOOOO! THE WORLD IS GOING UNDER!!!" .. I was like "Wtf? It grows again .." .. it was always funny when they see a spider or something like that .. they jump up - scream and b like "TAKE IT OOOFF WAHAH TAKE IT OOOFFFFF *cry*" omg .. even when it's just a little one .. .. whatever the stupiest thing was .. they always talked bad about other people and about their own friends behind the back ..snakes .. Ever girl in my ****was like that .. except me .. but in the breaks I always standing with them but I knew that was talking bad about me too.. Cuz I didn't fit in their picture .. I was wearing comfortable cloth like big sweatersand chill pants lool .. I didn't care .. I started to bring my >WALKMAN< (remember this? :P) to school .. well one day it changed to an MP3 Player lol.. I was happy about that .. cuz the music knew how I felt.. And I don't had to listen to the stupid stuff of these girls no more .. But yah .. I started to feel lonely.. cuz there was nobody else that liked the stuff I did.. Well this feeling was there for a long time .. and if people got a problem with how I was or where I come from and they touched me wrong I was just smiling and said .. "You don't know me .. but you sure you want to take this step?" .. I'll remeber like it was yesterday .. It was in school .. A group of girls and the one .. (like the "leader of the brainless") .. well she touched me wrong .. and said that she want me to move back in my country cuz they don't want people like me here .. she started to push me .. and this was a big mistake .. Well you already know what I said to her with the smile on my face .. but she thouht I don't have a chance cuz I'm so short .. But how can I say that .. Well .. I beated her up lol .. The funniest thing was that her friends just watched (maybe they were to scared bout the nails? XD) .. yaah mh .. since this day I choosed the part I wanted to go .. I dont felt like go to school .. and told my mom so often that I feel sick .. so I could stay at home lol .. I was so happy everytime to stay at home or when I got off school .. go home and play videogames - that was the thing I was looking forward to .. every day.. Play games .. and feel free.. Be lost in a other world.. But in school I felt lonely every day a little bit more .. but I started to uhm .. "grew up".. well I mean .. I looked more "feminine" as other girls .. (they was jealous cuz their body's didn't changed .. and was hating more than they did before..) .. I changed my cloth and .. So yah the boys started to b interested in me .. I knew it's was only bcuz how I look .. But I started to hang out with the guys.. ride the bikes - go skateboarding .. stuff like that but never more .. We was all cool untill .. one dude thought he can grab my butt.. But I turned around and punched him in his face .. Damn he was mad lol .. and he never talked to me again but I didn't care cuz it was his own fault .. and if other girls are to stupid to do something against it .. it don't mean that he can try it with me .. cuz I dont let people play with me how they wan't .. Well the guys I was hangin with .. I didnt call them my friends .. just .. dudes that I chill with .. Till a new guy moved in our town and goes in my grade we started to hang out - play games - listen to music - go skateboarding .. we became friends - best friends .. - I dind't felt alone anymore cuz we talked about everything.. I dont hat girlfriends cuz I wasn't into all the "girly stuff" .. and in my eyes they was all the same .. I thought it would be nice to have a girl as friend but ya I was to different .. that was the price I had to pay .. ( I know it was the right way .. cuz I dont want to be like other people .. ) .. Mh things changed.. The person that I am now will never change .. I believe in myself and just trust a few people .. I'm in this "trust nobody thing" lol XD .. (It's the hard way .. but better to stay away from pain ..) .. I'm still the same girl that I was before .. Just with more power ;) - with more happiness - with more pride and self-confident .. I'm like ice to people that thinks they are better then others .. and I'm a good friend to people that keep it real and show respect like I do ..

anyways.. I know how a lot of you feel .. and I wanted to let you know .. You are not alone.. Stay strong.. Be Yourself.. And try to make the best out your school days, life and stay out of trouble .. I believe in you.. Games are our drug .. make us feel good.. Thats why we are the same .. Maybe it sounds crazy but.. Games always will be part of my life and heart.. cuz they always help me through hard times (and of cuz good times..) they made me find real friends - now .. my best friends .. thank you ..

- To my friend: I know that I mean you when u read this .. And I know you will .. - You are a great person, you will always have my respect and I will be there and listen to you like you listen to me.. Thanks for everything and making me smile.. We go through this together and I will be here for you .. Don't change cuz u are awesome - how u are now .. a lot of people respect - and like you .. I hope you know that.. Cuz they will stay at your side like I do.. No matter how far away they are keep that in mind.. Thank you again and thanks for beeing such a good friend :) ..

- To Ya'll: Thank you for reading .. I know it took time but I hope I made you think.. and look forward that you maybe help people like I was in the past to feel not alone in this world.. A lot of people go through this .. Keep your heads alway's up .. I hoped I helped..

Believe in yourself and your dreams..
Be who you are ..
You are not alone ..

... - Much Love Yuki