In this tale, there is a girl. No, she isn't an ordinary girl, but instead of outright telling you what's special about her, I'll let you find out for yourself. The girl is God_of_duty117. The place: The Hot Cheetos factory is Tuscon, Arizona. The when: approxametly 6:45 pm. Which time zone? THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

"What happened? How did this plan go down the proverbial toilet?" These were the questions God was asking herself while police sirens and flocks of dumbfounded sheep were surrounding the Hot Cheetos factory. "I had people on the inside set up explosives here, I made sure this was the best time to enter the factory and lay out my demands. But no. Something went wrong. Was there a mole in my team?" She grabbed her walkie-talkie and talked into it: "Number 2, how are the negotians going down there?" Number 2 responded: "The pigs aren't listening to our demands. They said the SWAT team's gonna arrive in 10 minutes and if we don't give up, they're told to shoot to kill." Running towards the window, God shouted "****!!!! Do they think we're bluffing? Remind those thickheaded bastards that we have 2-freakin'-tons of C4 scattered around this place, and we aren't afraid to detonate them!" She threw the walkie talkie on the ground before hearing Number 2's reply and ran back to a nervous man tied up with duct tape. "Tell me where you keep your Hot Cheetos!" barked God as she smacked the man across the face. "TELL ME!!!!" Her voice was filled with searing rage. "F-f-f-f-f..." the man began stuttering. "Do you honestly think I won't blow this building up? I will blow up every, single office in this God-forsaken place unless you tell me where you keep your stash of Hot Cheetos!!!" The man was finally able to mutter "I've seen your detonator... it looks like a child's toy, I know you're bluffing..." "Oh really? You know why?" God asked as she creeped up towards the man and took out the 'detonator' from her pocket "Yeah, it does look pretty cheap, huh?" She threw the detonator on the floor and smashed it under her foot. "Aha! I knew you were bluffing, you crazy bi-" said the man in astonishment as God slapped him across the face before he could finish his remark. "Yes, it is a toy. No, I'm not bluffing. You see, I have this funny little gift... I've had it my entire life, and it's really helped me get through some tough times. D'you wanna know what it is?" She was playing with him. "Pyrokenesis. Yup. The ability to create and manipulate fire with my mind! Now those C4 are scattered across this building, and when my mind says so, they will detonate and level this entire building down to the ground. Unless, of course, you tell me where you keep your HOT - ****ing - CHEETOS!!!!" The man was visibly shaking. "Why won't he tell me?!" God thought as she looked around for her walkie talkie, forgetting she had thrown it on the ground, earlier. She picked it up and shouted "Numbers 3 and 4, come up here right this minute, I need you to "persuade" this man into giving me the information I want! Number 2, you keep those cops busy, we'll be outta here in a few minutes." "But the SWAT-" Number 2 answered, but was cut off by Number 3 "Don't worry, mate, she knows what she's doing." God sat on the man's office chair and in a few seconds 3 and 4 arrive. "3 and 4, get this man to tell me where the Hot Cheetos are while I try and visualize where the bombs are; you guys hid them too well, I can't see them very well even with my hightened sense of explosives." God said while Numbers 3 and 4 walked up to the man and took out their 'tools'. "Lets see... ah... hm, I'd never think to look there." God was thinking as she was trying to mentally map out the locations of all the bombs. "Number 1! Number 1! The SWAT's here, you'd better hurry up!" said Number 2 over the walkie talkie, the sound of desparation and fear were in his voice. "Dammit!" God barked as Number 3 got up and said "Numero uno, we got him ta talk. He says there's a vault in the basement."

As she was riding the elevator down to the basement, God pondered how this plan could have possibly gotten this bad without the help of a mole. "How could the cops have arrived here so quickly? Those bums take at least 15 minutes to answer any call, no matter how bad it is." The 'B' on the sign above the elevator lit up and when the doors open, God saw a giant door with a sign up above reading "Employees Only. Authorization Code 77E required." After exiting the elevator, God wondered if C4 could blow up a door so gigantic. "I should have thought this out further..." she thought. She grabbed her walkie talkie and called Numbers 3 and 4 "It says 'Authorization Code 77E' is required to get through. Ask the hostage what I need to do to open the door to the vault." No response. "3 and 4? 3 and 4, do you read me? Do you read me 3 and 4?" Still no response. "Dammit, something's going on up there!" She changed to Number 2's frequency and asked what was happening; no answer. "****" she muttered while she was trying to assess the situation. "Maybe I can't get any signal down here." Then she heard a 'ding' sound and turned to see the elevator has come back down to the basement floor. "Who's there?" she yelled. "This is the police. If you don't cease and desist, we will be forced to fire." She chuckled. "You don't want to play fire with me" she responded. The door opened up, and the cops began to aim and fire when their bullets exploded immediately after they left the barrel. "Is that all you can do?!" God shouted as she began to make the cop's guns explode one-by-one. "This is truly pathetic." She ran up to each and every cop and pulverized them with her martial arts moves. "Wait" she started thinking "if they were able to get down here, then that means. NOOOOO!!!!" She realized her teammates may have met their fate. She let out a blood-curdling scream as every bomb in the building started to go off. The door to the vault blasted open, and she ran over to the vault to see if she could take any loot that might make the whole ordeal completely worthless. As she went into the vault, she saw millions of bags of Hot Cheetos just waiting to be consumed!

She was wading through a sea of Hot Cheetos, forgetting that the building above was crumbling to the ground. All of a sudden the walls got darker and she couldn't move her arms. "What's going on?" she thought as the very world around her was tumbling down faster than the building she had just destroyed.

"What's wrong with her?" A man in a white coat asked the nurse standing next to a cell door. "She finally snapped, doctor. We had to medicate her, put a straight jacket on her and lock her up in this padded cell. It was the only thing we could do, I-" the doctor interrupted: "It's alright, you girls did the right thing. Does she still think she's God?" "I'm afriad so, sir."

***SPOILERS*** God was really in a nut house imagining the whole thing after finding out all the Hot Cheetos in the hospital were gone. The numbered people she was talking to were actually the voices in her head. She tied up a fellow inmate and eventually beat her up, then proceeded to attack the security that was trying to sedate her and stop her violence.***SPOILERS***

That's right, another cop-out "it was all in the main character's head" twist. Sue me. At least we learned one thing from this story: Hot Cheetos are so ****ing good that you'll do anything to get some. Another pointless "moral" to another pointless fable in THE ZAKKRO ZONE.