i went for my fourth run mid-afternoon yesterday and well, it was my hardest slog yet. i was running against the wind and when i had finished, was sweating as if a bucket of water had been thrown over my head. the best thing though was it got all my male aggression out of me and that motivates me to do it again later on today when it gets cooler. what also motivates me is the lsv training which will start up again in the next couple of months, giving me goals to work towards.

on monday, i went for my medical at a doctors clinic and guess what? i have been given the all clear physically and also with my urine sample which i learnt was fine, earlier today. the only hurdle that will stop me now is the defence force and whether they want to take on this kid from the east coast of the north island.

i am having doubts however. i know that if i cannot keep up a routine of fitness then i should forget about even joining the lsv as that is what they require. or am i taking it all too seriously? they are calling people off the unemployment line, afterall. i could eat well and train hard for two months, preparing myself for it, then get down there and find it was a complete waste of time.

these are the reasons why i want to go.

* i will save under one thousand dollars as i will still be receiving my welfare

* i will be going to christchurch for the first time, in the south island

* leaving here, will give me a six week break from this place

* i might feel more patriotic about this country i live in during and after serving in the military

* i will be flying down in an aircraft with air new zealand

* my fitness will improve

* i could learn a thing or two

* i would like to see the new zealand defence force arsenal, the lav amphibious vehicles, which are part of our peacekeeping force

eight reasons, i couldn't think of any others.

i will likely submit my application by the end of the working week or early next week and find out how i get on. but after i do that, it will lock in my commitment... then i will have to train regularly and continue to eat well. if i wait until around the 12th of july then i have that space between now and then to move around... train... diet... without any pressure.