An obviously heavily bribed/drunk Aerosmith + CD launcher? How can it fail?!
User Rating: 3 | Revolution X GEN
How can it fail? Successfully, it would seem. Apox on whatever soulless corporate behemoth (oh wait, Acclaim) created this, this steaming pile of turgid commercialism that almost made me quit gaming and burn my console as a sacrifice to my wicker god. I can picture the pinstripe-clad 40something trying to recapture his youth now... "Hmmm, what do kids like these days? Aerosmith! Yeah! And violence, gotta have violence" A good match, if said violence was performed on said talentless band. But no. Rather, Aerosmith have been kidnapped (that should've been the happy ending dammit!) by an evil corporation called N.O.N. trying to stop youths having fun (reminds me of the one that made this). The generic "anti authoritarianism is cool" angle that all early to mid 90s games took. And you have to "use the power of music" or something to defeat said corporation. You have an infinite ammo machine gun, but more interestingly you can launch CDs at your assailants. I say interesting not because the launcher is of any use, quite the contrary, it's slow, inaccurate and isn't powerful, but interesting because it may be Aerosmith CDs you're firing, and breaking, which compels one to use it! I thought the game was perhaps going to improve when I had the opportunity to shoot Brad Whiteford in the back as he stood at a urinal, but in a cruel twist of fate, shooting him actually rescued him! This game hits so many lows that it's almost dumbfounding. Just when you think it hits the bottom of the barrell it goes straight through it, and the earth's crust. Gameplay - 3: The on rails shooter thing had it's time about 3 years before this was released, but you got to shoot some of the background which was moderately entertaining for the first 5 seconds. Graphics - 6: What?! A number past 5?! I'm afraid so. Although most of the animation was appalling, it had some FMV which was pretty good for its time. Would've been a 7 if it wasn't Steven Tyler in said FMV Sound - 5: The usual "funky" music you'd expect from a bastard child of a poor idea and commercialism. The voices were rather clear, but again, the effervescent Mr. Tyler squealing "PLAY IT AGAIN" at me repeatedly was enough for a permanent mute. Value - 3: You may, MAY, want to play through this game again, just to make sure it really was that awful. Tilt - 1: Bias? Me? Summary: No one has ever liked Aerosmith. Steven Tyler's mouth is just so fascinatingly tragic that we're unable to not buy their music! If only Acclaim had realised this... Buy this game, just so you can have something to impale next time you’re angry, like me and the other 18 people who bought it. 
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