Rockstar + A.I. = Will NEVER be balanced. It hasn't happened in GTA, and it doesn't happen here either.

User Rating: 4.8 | Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis X360
Being as bored as I was, I decided to make a trip down to EB Games today and pick up Table Tennis. I figure hey, it's only $39.99 right? Even if it's pretty "bleh", at least its cheaper than $60. After playing this game for a few painstakingly long hours, which I only did for you guys/gals benefit :), it's safe to say that Rockstar needs to just come out and say, "We can't make decent A.I. We just can't." Don't get me wrong, the game has its high points. In fact, let's just jump right to my Game Breakdown without further delay.

Graphics: Good. The players will work up a sweat as the match progresses. Arenas look decent enough. Overall, everything is crisp. There's not much to say because this one is pretty straightforward. Clothes flow with characters movements well. That's really all you see when you play graphically.

Control: Oh man is this going to be a mixed bag. Personally, I wanted a pick-up-and-play scheme. Just grab the controller and go at it. But for a game that theoretically targets the "casual gamer" crowd, easy to play this one is NOT. Even playing the game now, I struggle with trying to put spin on the ball while my character moves around like a drunken chimp. There are many, MANY times in this game when I would mean to strike the ball, but instead wind up making my character stumble. Let me explain, because I'm sure there are alot of people out there who are very curious as to how the control setup for a game like this could possibly be confusing. Okay, the left thumbstick moves your character right, left, forward, and back. The RIGHT thumbstick controls spin. Sound easy? Well..not so fast. To make a "focus shot" (wtf are power shots doing in a table tennis game?? Ever since EA made the very first Gamebreakers, every developer and their mother have been ripping it off. STOP!), you'll need to move the right stick in conjunction with holding down the right bumper. Sound easy? Try picturing it. Moving the left stick, adjusting spin with the right stick, and holding the bumper at the same time, all while in the midst of lightning fast gameplay. Being honest, after about an hour's worth of play, my right wrist was cramping up. Of course, if you're apparently REALLY good, the different kinds of spin are mapped to the X,A,B, and Y buttons. WHAT?? WHY??? You STILL have to place the shot too..and that's what really sucks. The left thumbstick directs the ball. It also moves your character. See where this is going? You can only direct where you want the ball to go AFTER you have built up your spin and before the ball actually gets to you. If the A.I. puts top spin on the ball, you're screwed and that's it. That, or you'll pop it up for a ridiculously easy score for the computer. All in all, the control setup reeks BAD.

Sound: "Ping....Ping....Ping..."..you get the idea. There's not much going on in this one. My favorite part was how the crowd will chant for your character when its match point in the final set. Pretty cool I have to say. Characters mumble too much to actually hear what they're saying, so I'm not sure about the voiceovers.

Entertainment/Gameplay: I was really into this one....for about half an hour. Then the repitition killed it. If you have a bunch of friends to play with, and can handle the absolutely horrid controls, you could have a party game here. There is Xbox Live competition as well if that interests you. The most annoying thing about this game is definitly the cheap-as-heck A.I. Most matches, they practically hand you the first set (assuming you have the default settings and are playing best of three. Also, the character Liu Ping is absurdly good 100% of the time..I guess that's why he's on the cover of the instruction book...) Then, look out. Just like fighting games do when you finally get your opponents life low and they haven't touched you the entire match, the stupid gorilla on the other side of the table turns into Pete Sampras just like that. You're up 9 to nothing one second, and the next, you lose 11-9. I can not stress enough the cheapness of the A.I. in this game. There were times when I was playing that every time I returned the ball to their side of the court, it "popped up", and they spiked it for an easy point. Not to mention some of the returns the A.I. manages are nothing short of laughable. There were times when I was literally laughing out loud at the A.I.'s ability to return spikes. But you will never return theirs. This game is frustration in a box no doubt. Play with friends, but don't play alone. Which, unfortunately, you will have to do if you want to unlock more than the THREE people that are available when you turn the game on.

I was really up for something different and once again Rockstar proved that they can mess up anything, even something as fundamental as Table Tennis. I just knew, back when I first heard they were going to make the game, it was going to suck. But as time went on, I decided maybe I was being too judgemental too early and I should give them a chance. I say here and now, with full confidence, that I will never again purchase a Rockstar product. Control and ridiculously unbalanced A.I. are the double-faults of this game. If you're really bored, and have played everything else, I could recommend this for a rental if you're looking for multiplayer. For a purchase, well, even at $40 you're getting ripped. I thought Rumble Roses was the biggest stinker so far for 360. But I may have been proven wrong right here with Table Tennis. This game scores decent for graphics and sound. That is it.