One of the most ridiculous, immature, entertaining and funniest games I have ever played.
In traditional Saints fashion, we get to create our own character. There are plenty of choices to be made here, but it's not that important - as everything can be changed at a plastic surgeon after the game starts. Some of the options we get are which race we want our character to be and what gender. Unfortunately, this time we cannot go somewhere in between like we could with SR2, and we just have to stick with male or female. Instead, however, we are given a "sex appeal" slider that enlarges certain parts of your character's body - depending on which gender was chosen (the rest should be pretty easy to figure out). There's no shortage of options to customize your character's face and body, though it does feel like there's slightly less of everything than there was in the game's predecessor - yet it's all adequate and still allows you to craft a unique-looking person… or shiny, metallic thing.
Once you are finished playing around with sliders in the "face" and "body" sections of the character creation menu, you can go on to "personality". Here we can select the main character's taunt & compliment (both of which can later be shown to NPCs in the game) and voice. There are three voice options for each sex, and then there's also the zombie - for those who want their character to answer everyone with moans and growls. What's interesting is that your choice here will have an effect on what your character will say to other people in the game during conversations… apart from the zombie, of course. Once you finish creating your character, you are thrown back into the game's wild opening sequence (consisting of action-packed gameplay and cutscenes) that just speeds through and doesn't slow down for the first one or two hours of gameplay. It's a very exciting way to start your adventure in Steelport.
That's right; the plot has the series' protagonists venture into a completely new city. After the Saints have taken complete control over Stillwater (both physically & commercially) in Saints Row 2, they have become celebrities and pop culture icons. They decide to rob a certain bank, not knowing that it is owned by the Syndicate - a powerful criminal organization that controls gang life in one way or another in most cities. Pierce, Shaundi and the Saints' boss (who is the player character) end up in the city of Steelport, the home of the Syndicate's three main gangs and leader. As they are stuck in a new location with their bank accounts hacked, they have to start from the bottom and work their way up to the top to avenge a fallen friend and take control. But, as always, they will cheat.
It is unfortunate then that after the first couple of hours the game slows down to an almost sluggish pace. It's good that the developers took their time to introduce newcomers to the basics of a Saints Row title, show them around the place and present the various activities that can be done - but it's a shame that it takes so long and those of you who played Saints Row 2 will likely find yourselves desperately wanting to get back in the action. Thankfully, the time the game takes to familiarize the player with its elements isn't that bad after all - thanks to its colourful characters (such as the pimp Zimos, whose spoken lines of dialogue are always auto-tuned; resulting in comical interactions between him and others). However, the pace is ramped up to an even higher level than it was at the beginning of the game once you reach a specific part of the main story. And once you reach that part, the game doesn't slow down once; it's a romp right up until the very end of the plot.
The missions past the game's introduction time are also exceptionally well designed, and this is where the game truly shines. There is a whole city open to freely explore with all sorts of optional activities to engage in, whilst the plot still offers the epic scripted events and set pieces of a linear title. Saints Row: The Third combines these two styles of gameplay almost flawlessly and leaves you with an absolutely awesome creation. Moreover, even though I'm not a fan of pop/techno/rap music, I felt that the game's use of songs from these genres was fantastic - it suited the events of each mission greatly and made some parts significantly more epic than they otherwise would have been (especially during that one part when you jump out of a helicopter and onto the roof of a penthouse, to Kanye West's "Power").
Like with most open world titles, your experience with this game doesn't have to end even long after you're done with its story; mostly thanks to the amount of customizable vehicles in the game and the numerous diversions available to the player. Some of the latter return from the previous game (such as: Tank Mayhem, where your goal is to cause damage to the environment and its inhabitants… using a tank; or Insurance Fraud, where you have to throw yourself in front of speeding vehicles to sustain as many injuries as possible before the time runs out). Then there are also some new activities, like Trail Blazing (a racing mini-game ripped straight from Tron), or my personal favourite: Professor Genki's S.E.R.C. (Super Ethical Reality Climax) - an obstacle course filled with deadly traps and mascots that are out to kill you. If these and many other diversions are not enough to occupy you for tens of hours, then you may want to check out "Whored Mode"… yes, that's right, W H O R E D, not the usual horde mode we are accustomed to in other games. Or even better: why not join a friend and start some chaos with him or her in the entire open world of the singleplayer game but with online, two-player co-op.
Alright, let's go over everything SR3 gives us:
GAMEPLAY - 9.5/10
The way the game is played is very similar to previous titles, though its new missions and madness to the max make everything even better & more fun.
STABILITY - 7.5/10
There are some occasional bugs which may cause you to restart a whole mission and some frame rate drops every now & then, however this is a mostly stable game.
STORY - 7.5/10
The plot and the characters are so over the top that it's their absurdity which makes them so awesome and entertaining to watch.
GRAPHICS - 8/10
The game's visuals aren't anything special considering what we've seen on the PC before, but they still look great and are a definite improvement over Saints Row 2.
SOUND - 8/10
Most of the tracks used in the game aren't my taste, but it's the way that they are used and add to the experience which makes it all sound so impressive.
LONGEVITY - 8.5/10
There is tons of stuff to do for everyone, though chances are that you have played Saints Row 2 and most stuff beyond the main missions may seem a bit too familiar.
So, in the end, is Saints Row: The Third better than its predecessor? Well, it's hard for me to say this considering the fact that I've spent over 200 hours on Saints Row 2 - but yes, this sequel is overall the more unique game that has finally found its true identity as the king of everything that is sexual in the video game world. It is also a generally better designed game, both technologically (especially when compared to Saints Row 2's bad PC port) and in terms of its mission & character design.
If you are bored of all the serious macho stuff, those apparently "realistic" shooters or dark role-playing games - you just want to sit and relax in front of a game that's fun like no other - then as long as you are not offended by profanity, violence and kinky sex, there is no better candidate for you than Saints Row: The Third… just don't go in expecting a piece of art or anything, because it's the exact opposite of that… in a good way.
OVERALL RATING - 8/10 (Impressive)