Tomb Raider - A new low in entertainment value

User Rating: 4 | Tomb Raider PC

Apparently its true, at GameSpot you get the best review money can buy. Square Enix had to pay someone a lot for the pusillanimous, pandering, suck-up, artsy-crafty, honey-dripping, simple-minded review posted by GameSpot with the nomination of Tomb Raider for Best PC Game of 2013. Let's face it, this was Tomb Raider in name only; a boring reincarnation that was easily the most disappointing game I have seen in years. It springs from nowhere, ignoring the history we have been told in earlier games about Lara, her Mom and Dad and how she got started as an adventuress. I have played EVERY Tomb Raider since the very first one, and while they generally vacillate between Good and Horrible, this one strikes a new low for combining all the elements of the ridiculous (e.g., rewards of interest only to Japanese antiquity collectors) and the sublime (like the truly fun zip-line rides) in one incoherent, poorly told story. In spite of graphics that come up to the reasonable norms of about 2010, this game has no intriguing content, little imagination, ragged and buggy game-play, mindless puzzles, buzz-killer side missions (the most thrilling is a mushroom hunt), a home-made GUI that defies conventional logic (they refused to buy Scaleform and do it right), special motion-control functions that almost never work...etc. The game accomplishes a marginal measure of "non-linearity" by the instant transport feature, but this is nothing new. The writing and design is purely and clearly the output of amateur Japanese story tellers working under enormous pressure at a financially troubled and failing company. I think gamers have come to expect big challenges, big risks, tough enemies and situations, and proportional rewards in terms of skill growth, weapon choices, cliff-hanging transitions. I expect huge size with many "interesting" environments and characters. All of that is missing from this sweet little gamey-poo. If you really try to stretch it out this game takes about 20 hours to play. (Not counting the days you spend rebooting from its endless crashes--if it crashes a GTX-680 it will crash anything.) That is very little entertainment when compared to the real games out there (Mass Effect, Crisis, Borderlands, etc. that can take 100s of hours to get through.) Basically, the entire game on the island is about equivalent to one chapter, level, or "world" in today's market of excellent games.

Cutting to the chase.

Pros: Lara is hot.

Cons: Lara needs a bath in every scene: (Or maybe that's why she's hot?)

Summary. If this wins anything it is surely not because serious gamers or players had a voice in the decision.