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The Elder Scrolls 6 Petition: Please Bethesda, Put This Character In The Game

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Do it for the people, Bethesda.

Dear Bethesda,

At E3 2018 you revealed that you're making Elder Scrolls VI, a new entry in the much loved Skyrim line of video game product. You showed us next to nothing, but everyone still lost their dang minds. And who could blame them? The *NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ACTUAL GAME* trailer gave fans a brief look at a world they have so much invested in. The rousing orchestral rendition of the Elder Scrolls theme conjured memories of their fondest times with the franchise: filling a room full of cheese wheels, talking to a dog, turning dragons into Macho Man Randy Savage.

What we do know about it comes from Todd Howard himself, and it's that it's probably going to be some time until the game is ready for us to play. Howard said it's "not coming anytime soon" and, "I don't even know what the world is going to be like when it comes out."

It might look more like Fallout if we're not careful, am I right folks?

Anyway, it's clear the game is still early in development, which means this is the perfect time for us, the gamers--the fans--to get our requests in ... Because that's definitely how game development works.

My request is a simple one and it involves including a character that has become critical to fantasy fiction. A figure that transcends intellectual properties and franchises to become part of the tapestry of the genre, as necessary as swords and shields, magic and mysticism, small cheese wheels and big cheese wheels. I am, of course, talking about the great and powerful Potion Seller.

For those who aren't keeping up with all the modern greats in the fantasy genre, Potion Seller is a character created by Justin Kuritzkes for his magnum opus, a seminal piece of fantasy fiction titled, "Double U, Double U, Double U Dot YouTube Dot Com Forward Slash Watch Question Mark V Equals R Underscore FQU4KzN7A." The beloved story focuses on a single conversation between a knight and a merchant selling potions.

Although the scale of the story may be small, what it depicts is still impactful. The knight, preparing to go into battle, asks for the Potion Seller's "strongest potions," to which the Potion Seller responds by rebuking his request. His potions, as it turns out, are too strong for the knight, according to the seller, and thus the knight would not be able to handle them.

The knight, exerting whatever authority he has, attempts to press on, demanding that the Potion Seller give him his "strongest potions" once again. "My strongest potions will kill you, traveler, you can't handle my strongest potions," he replies. In this moment, the message behind the story becomes clear. You see, in the eyes of the Potion Seller, the knight is just another person, a "traveler." Whatever accolades the knight has gathered in battle thus far are not important, for the seller, the power of his potions are all that matter and it is his responsibility to ensure that they are only given to those he has confidence in ... for their own good.

"YOU BETTER GO TO A SELLER THAT SELLS WEAKER POTIONS," says Potion Seller, attempting to make the knight see sense.

The knight, taken back by the Potion Sellers unwavering morals and values, arrogantly asserts himself once again. "I'm telling you right now," he begins, "I'm going into battle, and I need only your strongest potions." The arrogance of the knight becomes clear. This is a story about hubris and how it can be the undoing of even the most self-assured heroes.

"MY STRONGEST POTIONS WOULD KILL A DRAGON, LET ALONE A MAN," the Potion Seller clapeth back. "YOU NEED A SELLER, THAT SELLS WEAKER POTIONS ... because my potions ARE TOO STRONG." The knight's desperate pleas are cast aside, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE MY STRONGEST POTIONS. NO ONE CAN!!!!!!!! MY STRONGEST POTIONS ARE FIT FOR A BEAST LET ALONE A MAN."

In this moment, it becomes clear that "Double U, Double U, Double U Dot YouTube Dot Com Forward Slash Watch Question Mark V Equals R Underscore FQU4KzN7A" is also the story of how those that the masses would dismiss as a lowly member of society--a mere potion seller--can wield strength even greater than champions of the realm.

He may be branded "a rascal with no respect for knights" but, ultimately, the Potion Seller stuck to his convictions. He respected the power of his potions and, in the face of a would-be hero, he stuck up for himself, begging the question: Who was the real hero?

Answer: It's the Potion Seller
Answer: It's the Potion Seller

In The Elder Scrolls VI, whatever it may become, players will inevitably be cast as the hero and go on a journey to save the lands, untangle political turmoil, and become a legendary figure for the peoples of the lands to sing songs about and deify. But there's also an opportunity to make the little characters count, to remind adventurers that, while they may be on a quest to decide the fates of many, others have their own destinies, be it collecting wheels of cheese or choosing who to sell potions to.

And who better to remind people about this than arguably the most important representation of the little-guy-standing-up-for-himself fantasy archetype, the Potion Seller. He deserves to be in The Elder Scrolls VI. He is too important to fantasy fiction not to be. To that end, we at GameSpot have created a petition to urge Bethesda to reach out to acclaimed author Justin Kuritzkes and bring Potion Seller to The Elder Scrolls VI. Please sign and support this noble cause.

Thank you,

GameSpot's Very Online Staff Members

Got a news tip or want to contact us directly? Email news@gamespot.com


tamz

Tamoor Hussain

Tamoor Hussain is the Managing Editor of GameSpot. He has been covering the video game industry for a really long time, having worked in news, features, reviews, video, and more. He loves Bloodborne and other From Software titles, is partial to the stealth genre, and can hold his own in fighting games too. Fear the Old Blood.

The Elder Scrolls VI

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TEOL222

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This is about as civil as I can keep it when it comes to a conglomerate that has systematically for years now been shitting on a whole generations nostalgia and fond memories: Hopefully they wont be so retarded theyll put in something in the game to please 20 ppl who found some autist's fan stuff funny, while driving in the last nail in the coffin for all their players minus those 20 assburgergers. Saw someone mention "Elder Scrolls 76". Thats probably what its gonna be...

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jsprunk

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The name has since been changed to “The Elder Scrolls 76”, and yes, you will be able to build your own housing. (Disclaimer: Player housing may inexplicably disappear upon logout forcing the player to rebuild over and over and over again.)

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xjgunsx

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So many haters...

I think this is a great idea! Also, a great way to show love for the genre. The worst they could do is say no.

Furthermore, I've had several long conversations with people about what we'd like to see in the next ES. Rather than a petition for a single item in the game, there should be an entire website dedicated to letting gamers post their creative ideas for all the genres and maybe even ideas for new genres. This would let devs see more creative ideas that they could implement into their games or even throw their own twist on an idea or simply be an inspiring creative website.

I thoroughly enjoyed this and I will sign the petition sir!

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Xiricon

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Tamoor Hussain

I am your OG and I will be respected as such

Respect is earned not demanded, and I think you lost a lot of it with this article.

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rawkstar007

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Thanks for deleting my previous post. I’ve totally learned my lesson about posting unnecessary material as I’m sure you guys have.

As I was saying, you guys need to up your editing game. Big time. Like...it’s seriously bad if your gatekeeper is just waving everyone through. I’d suggest starting with two filter rules: If an article sounds like a blog post and/or if you feel you must disable a comment section for any piece before publishing, DO NOT PUBLISH IT.

There are more rules but that should get you started. Seriously, guys. Get your act together.

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saltymemesoup

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@rawkstar007: I think they just realize GS is a sinking ship.

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TEOL222

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@saltymemesoup: think they realized a long time ago, when they started doing game of thrones adds etc, shit that doesnt have anything to do with gaming... I remember at one point when the ending of the series was coming up, many of the "Latest game stories", as the section is called, were about GoT the series shit... Lets not also forget how buggy and unresponsive several of the sites functions are, on top of several game's pages missing certain buttons of functions. Which dont get added even if you make a post about it in bugs section of the forum. What a fucking shitshow, no wait shitspot! Wondering whats up with all the latest (bull)shit you dont really care about? Come down here to shitspot, we have everything you dont need.

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saltymemesoup

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@TEOL222: TRUE THAT

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BeefoTheBold

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Edited By BeefoTheBold

If you're going to ask Bethesda for things, ask them not to be shit anymore. Because that's what they currently are: shit.

They mailed in Fallout 76 so hard it almost broke the postal system, and they've completely abandoned their "cosmetic only" microtransaction promise.

Anyone still excited AT ALL about TES6 hasn't been paying attention the last couple of years. It's going to be a giant steaming pile.

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tainted0ne

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Can we start a petition to remove this from gamespot?

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amillionhp

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I am not familiar with this meme and i'm not any more interested in "the potion seller" after reading this article. I can confidently say that if this... "potion seller" gets included, he/she/it/whatever will be the first to go if modding tools are included in my version of the game. I feel i have to say that because given how annoying they were with flagged NPCs, the "potion seller" will be like the only unkillable merchant in the game. Basically anyone you actually want dead.

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Wretch1d

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But...why

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kgsg-19-2

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Well, I'll just say my original comment before I decided to edit it as I found it to be a bit over the top, it was far worse than this one which is me still thinking this is one long metaphor for a certain group of people.

Yea, no more of this crap please. Also, it's Elder Scrolls products, not "Skyrim product".

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thremon

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hope there's an anti petition >] cuz no i dont wanna any imbecil in elder scrolls

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RonThallsBalls

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LameSpot

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Aegis_Kleais

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I won't buy any Bethesda product until Todd Coward & Co. refund my Fallout 76 game or he lets me b*tchslap the taste out of his mouth. Til then, do whatever you want with TES.

With the blatant straight-face lying he and his cronies are capable of, we'll only have ourselves to blame when they release yet another buggy, broken, incomplete game that doesn't deliver on any of its promises. THAT, to me, is Bethesda's well-earned reputation.

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timthegem

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This idea is almost as batshit insane as Cinemassacre's Mike Matei believing that the Joker character in Mortal Kombat 11 is modeled after him. Some people need to unplug for a while.

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petersonsam

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Edited By petersonsam

This is news? Gamespot has really gone downhill the last few years. I used to come to this website for Video Game Industry news. Now all I get on the news page is the location of the potion seller in Fortnite or Destiny 2 or whatever stupid dance is popular with the 10 year olds.

My friends all have 10 year old kids and they would probably love the potion seller video. Is your editorial staff 10 years old to have approved this article?

Do I need to find an adult video game site since Gamespot appears to be catering to 10 year olds now.

Plus, the article mentions the Skyrim line of video games. Evidently this was written by a 10 year old because the whole series is Elder Scrolls. Skyrim is the 5th game.

Seriously, Gamespot, grow up and give us some actual industry news not garbage posts like this.

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TEOL222

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@petersonsam:Let me know if you find one thats not so pedo its main thing has become sucking off 10 year olds for their clicks! Also I liked how many times you put in "10 year olds", really drives the point through, even @druzyb finally managed to get it after a couple of times.

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druzyb

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@TEOL222: please keep me out of such comments as that.

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druzyb

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@petersonsam: Can you say "10 year old" one more time.

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Xshinobi

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I just hope that they improve the combat system so that it doesn't just feel like a glorified version of whack-a-mole.

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DeadManRollin

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Am I the only one or does this post sound totally irrelevant and moronic?

What the crack is the "potion seller"? Am I supposed to know this character? Do I give a dime?

I want to play ES VI, and I want information on the game. I don't want some clickbate article.

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TEOL222

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@DeadManRollin: No were supposed to be deathly afraid we arent keeping up with "the scene" and therefore hurringly trying to get in on the "meme" before anyone figures out we arent in on the latest "joke" from some random 10 year old autist on the net...

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DeadManRollin

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Edited By DeadManRollin

@TEOL222: lol man that was brutal.

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Peter_Eater

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How can I dislike this post, and report this... "Staff member"?

This article gave me cancer.

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Litchie

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Edited By Litchie  Online

....o...k?

Maybe they could add something funny instead?

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Alsebra

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"It might look more like Fallout if we're not careful, am I right folks?"

Bull****. If 76 had more time in development and beta testing (for the bugs), it would've been less of a pile of crap than it is...and the same goes for *any* game. Fans can't complain that a developer is releasing a game on their timeframe and then turn around and blast the game for not being tested because of their complaints...look at the vitriol directed towards Blizzard for the supposed bait-and-switch that the fans thought they pulled at BlizzCon...

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TEOL222

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@alsebra: blizzard is still a thing? Like it still exists? You guys still havent figured out cardgames can actually be done irl? No need for an advanced computer simulation lol. Or that diablo mobile is a port from an old game thats considered an all time classic by anyone with any experience? Did you know world of warcraft was 20 years ago and the only ones playing the new classic are the same ppl who played the shit 20 years ago?

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ahpuck

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April fools? If so, you really got me!!

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locke90

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Edited By locke90

Id rather an easter egg based on the gonne (thats how its spelt) from sir terry pratchetts discworld series appear as a dwemer artifact than a poorly thought out and written dribble.

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ScreamingSatori

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@locke90: I think you mean drivel, not dribble.

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locke90

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@screamingsatori: nope only because something is dribbling out and its not palatable enough to be called drivel.

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deactivated-611a5e2c32f34

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Sommmmebody left their computer on at the annual october office party. That, or everything I just read is supposed to make sense.

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Robbie23

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I'm confused in regards to what I just saw in this article.

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JimmyFraska

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SHit article, though the video by itself is absolutely hilarious and the guy is really funny

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cyberpunk_2077

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Someone was bored and needed to post something. What a load of crap lol.

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deactivated-5f2b4872031c2

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I was hoping this was about Serana. Instead it's about...well, I don't really know. What I do know is that it's a huge waste of my time. Bravo, GameSpot.

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ScreamingSatori

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Are you guys serious? This "Potion Seller" character sounds incredibly stupid. Why would he sell potions that no humanoid can drink? Who are his customers? How does he stay in business? If this character somehow does appear in the game, I will not hesitate to kill him.

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Brettsky128

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I'd sign a petition to not have this character in the game.

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Litchie

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Litchie  Online

@Brettsky128: Where's the thumbs up button when I need it?

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jyml8582

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Can't tell if trolling or high.

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monkyby87

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How in the **** do shit articles like this make onto the website?

Expect to hear from my lawyers; I want my 3 minutes of time back.

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AdmirableAckbar

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So this is journalism nowadays.

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juiceair

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Huh?

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