My mom restricts my play time and I'm 19

My mom is nedlessly worrying about me playing video games. I'm 19 and still going to school and I don't have any problems with my grades or school work. I don't have any problems socializing at school and I have about 2 or 3 good friends. I usually spend my weekends doing homework and on rare cases go out to hang out with my friends since we live quite far from each other. I play video games after school and on weekends. I usually play on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursday and the weekend, and I play about 3-4 hours those days and maybe sometimes 5 weekends. My mom is calling me an addicts and tells me that 2 hours of video games is too much. I dont know how to convince her that 2 or 3 hours of video games is not that much.

When I was your age my father also thought he could tell me what to do.

I threw my house keys at him and said I am out to live with a friend.

He came and got me the next day and stopped bossing me around.

So yeah you got to threaten to move out! lol

When I was 17 my parents didn't care what I did. I had no curfew and came and went as I pleased. I didn't come home for days at a time. I was usually out partying. If I wasn't home they didn't have to feed me it was a win win.

Mine did when I moved back home for a few months at 26 :D

I think some people of that generation grew up being told that watching too much TV was bad for them.

Mums never stop telling you what to do. They mean well. Look at moving out after you finish school. It will hurt financially in the short term, but you need your independence.

@caroctis: Though moving out might be logical in the long-term if that keeps up. However seems like your parent is just very misinformed on what computer games are.

As some read the news articles (mostly old stuff) that claimed games are a "evil" medium that will either turn someone violent, or get over addicted to the point of physical damage/ death. But reality is it's no different from television, music, or reading. The influence is only as daunting as the person lets it become.

Nineteen is quite an old age to still be getting this kind of lecture though. So I would just recommend sitting down with your parent and letting them know why you play games and the joy you get playing them when not doing the activities of socialising and study.

If anything, ask if your Mother would like to join you on a certain game. Share the experinece, it's such a big thing now gaming that surely you could find something both of you could enjoy.

Show her what a game can be like, and how 'fun' they can be.

At 19, you better be doing your share of housework and yard work if you lived at my home, in addition to grades and school work. If you did, then I'd be more forgiving of video games.

It's her house, it's her rules unless you pay for rent. You want out? Move out.

She wants what is best for you. Humor her, be helpful around the house, and play video games when you can and try to reason with her.

Invite her for a co op games, always work!

Well, unless she is irrationally angry when she brings it up, prove to her you are not addicted. You know what addicts cannot do? Stop the behavior! Do you game on pc? If so, kind of hard to unplug the computer if you use it for school. But if you game on a console, unplug it and put it on the kitchen table or something for a week. This should be enough to show her you can control yourself. Especially so if your grades are good. My mom was the same way with me when I was in HS. I got good grades, went out a lot with friends, did a lot of extra curriculars and sports, and yet she still talked about the gaming.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions, I think that when I'm able to, I'll move out but until then, I'll try to prove that it's not an addiction. It's true that she's always reading articles on internet telling her that it's mostly bad and that you use it to flee from the "real world". I do housework quite often so I don't think that it's one of the issues. I'll try showing her that it's not worse than reading or watching television. Thank you for all for your advice !!!

Get a new mom.

Your welcome, and best of luck.

If she finds it as a way of escape from the real world. That's not how it works for everyone who plays games. Though few do fall under that category.

Others (not sure if you are but humor me) play the games for the mechanical depth that challenges the reactions of making quick decisions on the fly. If anything this helps for the kind of work I do for a living at the very least. And continues to help me think outside-the-box. An example everyone will know for this is the best selling game of all time Tetris.

Gaming being anti-social is a dinosaur argument now, the gaming industry is bigger than Hollywood and for good reason_

Sounds like shes addicted to reading shitty articles. Tell her you're worried about her and plan an intervention.

@drrollinstein: hahahaha good idea!

If she watches tv a lot sit down with her and tell her you're concerned about her addiction.

@caroctis: Maybe grow up and get out of the house. Your 19 and bitching about this? Your an adult. She doesn't need to explain herself to you. As an adult, you live in her house at her generosity. Maybe she doesn't like you using so much power out of the wall. Do you pay the electric bill? Maybe she just thinks there should be a limit, and you as a fortunate beneficiary of free rent, have to live by the rules of the house. That's the thing...when you live in somebody's house, you are expected to live by their rules. The are not expected to have to explain those rules to you.

Move out. Act like the grown up you are.

@demi0227_basic: Your response didn't seem very "grown-up" do you even pay your own bills?

How much do you think powering a gaming device cost to an electrical bill? Not sure if you/ yourself know anything about paying for a house/ oblivious to electrical costings; or come from a magical-place in which billing is handled differently to the real world?

But what do I know. So let me break down the maths.

Average Electric Bill of mine for a home using television, PS4, and P.C. uses less than 5% on my monitor for electrical appliances. Gaming electrical equipment use an average of 80-150W, while a television uses 30-40W. That's nothing dood!

Now compare it to kitchen equipment, lights, and etc. Let's put this in simple terms. A kettle uses an average of 2200-3000W, Microwave 600-1500W, hair dryer 1000W, Electric shower 7000-10,500W.

So before you tell people to grow up and pay for a >whole< electric bill for playing on a gaming system_ Look at your own immaturity and ignorance.

Well you do have options here.... move out..... accept it.... go outside.... make some friends..... two hours of gaming a day should be fine yes?

I actually think hillelslovak was pretty spot on with the "proving her wrong" thing and i suspect the more he pushes the "issue", the more she feels its a problem.

I think he made a perfectly acceptable adult response. In fact i think its the response most parents would have. This now grown man is living with his parents, at what seems to be a rent free cost, without a job and his complaint is that he cant play more than 2 hours a day. And mind you, he's coming on to a forum to complain about this and ask for ideas on how to change this instead of accepting the position he is in. This is something i'd expect from a younger teen, not someone nearly 20.

U wanna make your own rules then u gotta move out.

wow such a rebel, look at him... his parents won't let him play video games all day.

Aw, man! Now I have to tell some random internet person whether I pay my bills or not? Shoot! I need to justify and explain my real life to this random kid from the net! Thanks for your feedback...I'll get right on it.

This guy gets it. What a mix of ages on these forums these days, I guess? It cracks me up seeing kids bitch about their parents leisure restrictions from time to time. It's hilarious, right? lol...what good problems to have.

Im curious what this guy thinks he is going to be doing when he hits the work force. After college and at the beginning of my career i spent maybe six years doing 70 hour weeks and i'd be lucky if i could play games for 2 hours a week, let alone a day. It seems that his mother is attempting to prepare him for the real world and he just wants no part of it.

If he was saying that his mother would not let him play video games at all, i could have a bit of empathy and some... not much, but some, understanding. People do have to have their outlets, their enjoyment in life... i get it, and i support that. But apparently we're now talking about bitching because she wont let him play more than 2 hours a day. Which also brings me to this whole thing of why is he not acting and being responsible like a "normal" 19 year old? You dont have your own tv and system in your room? Why is your mom scheduling you this way? Do we have a job? Its just... man, this is something id expect to hear from my 13 year old, who apparently takes his responsibilities more seriously than this guy.

@demi0227_basic: Classic.

Couldn't counter argue my post so instead plays the "beat it kid" card. Coming from the person who thinks playing computer games really beefs up the bills, lol.

Now what @kod posted I'm in agreement with. I, and many even stated earlier moving out should be the best option. However, I'm not the ignorant one who doesn't have a clue how an electrical bill works, and yet beats down on OP just for playing games at a Parents house. Which was the entire point to my reply.

Your post is beyond pointless. It's one big rant of on-top of the already suggested 'move out' statement many have already told the OP. Which isn't helpful, at all. But that wasn't enough apparently. Going the extra mile and state how childish OP is when you yourself are beyond immaturity is laughable.

If you're trying to troII the boards? May I recommend you "Git Gud" and learn how to manage your bills properly instead of giving advice on a subject you're clueless about_

Will you help me? Manage my bills? Please? I needz to learnz how to "gitting gud" at some stuff. Please teach me!!!

I could be wrong on this but i didnt get the impression that he was focusing so much on how much energy was used, rather that its not his and he's simply not contributing so why expect any kind of unreasonable requests or options.

Im not sure if that's his best option, if i could have stayed at home while going to college i would have gone that route myself and it probably would have been better. And im not going to fault someone for doing what is best for their future or family. He just seems to have zero priorities in order and next to zero responsibilities and this one small limitation requested of him, should be no issue at all but instead its something of major to concern to him.

Its just such a weird situation and topic. When i first came to it i was expecting a jr high kid and to tell him that his parents did not sound unreasonable and to simply suck it up and prove he can earn it. But it turned out to be a 19 year old in college. Which has really thrown me off.

@kod: I'm not going to call you wrong, however from what I read of the post it was clear @demi0227_basic wanted to make OP feel bad for how much it simply costs to play games in someone else's house (amongst other things).

It's a large part of his first rant. And that's what my reply was focused on. It's also worth noting I just don't like it when someone comes in and completely rips into a persons thread when not provoked. And the thread itself is just asking for advise, from one gamer to many. It's not a open-door to cyber-bullies!

zero responsibilities

You should read more of the thread then dood, OP does more than sit and play games. It's made clear through the page.

OP didn't say anything negative to @demi0227_basic, and frankly should have selected his words better if he didn't want to come across as a jackass_

Thanks much!

@kod got it right. Your mistake is that, somewhere along the line, you mistook a possible concept (a mother potentially caring about her electric bill) for something else entirely...which would be how you got to the point that I somehow don't understand measurements of energy. How you got there...I don't care to find out, to be honest.

Don't be so easily offended. A 19 year old man, whom lives with his parents, is upset that they have a rule. Why they have the rule? I don't know. No context was given to me about it. However, there are many reasonable issues a parent may have for limiting their child's (even if that child is an adult) exposure to particular leisure activities. My comment to the op was blunt, but I feel accurate, of what a reasonable answer would be. Don't complain if your' going to continue living there. Or bring more context to other users so we can provide any potential feedback.

I stand by my original post; he can move out and not worry about it...or put up with it and attempt negotiations with his very nice parents to gain what he wants. There's really no other solutions to this issue.

@demi0227_basic: problem is that I don't know where you live, but I live in a country where it's very difficult for a student to get a job and to find a place to live. I live in Switzerland, Geneva where everything is expensive. Trust me, if I could move out, I would. I don't expect you to fully understand my situation, my biggest complain is that my mother treats me like I'm 13. I am very aware that I'm living with my parent at 19, and I'm not happy about it. I do everything that I can at the moment to help at home and have good grades. I'm simply tired of my mom complaining and demonising a hobby that I have. I'm sorry if i offended you in anyway. You seem angry.

Nope. Not angry. I just think it's a hilarious situation. A grown man's mommy won't let him play video games, so he asks strangers on the internet for advice on convincing her to let him play more.

The whole thing is just...well...a joke, to me. I'm not angry at all. It's a good problem to have, I guess. You could be looking for food/warmth/shelter, rather than more permission from mommy on your leisure time.

@demi0227_basic: my problem is not that she won't let me play, it's that she thinks I'm going to get addicted to it because she sees video games as a bad thing, and I just want to try to make her understand that it's not. And I'm not a grown "man", I'm female.

First of all, don't listen to what the people hear are saying, there's is nothing to be embarrassed about by living at your parents house at 19.

Fact is, moving out is hard, now more than ever. Housing is getting so much more expensive, so unless you know someone else in a similar situation to you, who also wishes to move out, and you can get somewhere together, chances are you probably won't be able to afford to do it anyway.

As for the situation itself, it's tough. You're an adult, and want to be free to make your own choices, nothing wrong with that, but at the same time while you're a guest at your parents house it's their rules. Remember, once you hit adulthood, your parents are no longer required by law to keep you.

The only suggestion I can make, is look and see if you can get a part time job for the days you're not in school. Then talk to your Mom, tell her that you want to start paying your share, but in return you want to make your own decisions for how your free time is spent. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll just have to accept your Mom's decision.

Addiction is a finicky thing. Anything can be addictive. Food, tv, sex, drugs, etc. Games as well. While I'm not pretending to know what your mom's reasons, I would agree that there's potential for a young person to not aspire to much in their life left to a lifestyle full of leisure. I'm not saying that's what's up in your case; just saying there's room for reasonable restrictions for those activities (I generally have my kids have a limit too, just to make sure they have to do things OTHER than play video games).

Alas...congrats on your sex! The world needs more female gamers that play things other than little phone games. I apologize if my comments about a stereotypical "gamer" didn't fit in your case. Lastly, good luck to you in your negotiations with your mom, and with your life in general!

(PS: At 19, I didn't have time to play many games either...I was too busy partying/getting laid)

@demi0227_basic:

My comment to the op was blunt, but I feel accurate, of what a reasonable answer would be. Don't complain if your' going to continue living there. Or bring more context to other users so we can provide any potential feedback.

And that's in which we disagree! Your comment wasn't "blunt" or "reasonable". You spend a good 10% at least of the original post complaining, and another 30% speculating the cost of gaming from an electrical perspective.

Maybe grow up and get out of the house. Your 19 and bitching about this?

Maybe she doesn't like you using so much power out of the wall. Do you pay the electric bill? Maybe she just thinks there should be a limit, and you as a fortunate beneficiary of free rent

Your mistake is that, somewhere along the line, you mistook a possible concept (a mother potentially caring about her electric bill) for something else entirely..

Didn't think I misunderstood at all. Quotes don't lie. But perhaps you just didn't select your words carefully before posting on the thread? You know "too busy partying/getting laid" lol

But whatever. Stopped caring awhile ago, at this point I'm just having fun. And OP seems she can take care of her own hatemail_

Nowhere in those quotes do I spend any time speculating electrical costs. I make an observation that gaming pulls power out of the wall. I made an observation that adults may care about the power (for financial/environmental/other reasons). I think most people would find my comment blunt. I also think it was reasonable.

You need to take a Philosophy class and learn how to structure an argument. You are seeing things that aren't there. There's rules to logic.

Lastly...I'm glad you don't care. Why should you? You seem really upset. I'm glad she can take care of her hate mail. However...I haven't seen any hatemail involved in this post, so what does that have to do anything? You're so much fun! What can you mess up on next? ;)

@demi0227_basic: This'll have to be my last one, as it's taking up too much of someone else's thread_

Nowhere in those quotes do I spend any time speculating electrical costs

I quoted you speculating, do you know what speculation is?

'forming of a theory or conjecture without firm evidence'

Thanks for the lol's

Good times. What theory was I making? That using electrical components, which gather their power through electrical outlets, pull power out of those outlets?

I think that's a good idea. It's probably pretty sound.

You think I was trying to guess how MUCH power comes out. You think I was trying to "form a theory or conjecture without firm evidence." See...I wasn't even forming a theory. Computers/consoles +tv/monitor usage = power being used. Some may/may not=care about power usage. There...that's the mathematical, logical, statement I made. There's no speculation there. Because it's just a fact claim. If those components use power, and the power comes through the walls of our homes, that theory is correct. I didn't even make it. The physics of electromagnetism was there before I was born. So I didn't need to speculate or conject anything. See? There's your mistake. HAHYAHA. You're a moron. Do it again. ;)

Carotics:

The problem is that you live in your mother's house and are still supported by her.

I think it's better to first get a job or some way to earn money. Maybe if you at least in part contribute for the rent, food, utilities, your mother wouldn't forbid you playing games anymore.

Or if you can fully become financially independent from your mother, it's much better to pack up your things and move

Start snorting blow and bringing home strippers. She'll be begging you to go back to playing video games. Oh and it gets worse. Just wait until you see how she looks at you when you're in your late 30s and still playing video games.

I think as an adult, you may talk with your mom about it. Since gaming doesn't influence your daily life and you totally have the ability to avoid yourself from being too addicted into it.

Well, its pretty normal for most moms out there with that kind of attitude. You probably be thankful that you still have your mom with you because others are very unfortunate enough to lost their moms at an early age. Yes I agree that you are already in the right age and you already want to be independent in your own ways but you must also think of the fact that you are living in one roof and you must share with the household works. Maybe she wants you to be responsible enough to do a more adult thing like cleaning the house, washing your clothes or even do fixing the garage or other things that needs you to work on. I'm guessing your mother would be very happy that you help her in ways she wanted you to be at the age of 19. After its done already then that's the right time for you to play video games and other stuffs even for how many hours you want. Well, that's just my opinion though. I hope you can read this.

Move out.

Not sure why you at 19 are still living at home? you should either be out on your own or be at uni/college.

@Jacanuk: like I said, I live in another country, and the school system is a bit different from the US. I'm in my last year that is considered being like high school. And getting an appartement in Geneva is VERY expensive since mostly rich people live here.

I think your Mom is overreacting and is just not educated enough on what a real video game addict looks like.

Point her to a resource like the one below so she can get a better understanding because from what I've read you definitely don't fit the description.

http://thegizmolife.com/video-game-addiction/

legally he is an adult but u have to realize society is way different even when you an adult they still even want your parents income for certain reasons in college... when i was 18-20 i still felt young u cant just wake up the next day feeling different that goes for most childhoods

I mean tbh it's her house her rules. Maybe you should get a portable system like 3ds, Vita, PSP, Switch, etc. I'm almost 30 and I work like a lot so I'm rarely at home therefore I don't have much time to game because I have kids, household maintenance, cooking dinner every night and stuff like that. I use my handheld while I'm out to get my gaming fix because I rarely am able to sit down and play Persona 5 for 4+ hours like I want to lol

Owner of your roof rules the roost, always remember that.

Sucks to be you OP. My parents only continue to talk to me like a child until I move out and start acting like a trained adult.