The Girlfriend Dilemma

I remember the old game ad where a photo on the desk of this guy and his girlfriend, and it says, "Sam, it's either me or the games". Then you see a half eaten pizza slice and the guy is deeply involved in a PC game. lol

Sometimes, I feel like I have to make that choice, and with a girlfriend, the gaming is sacrificed. I am just so frustrated because I have almost zero time to game. I managed to squeeze in a mere 10 minutes of gaming last night on Dragon Age. I work all day, and my evening just evaporates. I get home at 5:30 or 6, go to the gym, cook supper, watch tv, and my girlfiend likes to talk on the phone 1-2 hours now. She actually lives out of town which I thought would afford me more of my own personal time.

Not so. When she visits, it means an overnight stay, and I have to spend hours cleaning the place, scrubbing the bathroom. While I really enjoy the visits, I find myself almost looking more forward to the weekends where she doesn't come. Then I can have a bit of my old life back where I spend all weekend being lazy and gaming.

Now she is coming this weekend, then her mom is coming to visit next week so I have to go meet her, then a 3 day road trip the next week, and then she wants to spend the weekend down here for my birthday. I feel almost smothered and now wondering if I have to make a choice between the girl or gaming. Any one else have this dilemma?

Does she like games at all? It doesn't sound like it... You shouldn't have to hide your games or the lifestyle you want. It doesn't sound to me like you're really comfortable in this relationship. It's always better to talk about this kind of concern. If you just let the phone calls and the "smothering" annoy you and never talk about it, your frustration will just build out of control! You should discuss things with her (if you haven't already) and see what she says. I don't know how serious you guys are or anything, but this kind of problem is not one you want to let go. Feeling "smothered" or like you have no time for yourself will destroy your relationship very quickly.

As far as giving up your girlfriend for gaming... Gaming is a hobby. If she doesn't let you have hobbies, that's not cool, but honestly, if she's that type of girl, why would you be with her? Just talk to her because this all sounds like a small problem that could get blown out of proportion, eh?

On the other hand if you choose games this is what is going to happen :P

Nope, but it's an easy fix. Ditch the girl.muthsera666

If you don't feel you can commit your time to your girlfriend then you need to dump her. She deserves better than to be put in second place by a hobby. In my opinion, that's not much of a dilemma. A meaningful relationship with someone else or video games. To me, that's absolutely not a hard choice. I sometimes have very little time to play video games, but that's all party of growing up and having a responsibility and a family. My advice is don't string the girl along making her thing you really care for her when you hate taking from your hobby time and devoting it to the relationship.Canvas_Of_Flesh

[QUOTE="Canvas_Of_Flesh"]If you don't feel you can commit your time to your girlfriend then you need to dump her. She deserves better than to be put in second place by a hobby. In my opinion, that's not much of a dilemma. A meaningful relationship with someone else or video games. To me, that's absolutely not a hard choice. I sometimes have very little time to play video games, but that's all party of growing up and having a responsibility and a family. My advice is don't string the girl along making her thing you really care for her when you hate taking from your hobby time and devoting it to the relationship.Greyfeld

[QUOTE="Canvas_Of_Flesh"]If you don't feel you can commit your time to your girlfriend then you need to dump her. She deserves better than to be put in second place by a hobby. In my opinion, that's not much of a dilemma. A meaningful relationship with someone else or video games. To me, that's absolutely not a hard choice. I sometimes have very little time to play video games, but that's all party of growing up and having a responsibility and a family. My advice is don't string the girl along making her thing you really care for her when you hate taking from your hobby time and devoting it to the relationship.Greyfeld

The problem is one with a simple fix. You spend too much time on sleeping, eating, and watching TV. You can have a bigger lunch at work and cut out that TV (theres nothing good on except In Plain Sight anyway) and give up one hour of sleep each night(buy a coffee pot). BOOM. Your time is more in tune with the life you want to lead and you get to keep your girlfriend and hobby.

Answer 1: You and your girl are looking for different things in a relationship. Break up. You'll have more time and she can find someone more interested in a commitment. This isn't a criticism of you, it's just honestly how it sounds. She's looking for something serious and long term, you're not.

Answer 2: Stop watching TV and play video games instead. Tell your girlfriend you don't want to talk to her every night and play video games on those off nights. Oh, and just keep your house clean in general. If you have to spend HOURS cleaning before she arrives then I'm concerned about your general hygine practises.

Answer 3: Multiplayer games. You're clearly not socially inept so the idea of sharing this hobby with your friends shouldn't be new to you. Really, this is probably the most rewarding answer to your problem.

But for how you've presented it, it just sounds like you need to go your seperate ways. If she's travelling into town to see you, calling you every night, introducing you to her mother then she's very serious about the relationship and is looking for it to go serious places. If you're looking forward to her leaving your house so you can play video games again then this is not two compatible relationship ideas. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I missed something or you left out a detail but that's the message I'm receiving.

No matter what course you take, you're really discussing this with the wrong people. You need to be talking to her about this, not us. Good luck finding a safe way to word "I don't want to talk to you tonight so I can play video games." It's not easy. I know. I've been there.

You either need to find a girl THAT ACTUALLY HAS INTERESTS, ASIDE FROM

MAKEUP, SHOPPINGAND MAKING LOUD NOISES IN BED, so that you both have private time.

Better yet, FIND A GIRL WITH YOUR INTERESTS. Or just

ditch the one you are with and settle for some left hand time.

MAKING LOUD NOISES IN BED,depend3ncy

Meh, that will be enough for most people :P

Many couples are breaking up just because that is not working out when everything else is fine.

MAKING LOUD NOISES IN BEDdepend3ncy

You either need to find a girl THAT ACTUALLY HAS INTERESTS, ASIDE FROM

MAKEUP, SHOPPINGAND MAKING LOUD NOISES IN BED, so that you both have private time.

Better yet, FIND A GIRL WITH YOUR INTERESTS. Or just

ditch the one you are with and settle for some left hand time.

depend3ncy

Ithink (moderate) shopping, (moderate) make up and making loudnoise in bed are great hobbies.

Today you renounce gaming for her, tomorrow you will renounce your friends, the day after you will renounce your bank account. How about finding a girl who respects you and doesn't give you ultimatums?Black_Knight_00

[QUOTE="Black_Knight_00"]Today you renounce gaming for her, tomorrow you will renounce your friends, the day after you will renounce your bank account. How about finding a girl who respects you and doesn't give you ultimatums?muthsera666