@megane: Well it doesn't take a lot, but when you've never used one before and you're in a rush.. it was terrible any ways and safe to say I didn't see her again. However you cannot let bad experiences put you off, you just have to keep at it, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and Women aren't some perfect Godly entity. It's more than likely that they'll know as little as you when you're young, I've met like 2 girls who could give a good BJ, most cannot. I remember trying to get out of one because it felt crap, I tried making an excuse, then she started crying saying "Am i Shit?".... like OMGGGGG, I just had to get out of there, so weird.
One of my buddies said it best. Back in the day we would hit clubs every weekend. If you're not afraid to be shot down then you'll find yourself in the company of a lady. If you ask ten girls to go on a date nine may say no, but one may just be interested. If your ego can handle rejection you'll end up finding someone who will say yes.
Hey where's the TC? Ask them if they want to be more than friends or say maybe we should get to know each other better or ask if you and her could be a nice couple. Be direct to them.
A relationship can cause quite a bit of drama. Happy and passionate times often come with bitter fights and arguments. IMO you're not missing much unless you feel that you really found the right person in your life.
My first advice would be don't waste your time trying to pursue sex with "random" chicks. What good is it if it's really meaningless and it's not with someone whom you care about and who cares about you? Too many bad things can come out of that: hurt feelings, strained friendships, diseases.
Don't feel ashamed of your virginity or feel that you have to get rid of it by a certain age. I'm older than you and I never had sex or dated or anything like that. Hey Time's 2013 Person of the Year is a virgin in his seventies:
Sarah Swafford says that the problem in many relationships is that people go from the acquaintance stage straight to dating. She says people should get to know each other as friends first and spend a lot of times in groups of friends before they move onto dating and then into courtship. I don't know if she's right or not, but what she says does seem reasonable.
You admit that you are a virgin and never being a serious relationship, but yet you are giving advice to someone asking about sex and dating?
Someone mentioned putting women on a pedestal, but I'd also advise against putting sex on a pedestal.
I don't like when people say this. People have been saying that to me since I was 17, I'm 25 now and nothing has happened and I'm in the same boat as TC. I'm going to be 35 and will people say "don't worry your not 40 yet".
I don't like when people say this. People have been saying that to me since I was 17, I'm 25 now and nothing has happened and I'm in the same boat as TC. I'm going to be 35 and will people say "don't worry your not 40 yet".
Do you have a career? Do you know what you want to do with your life?
If yes, then go ahead, start worrying. But romantic relationships shouldn't be a priority until you figure out who YOU are and what YOU want to do with your life.
I was fortunate to find someone while I was figuring these things out and she was entirely supportive of whatever decisions I made... but not all romantic partners are like this, and may not want to wait for you to find out who you are while they are dating you. The 20's are when people in a modern world figure out what they want to do with their lives. 30's are when they start making these things happen.
Just know who you are, love who you are and find someone that can love you for who you are. It really isn't that hard once all three of those things line up. A large number of my high school friends and peers still aren't even in romantic relationships. A couple years ago they just finished getting their educations and lives together. It isn't something you can just expect to fall from the sky and into your lap.
Should he worry? Probably not, but I don't know a single man who would say "I wish I didn't have sex at 19". If they have any regret about sex at that age is often that they didn't have enough of it.
Should he worry? Probably not, but I don't know a single man who would say "I wish I didn't have sex at 19". If they have any regret about sex at that age is often that they didn't have enough of it.
Sex is something entirely different from a romantic relationship. If he wants one without the other, then there are very easy ways of finding it, or even paying for it. If he wants "meaningful" sex, then there is some more work involved.
Should he worry? Probably not, but I don't know a single man who would say "I wish I didn't have sex at 19". If they have any regret about sex at that age is often that they didn't have enough of it.
Sex is something entirely different from a romantic relationship. If he wants one without the other, then there are very easy ways of finding it, or even paying for it. If he wants "meaningful" sex, then there is some more work involved.
From the initial post, it sounds like it's just sex he's interested in. And these "very easy ways of finding sex"? I'm intrigued, please do elaborate.
You said you have friends, but do you have a social group that you hang out with on a consistent basis? My problem in high school and college (I slept with a girl for the first time when I was 24) was, despite having friends, not having a social group in which I could meet women and talk to women in a casual setting. You get women by talking to women. You might not be too shy to talk to girls, but you still have to be good at flirting (to let them know you're interested) and say the right things. And most women are going to turn you down for one reason or another, so a wide social circle in which you can meet lots of women will really help. If one turns you down, you move on to the next (don't chase women who aren't interested, this was another one of my mistakes). Guys who get lots of girls do so by meeting lots of girls, and flirting with lots of girls. You're still 19, you're still in college, you're not doomed.
Also, like others have said, you have to make the first move. Ask them out. If you never ask them out, then you'll never get them. If they turn you down, then try not to let it get to you. Move on to the next girl. But you have to make the first move.
1. Get involved with extra curricular clubs, or activities. I shit you not, I joined a badminton club & to prevent stacked teams they randomly pair you. I was put with the fucking hottest girl in the club. I got to play badminton in pairs most of the time missing the birdy because i was staring at her ass. You'll meet a ton of people this way.
2. This is what my shy, kinda nerdy friend did who was awkward most of the time with girls. Machine gun approach. While out and about or at a bar he would talk to every single girl he saw. Until... one would stick with him. He'd be shooting out hellos, whats up, all night some would walk past eventually one would stop. He ended up marrying one so it does work :P You know what happens with this approach. You'll learn (hopefully) over time what works & what doesn't, what to say etc.
3. I say this to students I meet who get hired for the summer where I work and see them badly addicted to online gaming. 10 years from now you're level in WOW or whatever game you're currently playing won't mean jack shit. What will matter are your school marks & what connections you make with people. After school you'll need a job & what helps much more then your diploma is WHO YOU KNOW. Sometimes thats all that matters. Establish your network now you'll thank me later.
theres nothing wrong with being a virgin. Dont stamp your V card to the first girl that opens her legs. I did that and now i regret it deeply.
Why is that? Do you have an itch that won't go away?
nope but she is a bad person. I cant give my first time to a good women now. Maybe its not important to you, but im a romantic at heart.
I feel ya bro. There is this one girl throwing herself at me at the moment. And I know she is the type of girl who would open her legs to anyone, but I'm not into that. Especially since I think I am hopelessly in love with another girl who moved to a different State who've I've never met and could very well be a catfish...
You said you have friends, but do you have a social group that you hang out with on a consistent basis? My problem in high school and college (I slept with a girl for the first time when I was 24) was, despite having friends, not having a social group in which I could meet women and talk to women in a casual setting. You get women by talking to women. You might not be too shy to talk to girls, but you still have to be good at flirting (to let them know you're interested) and say the right things. And most women are going to turn you down for one reason or another, so a wide social circle in which you can meet lots of women will really help. If one turns you down, you move on to the next (don't chase women who aren't interested, this was another one of my mistakes). Guys who get lots of girls do so by meeting lots of girls, and flirting with lots of girls. You're still 19, you're still in college, you're not doomed.
I'm kinda in the same place(22yo university student). While I do have a small circle of friends with whom I have a great time, they are all guys. No females exist in my social life so I don't even have the chance to make a move unless I decide to start approaching random girls and introducing myself out of the blue.
I'm kinda in the same place(22yo university student). While I do have a small circle of friends with whom I have a great time, they are all guys. No females exist in my social life so I don't even have the chance to make a move unless I decide to start approaching random girls and introducing myself out of the blue.
Which can be pretty difficult. Honestly, I really believe this is the biggest problem shared by most guys who struggle to find girlfriends. I was only asking out like 1 or 2 girls per year from age 18-22, and without really getting to know them in casual settings. It's hard to get girls like that. You've got to find ways to meet people, through clubs or intramural sports or campus activities, etc.
Some guys get lucky, and other guys make an effort.
Have you made an effort? If social activites aren't a normal part of your routine, that would limit your opportunity to meet women. If you took time out of the day to go outside or do some activity where there are other women, eventually you'll meet someone on the off chance. Hell - I've met a chick 5 years younger than me at a Taco Time, and I was just there to pick up some food. (Eventually I slept with her a week or two later)
There's also online dating, if you haven't considered that. If you're attractive at all, it's easy to meet attractive women on there. The women on those sites are usually less inclined to meeting guys in social situations so you might have luck on there.
Really, there are always attractive women out there just looking for a guy to keep them company. You can even find them online.
I wouldn't strike up conversations with random women in random situations. Instead consider something like joining a Crossfit club, or some group fitness activity. Be nice and talkative. Don't be weird and creepy. You'll meet people. One of those people might be a girl who's interested in you.
Typically people who make these types of threads put little to no effort into finding girls. They hope that just doing their day-to-day will be enough to encounter "the one". First off, nix the idea of "the one". There are lots of women out there - never get focused on just one unless you're certain. Some guys get lucky and don't have to try hard to meet their girlfriend, but unfortunately not everyone gets lucky.
I used to have a bizarre success rate in gay clubs, sounds pretty counter intuitive but it turns out there are a huge quantity of either bisexual, or straight but liberal women frequenting those places. Plus they are so much more fun than normal clubs. All the fun without that alpha male chest beating bullshit.
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