7 Scientific Reason A Zombie Outbreak Would Fail Quickly (Cracked.com)

I've always wondered why we have so many zombie contingency plan threads or threads where we post pictures of weapons we're going to use against zombies. This is the article that tells you why you should just stay inside.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Bloodaxe726

Hehe, I like that logic. :P

EDIT: Are you sure it wasn't because hell filled up though?

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Bloodaxe726

That's probably the best answer for this thread.

I love how most of the comment section is a bunch of nerds arguing that it could happen.

The article has piqued my interest in zombie pornography. Maybe a new wave of smarter zombies will spread their infection through sexual means as opposed to biting. Can you imagine zombie rapists?

This is exactly why I love Cracked so much - that article was both funny and interesting. I for one am convinced. :P

The article has piqued my interest in zombie pornography. Maybe a new wave of smarter zombies will spread their infection through sexual means as opposed to biting. Can you imagine zombie rapists?

entropyecho

The article has piqued my interest in zombie pornography. Maybe a new wave of smarter zombies will spread their infection through sexual means as opposed to biting. Can you imagine zombie rapists?

entropyecho

The zombie survival guide pretty much has a counter argument for each of these :P

not to mention if the movies (or real life) have taught us anything thing. is that the worst things are the humans. Unless the whole world lets go of the petty differances and joins together (honastly this might never happen, humans are to stubborn) then an apocolypes is possible.

[QUOTE="entropyecho"]

The article has piqued my interest in zombie pornography. Maybe a new wave of smarter zombies will spread their infection through sexual means as opposed to biting. Can you imagine zombie rapists?

xaos

Ew?

The zombie survival guide pretty much has a counter argument for each of these :P

not to mention if the movies (or real life) have taught us anything thing. is that the worst things are the humans. Unless the whole world lets go of the petty differances and joins together (honastly this might never happen, humans are to stubborn) then an apocolypes is possible.

legend26

I think that the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing would be a pretty good motivator to get humans to let go of their differences until the zombies are dead. :P Nothing unites a group of humans like a foreign invader.

[QUOTE="legend26"]

The zombie survival guide pretty much has a counter argument for each of these :P

not to mention if the movies (or real life) have taught us anything thing. is that the worst things are the humans. Unless the whole world lets go of the petty differances and joins together (honastly this might never happen, humans are to stubborn) then an apocolypes is possible.

GabuEx

I think that the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing would be a pretty good motivator to get humans to let go of their differences until the zombies are dead. :P Nothing unites a group of humans like a foreign invader.

wow...a thread about zombie threads...what better way to waste precious seconds of my life?

When has science ever done anything for anybody?guynamedbilly

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Bloodaxe726

:lol:

one of the better cracked articles in a while

This is exactly why I love Cracked so much - that article was both funny and interesting. I for one am convinced. :P

GabuEx

I know, it's a perfect mix of funny and actually informative.

▲ Wow, cool article. I never thought of that stuff. Makes sleeping at night easier. ▲

Funny article, but I have to admit I am pretty much done with zombies for a while. They are just boring now and most of the films are the same. The only zombie films that have ever done anything vaguely interesting with zombies are Dead Girl, Dead and Buried, and Pontypool. Zombies are not very interesting monsters.

"But let's say there is an outbreak, like if one zombie was able to bite 30 people in the crowd at an Insane Clown Posse concert before they figured out it wasn't part of the show."

:lol: After the whole Tia Tequila thing, this would not surprise me.

I don't really agree with some of the reasons. Specifically the biting one, since biting isn't usually the only way a zombie virus transfers in most series.

It also seems to assume the decaying traditional zombies and disregards the newer idea of zombies from movies like 28 days later, the remake of dawn of the dead, and the L4D games.

[QUOTE="guynamedbilly"]When has science ever done anything for anybody?gubrushadow

Not to mention antibiotics, hand sanitizer, computers, and body armor.

All in all, science has us covered for the zombies.

yea the idea of zombie apocalipse not very realistic but i still waiting for some zombies xD

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Bloodaxe726

[QUOTE="Bloodaxe726"]

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

metallica_fan42

[QUOTE="guynamedbilly"]When has science ever done anything for anybody?gubrushadow

Good article, but I'm going to have to go with Brooks on this one. Its not so much the zombie factor that a zombie outbreak could happen, its the human factor. Read World War Z and you'll see what I mean.

Obviously the author of that article hasn't read either "The Zombie Survival Guide" or "World War Z." There is no "accepted" type of zombie, since they are fiction... if Brooks' zombies are the ones that do in fact come back to unlife, then this article will serve no purpose whatsoever.

The article has piqued my interest in zombie pornography. Maybe a new wave of smarter zombies will spread their infection through sexual means as opposed to biting. Can you imagine zombie rapists?

entropyecho

I thought I was the only person that ever thought of it.

Pfft, like I'm going to trust scientific reasons, science will be the cause of the zombie outbreak!

Bloodaxe726

Silly article. Too many assumptions and using facts that really wouldn't alter the scenario. I can hardly call it scientific. Ignorant sods like the authors are the people we'll be putting lead into once the outbreak occurs.

Would these rules apply to fast zombie's like the ones in I Am Legend?

The heat and cold would still get to that type of zombie, but seeing as they sort of move in packs, it would be harder for their natural predators to kill them. And that type of virus is airborne isn't it? :?

Silly article. Too many assumptions and using facts that really wouldn't alter the scenario. I can hardly call it scientific. Ignorant sods like the authors are the people we'll be putting lead into once the outbreak occurs.

coolbeans90

Besides I found the article quite funny, and there are actually some good points in there.

Would these rules apply to fast zombie's like the ones in I Am Legend?

The heat and cold would still get to that type of zombie, but seeing as they sort of move in packs, it would be harder for their natural predators to kill them. And that type of virus is airborne isn't it? :?

NiteLights

My thoughts exactly. I think the natural predator point was beyond absurd.

[QUOTE="coolbeans90"]

Silly article. Too many assumptions and using facts that really wouldn't alter the scenario. I can hardly call it scientific. Ignorant sods like the authors are the people we'll be putting lead into once the outbreak occurs.

NiteLights

Besides I found the article quite funny, and there are actually some good points in there.

I found the denial of the zombie apocalypse to be heretical. There were FEW good points. Natural barriers. That was about it.

[QUOTE="NiteLights"]

[QUOTE="coolbeans90"]

Silly article. Too many assumptions and using facts that really wouldn't alter the scenario. I can hardly call it scientific. Ignorant sods like the authors are the people we'll be putting lead into once the outbreak occurs.

coolbeans90

Besides I found the article quite funny, and there are actually some good points in there.

I found the denial of the zombie apocalypse to be heretical. There were FEW good points. Natural barriers. That was about it.

You're currently reminding me of this one time I wrote a story about dragons and a guy on a site gave it a poor review for an "inaccurate depiction of dragons". :P

[QUOTE="coolbeans90"]

[QUOTE="NiteLights"] Dude, never take CRACKED's articles too seriously. :P

Besides I found the article quite funny, and there are actually some good points in there.

GabuEx

I found the denial of the zombie apocalypse to be heretical. There were FEW good points. Natural barriers. That was about it.

You're currently reminding me of this one time I wrote a story about dragons and a guy on a site gave it a poor review for an "inaccurate depiction of dragons". :P

Dragons are fictional. Subject to the fancies of the imagination. Therein lies the difference. But seriously, they claimed that the zombie apocalypse would be short lived. I try not to get upset about these sorts of inflammatory articles but, good God. Some people.