A girl keeps asking me to hang out with her....how do I turn her down nicely?

This girl at my school who's kind of weird keeps texting me asking me to go out for lunch with her or have dinner with her family or go on a walk with her and stuff like that. Whenever I ask her who else would be coming with us, she says, "No one, just us." So far I've done a good job at making excuses not to go with her and have avoided it completely, and she has stopped asking me for a while, but just today she asked me again to go on a walk with her this weekend. I'm trying to come up with excuses not to, and I told her, "Umm, I'll let you know Friday, because I might have to do stuff this weekend," because I know she'll ask me again and I need more time to come up with yet another excuse.

Not only that, but she just bombards me with texts, asking me the most random things, and we have these incredibly long text conversations on her behalf. At school, she ALWAYS says hi to me when I walk by, and sometimes even nudges my backpack from behind to get my attention. I'm fine being friends with her but I really don't want to hang out with her alone. Even my friends think it's a bad idea to hang out with her alone because of her eccentricities, which is why I'm pretty sure it might make me look bad if I actually did. I even remember being at a party at my friend's house and she followed me around everywhere, and once even asked a friend of mine who was sitting next to me to "sit somewhere else" so she could "sit next to me."

I don't know whether she has some kind of crush on me or what, but how can I turn her down or what excuses can I make without hurting her feelings? What can I do that doesn't hurt her that prevents her from asking me out all the time?

She's definitely crushin' on you

maybe she is trying to say your fat or something. Always wanting to go on walks

Stop taking showers. She'll lose interest.

How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.Dylan_11

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

go once, act like a geetard, be mean or something, problem solved.

Your girlfriend/mum/dog is jealous.

I've come to find out that brutal honesty is the best way to go. Both for you, and the other person.

Just tell her I'm not interested in doing anything with you at the moment.

or... you could lie and make up some elaborate excuse on how you don't want to get close to her since you just broke up with some other girl or something of this nature.

I don't reccomend the lie.

Or you could give it a try and see how good her sandwhiches are. If not dump her in a blaze of fury.

In all seriousness this is not serious.

Gotta

1. Ask her is she has a crush on you( Probably)
2. Proceed to tell her that you'd rather stay friends and don't see her like that
3. ???
4. PROFIT!!

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="Dylan_11"]How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.Dylan_11

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

Explore. Endure. Enjoy.

I seriously just gagged...I'm gonna pretend like I didn't read that.

I've come to find out that brutal honesty is the best way to go. Both for you, and the other person.

microsoft4life

I was in a similar situation as you TC and this was what I did.

[spoiler] For the most part it worked. [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="Dylan_11"]How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.Tigerman950

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

If she's pretty, make out with her, but then tell her you thought about it for a while and decided it wouldn't be best to get in a serious relationship right now.

If she's pretty, make out with her, but then tell her you thought about it for a while and decided it wouldn't be best to get in a serious relationship right now.

LovePotionNo9

She's not necessarily pretty, but not particularly bad-looking either.

But make out with her? Never in a million years.

[QUOTE="LovePotionNo9"]

If she's pretty, make out with her, but then tell her you thought about it for a while and decided it wouldn't be best to get in a serious relationship right now.

Tigerman950

She's not necessarily pretty, but not particularly bad-looking either.

But make out with her? Never in a million years.

Get familiar with that.

Gotta

1. Ask her is she has a crush on you( Probably)
2. Proceed to tell her that you'd rather stay friends and don't see her like that
3. ???
4. PROFIT!!

Bardock47

lawwmwaaaoo

This girl at my school who's kind of weird keeps texting me asking me to go out for lunch with her or have dinner with her family or go on a walk with her and stuff like that. Whenever I ask her who else would be coming with us, she says, "No one, just us." So far I've done a good job at making excuses not to go with her and have avoided it completely, and she has stopped asking me for a while, but just today she asked me again to go on a walk with her this weekend. I'm trying to come up with excuses not to, and I told her, "Umm, I'll let you know Friday, because I might have to do stuff this weekend," because I know she'll ask me again and I need more time to come up with yet another excuse.

Not only that, but she just bombards me with texts, asking me the most random things, and we have these incredibly long text conversations on her behalf. At school, she ALWAYS says hi to me when I walk by, and sometimes even nudges my backpack from behind to get my attention. I'm fine being friends with her but I really don't want to hang out with her alone. Even my friends think it's a bad idea to hang out with her alone because of her eccentricities, which is why I'm pretty sure it might make me look bad if I actually did. I even remember being at a party at my friend's house and she followed me around everywhere, and once even asked a friend of mine who was sitting next to me to "sit somewhere else" so she could "sit next to me."

I don't know whether she has some kind of crush on me or what, but how can I turn her down or what excuses can I make without hurting her feelings? What can I do that doesn't hurt her that prevents her from asking me out all the time?

Tigerman950

I know this isn't your intention, but you're being pretty damn mean to her. By constantly making excuses instead of just plain telling her you're not interested, you're just leading her on.

Just politely tell her that you don't want to do it, and that it's not gonna happen. Use the whole "it's not you, it's me" line if you think it'll help, but you ought to stop giving her a reason to think that it's ever gonna happen. Your excuses basically amount to "not now, but we'll do that later", and that's just a lie. If you really care about her as a friend, then you've gotta nicely tell her that it ain't happening.

And then if she still persists, that gives you justification to start being mean about it.

But you've gotta stop leading her on, because that's just sort of cruel.

I've come to find out that brutal honesty is the best way to go. Both for you, and the other person.

microsoft4life

Well, maybe BRUTAL honesty isn't the best way to start. Just regular honesty should be good enough at first, no reason to get BRUTAL right off the bat.

But yeah...if regular honesty isn't working, then BRUTAL honesty is sort of the only option left.

I seriously just gagged...I'm gonna pretend like I didn't read that.

Tigerman950

Come on now...you're not even a LITTLE bit turned on by weird women? :?

I had a friend who did this too me... We were really good friends, but when we started High School she started crushin on me, informing me she was free this weekend e.t.c

She also had a friend that I really liked... She liked me too... I asked Her out, and now the annoying one never talks to me...

:( :| :)

Im not sure which Emoticon dexcribes that.

I still wanted to be friends with her, but she couldnt get it through her head that just cuz we were friends for 7 years doesent me she can think she owns me...

now she wont talk to my gf either

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

I seriously just gagged...I'm gonna pretend like I didn't read that.

MrGeezer

Come on now...you're not even a LITTLE bit turned on by weird women? :?

Nope, not this one.

So you don't like the chick only because she is different? No offense but that comes off as incredibly shallow :S.

Anyways, hang out with her but give obvious signals you aren't interested. Making excuses won't stop someone who is determined while telling her nicely you aren't interested will go a lot further.

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="Dylan_11"]How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.MgamerBD

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

Yeah, give it a try. Just "go for a walk". If she tries anything, just stop her and say you're not interested. If nothing happens, at the end of the walk just say this "this was nice, but I'm not interested in getting to know you this way. i mean to say I'm not interested in anything more than friendship. i'm sorry about this and if you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's cool." I understand that was a poorly formed sentence, but you get the drift; lay her down easy.

bottomline is you want to be a nice, reasonable person here (which I'm surey ou are). Be polite, tactful and direct; it's just the right thing to do. and on the plus side, people will remember you for being a nice guy and that's also a good thing.

So you don't like the chick only because she is different? No offense but that comes off as incredibly shallow :S.

Anyways, hang out with her but give obvious signals you aren't interested. Making excuses won't stop someone who is determined while telling her nicely you aren't interested will go a lot further.

Whiteblade999

I'm not shallow for not having feelings for someone whose personality I'm not attracted to. I'm still fine with being friends but with this friend particularly, I'm not interested in being anything more than friends with her.

And the reason I keep making excuses is so that she eventually figures out that I'm not interested with hanging out with her.

Dont touch her shoulder

Gotta

1. Ask her is she has a crush on you( Probably)
2. Proceed to tell her that you'd rather stay friends and don't see her like that
3. ???
4. PROFIT!!

Bardock47

So she's ugly?bobaban

I wouldn't say so. If anything, I guess she's an all right-looking Vietnamese girl (her race having nothing to do with it). I guess her hair is decent, and I guess she can be kind of pretty when she does her make up right. But all of those details aside, I'm really not interested in going out with her alone, let alone using her for sex like a lot of people here seem to have in mind...*shudder*

[QUOTE="Dylan_11"]How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.Tigerman950

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

I know this isn't your intention, but you're being pretty damn mean to her. By constantly making excuses instead of just plain telling her you're not interested, you're just leading her on.

Just politely tell her that you don't want to do it, and that it's not gonna happen. Use the whole "it's not you, it's me" line if you think it'll help, but you ought to stop giving her a reason to think that it's ever gonna happen. Your excuses basically amount to "not now, but we'll do that later", and that's just a lie. If you really care about her as a friend, then you've gotta nicely tell her that it ain't happening.

And then if she still persists, that gives you justification to start being mean about it.

But you've gotta stop leading her on, because that's just sort of cruel.

MrGeezer

^ This.
Though it's worth mentioning that you're acting pretty... low to even bring up "what people will think of me" as a reason.
Sounds like it's either an excuse, or an insecurity of yours you should work on.

[QUOTE="bobaban"]So she's ugly?Tigerman950

I wouldn't say so. If anything, I guess she's an all right-looking Vietnamese girl (her race having nothing to do with it). I guess her hair is decent, and I guess she can be kind of pretty when she does her make up right. But all of those details aside, I'm really not interested in going out with her alone, let alone using her for sex like a lot of people here seem to have in mind...*shudder*

[QUOTE="bobaban"]So she's ugly?Tigerman950

I wouldn't say so. If anything, I guess she's an all right-looking Vietnamese girl (her race having nothing to do with it). I guess her hair is decent, and I guess she can be kind of pretty when she does her make up right. But all of those details aside, I'm really not interested in going out with her alone, let alone using her for sex like a lot of people here seem to have in mind...*shudder*

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="bobaban"]So she's ugly?bobaban

I wouldn't say so. If anything, I guess she's an all right-looking Vietnamese girl (her race having nothing to do with it). I guess her hair is decent, and I guess she can be kind of pretty when she does her make up right. But all of those details aside, I'm really not interested in going out with her alone, let alone using her for sex like a lot of people here seem to have in mind...*shudder*

TC, grow some balls and just be upfront with her. I seriously have no respect for people who string along someone like that.

You obviously have gotten the hint that she likes you, yet you won't let her know how you feel. That is just crap seeing as she obviously hasn't gotten the hint that you don't feel the same.

On the plus side, the way you have handled this will likely make her really hate you when you let her down. I recently had a girl string me along for a month and a half before finally rejecting me for the second date. I lost all respect for her after that because of the way she handled the situation...

Without hurting her feelings? You'll have a better chance of avoiding that if you tell her up front that you don't like her....oh wait.

Seriously though, stop making excuses. She's obviously not taking the hint if she keeps asking. As long as you're nice about it and say no privately, then she shouldn't be too upset.

I had a similar situation back in high school. She cornered me at a dance and wanted me to slow dance with her, so I made a scene and pretended to jump out a window instead of dance with her... Yeah, I was a total jerk. After that though, she left me alone.

Depends. She sounds like a cIass 5 clinger, so unless she's at least a 7/10 I say just tell her upfront that you don't see her the same way she sees you. If however shes a 7-10/10 then feel free to smash.ff7fan2

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="Dylan_11"]How old are you TC? What does she look like? These things need to be answered.Dylan_11

I'm a senior in high school. She's not ugly or anything, she's just really weird.

Explore. Endure. Enjoy.