Am I An Abusive Boyfriend?

last night me and my girl were aguring about something completely meaningless and I finally gave up because I didn't particularly care for what we were arguing about, but she kept pestering me and pestering me. finally the conversation ends and she says to me "youre so weak". now i never laid a finger on her before what she said struck a nerve in me this time. I got in her face and pushed her into the wall (we were standing at the side of my house). She said I hurt her arm and she was fighting back tears. I said sorry and she forgave me but i felt bad the rest of the night. I didnt mean to hurt her i just got pissed and lost my head for a minute

does this incidient make me an abusive boyfriend:?

No.

But you have issues. As long as you don't have a history of violence, I'm sure you aren't an abusive person. We all lose control. Just don't do it again, or you will be an abusive boyfriend.

No, you are not an abusive boyfriend when considering the story above. Everyone has a breaking point. I am sure had you been insulting her she may have slapped you at some point....would that make her an abusinve girlfriend?

However, I do not condone pushing her.

You're not abusive...yet.

You need to exercise self-control more.

Well I wouldn't say you're abusive, just short tempered. There was no need to push your girlfriend at all, she was just messing with you and you took it too far. If it were one of the guys that would have been different, but physically pushing around a girl (much less your girlfriend) is never okay in my opinion.jamejame

No, it does not.

You made a mistake

You apologized for it (i.e. you recognized you had done something wrong)

And, while verbal abuse rarely warrants physical violence, your girlfriend had it coming to her. Besides, all you did was give her a little push.

Women, eh? Why do we let them get under our skin so much? I can tolerate badmouting from everyone, been called a fatass, a loser, etc...but when a girlfriend does it (or, as Fruedian as it sounds, my Mom does it) I lose my freaking mind. Ive blacked out before, thankfully no one got hurt but it was frightening.

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

[QUOTE="jamejame"]Well I wouldn't say you're abusive, just short tempered. There was no need to push your girlfriend at all, she was just messing with you and you took it too far. If it were one of the guys that would have been different, but physically pushing around a girl (much less your girlfriend) is never okay in my opinion.clayron

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

Uxal

Wow....I did expect to read that.

[QUOTE="Uxal"]

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

clayron

Wow....I did expect to read that.

What you mean you expected? I am not violent dude at all. In fact this was the only time and last time I ever hit a girl. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way to bite your tongue in those situations.

My boyfriend touched me like that, I'd kill his ass.Theokhoth

[QUOTE="clayron"][QUOTE="jamejame"]Well I wouldn't say you're abusive, just short tempered. There was no need to push your girlfriend at all, she was just messing with you and you took it too far. If it were one of the guys that would have been different, but physically pushing around a girl (much less your girlfriend) is never okay in my opinion.jamejame

[QUOTE="clayron"][QUOTE="Uxal"]

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

Uxal

Wow....I did expect to read that.

What you mean you expected? I am not violent dude at all. In fact this was the only time and last time I ever hit a girl. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way to bite your tongue in those situations.

I mean that when I started reading I thought maybe you had pushed her, or yelled, or something but when I read you punched her I laughed because it caught me completely offgaurd.

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

Uxal

holy crap man. was it a closed fist or an open palm?

and thinking back there was another time i got a little physical with my girlfriend. it was at school and i forgot what we were talking about but i pinned her against a locker and threatened to break up with her. not really a big deal but I just remebered this now :?

Technically yes but in my opinion, you're sensitive.Mr_Leonis

This.

Try to patch things up with her by doing something you both like to do; show her a nice time and just forget about what happened. She'll be grateful you're trying hard to show you're sorry and that you don't want your relationship to go under.

[QUOTE="Uxal"]

Happens to the best of us. I am usually super calm dude. But one day i came home from work. Which consisted of shoveling concrete for 7 hours although it pays well. My girlfriend was screaming at me because of some carpet and after 2 hours I finally lost my patience and punched her in the face. She was ok after some stitches and we remained good friends after. But I regret I lost control. Trust me when I say never hit a girl. Hit a wall but don't hit a girl. I learned the hard way but it was a lesson learnt anyway.

Boogie_J

holy crap man. was it a closed fist or an open palm?

and thinking back there was another time i got a little physical with my girlfriend. it was at school and i forgot what we were talking about but i pinned her against a locker and threatened to break up with her. not really a big deal but I just remebered this now :?

Deep down I am sure where both sorry for what we did. Sometimes you exceed your limits and part of being a good partner is knowing when to walk a way when your reaching your limit. But it was closed fist and I threw a lot of force into it. My girlfriend had braces for a short time and my fist broke them. I payed for the repairs and as I said we stayed friends but things are never the same again.

I voted for the last option (i can relate).

listen up, you better be really careful. it doesn't matter if it happens again or not. Your girlfriend can call the cops on your for pushing her in the past.

Then you go to jail. Yes, the law is designed to protect women (to the extreme). I know from ALMOST first hand. someone really close to me had to go to jail because of the exact same thing. He was on the verge of getting the incident on his record and not his wife, but the STATE was going to press charges.

don't piss off your girlfriend. and try to the uttermost to not let that happen AGAIN WHATSOEVER. GET THE heck out of there if you have to. you guys can argue over the phone if you have to.

don't lay a finger on her.

ask any lawyer, law officer, etc..

No.

But you have issues. As long as you don't have a history of violence, I'm sure you aren't an abusive person. We all lose control. Just don't do it again, or you will be an abusive boyfriend.

vidplayer8

Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up. There are some messed up things happening in the world; if you would be allowed to slap your woman around a little she may learn how to shut up and take care of her children, to raise them properly. Women don't seem to be doing very well at that.vlin1108

:shock:

Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up..vlin1108

Um, no?

[QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up..Theokhoth

Um, no?

Theokoth can you believe this guy?

Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up. There are some messed up things happening in the world; if you would be allowed to slap your woman around a little she may learn how to shut up and take care of her children, to raise them properly. Women don't seem to be doing very well at that.vlin1108

[QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up..Theokhoth

Um, no?

Parents could slap their children a bit if they didn't shut up. Why not women? They aren't children anymore, so I'm givin' it two thumbs up because of that. They are the ones who should learn to practice self-restraint.

[QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up. There are some messed up things happening in the world; if you would be allowed to slap your woman around a little she may learn how to shut up and take care of her children, to raise them properly. Women don't seem to be doing very well at that.remmbermytitans

I've never been to America myself, but I've heard you can go to jail for slapping a woman once. It seems true enough; do you live there? I don't have anything against Americans, just for the record.

You only pushed her? Man I would have slapped that SnowHo to next century.

BTW to the post above me, you didn't answer the other persons question. You haven't had a girlfriend. Of and if you are mentally challenged my post is not serious.

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up..vlin1108

Um, no?

Parents could slap their children a bit if they didn't shut up. Why not women? They aren't children anymore, so I'm givin' it two thumbs up because of that. They are the ones who should learn to practice self-restraint.

No, you need to practice self-restraint. There is so much wrong with what you are saying. 1. Children should never be hit across the face, they should be disciplined but the face is a sensitive area. 2. You condone striking women. What would you do if a man hit your mother because she was talking? 3. How can you expect someone to have self-restraint if you always haul off and slap people. 4. What gives you the right to harm another person?

[QUOTE="remmbermytitans"][QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up. There are some messed up things happening in the world; if you would be allowed to slap your woman around a little she may learn how to shut up and take care of her children, to raise them properly. Women don't seem to be doing very well at that.vlin1108

I've never been to America myself, but I've heard you can go to jail for slapping a woman once. It seems true enough; do you live there? I don't have anything against Americans, just for the record.

I don't get why people are saying its okay if it only happens once. Sure people lose their cool but its never, and I mean never okay to hurt a girl because she is arguing with you. If she was trying to physically hurt you fine, but she wasn't. I'm sorry to say this but I voted to the option of you being a dirtbag.

Let me put it another way. What would you think if you saw someone do that to your mom or sister? I'm not a violent person but I know if I saw something like that happen to my sister or mom the guy would be in serious trouble. I've had girlfriends in the past that made me extremely angry, but instead of pushing/hitting I just chose to walk away.

[QUOTE="vlin1108"]Hitting a woman is okay if she can't shut up. There are some messed up things happening in the world; if you would be allowed to slap your woman around a little she may learn how to shut up and take care of her children, to raise them properly. Women don't seem to be doing very well at that.clayron

:shock:

I don't get why people are saying its okay if it only happens once. Sure people lose their cool but its never, and I mean never okay to hurt a girl because she is arguing with you. If she was trying to physically hurt you fine, but she wasn't. I'm sorry to say this but I voted to the option of you being a dirtbag.

Let me put it another way. What would you think if you saw someone do that to your mom or sister? I'm not a violent person but I know if I saw something like that happen to my sister or mom the guy would be in serious trouble. I've had girlfriends in the past that made me extremely angry, but instead of pushing/hitting I just chose to walk away.

bigdrew172