Anyone else largely prefer water over toilet paper?

Have you noticed Africans and Indians, maybe East Asians, wetting paper towels and taking them into the toilet stalls?

I wiped thoroughly, continued my work and, after all the exercise two hours later, found that my butthole was all smeared again. Didn't get on my fabric, but it might've and is gross anyway. I've already been cleaning myself with water down there at home for a few years (and I squat on top of the toilet at home too, as nature/evolution intended). I wipe a few times and then normally finish cleaning in the bathtub. Being out in public still proved troublesome, however. Since I bring my water bottle everywhere, I have tried wetting the toilet paper. But that just makes it disintegrate as I wipe. You have to get at the source. Unless you get IN THERE, it's only gonna keep pulsing out.

My new process is to squirt the water from the bottle onto my right index and middle fingers, dig in, rinse my hand and dry it with toilet paper. The result? My butthole remains clean through high activity, physical work, even until my next break two hours later.

Westerners think themselves civilized for having toilet paper. They rely so much of it that when a pandemic hits it's the most important item; the store shelves are instantly emptied. The truth is that toilet paper is largely ineffective and western toilet customs are disgusting. At least Europeans have plenty of bidets. But Americans are almost universally comfortable walking around with moist poop between their cheeks, because having it on the fingers that they're gonna wash with soap anyway is icky but having it in their sweaty butt is somehow not.

Try eating more fibre.

Or less. Experiment.

Also, how are you squatting on top of the toilet? Like, standing on the seat? The mind boggles.

Exactly what it sounds like. Place feet on the seat and crouch down. These toilets are made to carry 600 pound Americans. They won't break.

@warm_gun: Must make for a satisfying sploosh when you're on target.

I'm seeing two issues here:

1) Trousers come off, shoes go back on to allow for purchase. Would not want to perform that in a public toilet for fear of soggy socks.

2) Trousers round ankles. Danger of tripping or trouser-hammock touchdown complications.

I'm all about learning new skills, so any guidance is appreciated.

No one actively thinks this, as far as I know. In fact, I was sort of under the impression that the rest of the world thought of "Westerners" as backwards for not using bidets.

It's also amazing how many Americans are just freaked out by bidets. I've had to tell multiple people that they're not enemas, they just rinse water down your butt crack. Less invasive than just washing your ass in the shower every day (which I hope everyone does).

I say this as an American, btw.

With that said, between using your hand and using paper, yes, I'd argue paper is much more civilized than using your hand and "just washing it after".

You might want to consider a change in diet, eat more produce and whole grains. I'm generally good after one or two wipes, and do one extra just in case.

Also, are you morbidly obese, or suffer from an injury that makes reaching back/under there difficult? That tends to make wiping a bit tougher.

This sounds incredibly unhygienic for multiple reasons.

What reasons? Bottle's in my left hand, I clean with the right. You will get shit particles on the door knob/lock anyway.

You might want to consider a change in diet, eat more produce and whole grains. I'm generally good after one or two wipes, and do one extra just in case.

Also, are you morbidly obese, or suffer from an injury that makes reaching back/under there difficult? That tends to make wiping a bit tougher.

But how are you two hours later? Or do you have a job where you just sit? I can wipe myself clean with toilet paper too, but you still have to get at the source, the bit that didn't come out, because it will pulse out as you exercise.

No, I'm not fat. About 135 pounds, 5' 7".

There's a fairly large difference in having actual shit on your hand and touching a doorknob, and having used toilet paper and (theoretically) having tiny particles of feces by indirect contact. In the former, you're more or less directly applying a bit of poo to the doorknob or latch; in the latter, you're just indirectly grazing some particles, of which any bacteria and viruses are likely in such small amounts it is not super gross.

To be clear: it made it sound like you are wiping your ass with your hand, then rinsing your hand (with drinkign water, no less...) into the toilet? Is that what you are actually doing?

As for the second part, no, I'm very active at my job. 10 hour days, on my feet for about 8 of them, walking 4+ miles each day. No issues.

You make it sound like the act of moving is forcing little bits of poop out of your body...is this true? This sound again like a fiber issue. Does your poop come out like toothpaste? Or nice nuggets?

I thought you meant like using a washlet. I use a washlet. Clean and no hassle.

I don't like a wet ass, either externally in or around my anus.

Like blue tissue paper, makes me think of hospitals.

That is abnormal under normal circumstances.

Might want to see a doctor about that, now that I've read it a second time.

What is your diet like, on average?

Wetting paper towels? I thought THOSE people cleaned their back end with their hands and that's why they eat food with the other hand and such.

No, I'm talking about poop that's still inside (now closer to the exit because you've passed your stool) and becomes juicy as you move around and sweat. It doesn't get on the fabric, but you find it as you wipe again. It's not weird and my diet is not in question.

Yes, I stick my wet fingers inside, then rinse them with my water bottle, then wipe them, rinse again, wipe again and then proceed carefully until I'm at the sink. After the first and second times at work, I worried that it was dirty again, because it started to feel moist, but when I checked two hours later (both times) I found only sweat. This is the way.

At this point I just sort of have to assume you're trolling, because there is just so much wrong with this whole thing it's unbelievable.

Everyone reading this conversation be like...

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@Stevo_the_gamer said:

@mrbojangles25 said:

At this point I just sort of have to assume you're trolling, because there is just so much wrong with this whole thing it's unbelievable.

Everyone reading this conversation be like...

\

Yeah, for real. And I'm generally one that enjoys a productive talk about one's BMs.

Get a bidet. Great purchase, saves me from having to jump in the shower afterwards. As I age, I find the O-Rings aren't quite sealing as well.

Agreed on a bidet. Especially useful on those scorching hot summer days when you got swamp ass

I just swallow tissue after every meal. You know the rest

@Stevo_the_gamer said:

@mrbojangles25 said:

At this point I just sort of have to assume you're trolling, because there is just so much wrong with this whole thing it's unbelievable.

Everyone reading this conversation be like...

\

I was wondering why people were having an in-depth conversation about wiping their ass. It's not that deep folks.

@luxuryheart said:

@Stevo_the_gamer said:

@mrbojangles25 said:

At this point I just sort of have to assume you're trolling, because there is just so much wrong with this whole thing it's unbelievable.

Everyone reading this conversation be like...

\

I was wondering why people were having an in-depth conversation about wiping their ass. It's not that deep folks.

No, apparently it's not that deep. Which is why he still has shit on his ass! GO DEEPER BRO GO DEEPER!

I do not share these problems. But water is a good way to clean your ass, better than paper. Wish I had a bidet or a washlet..

This is the greatest thread in the entire history of OT.

I think you are over complicating things. I would never do what you do.

What the **** did I just read 🤮🤮🤮

We have a bidet attachment on every toilet in the house, and I absolutely can't stand taking a dump anywhere else. Dunno how anyone can feel completely clean after just wiping with paper.

Yup, it’s hard to go back after having a bidet. It’s definitely a good investment to make.