are you married?

and if you are, is marriage a death certificate like alot of people make it out to be?

Goodness no.

and if you are, is marriage a death certificate like alot of people make it out to be?

youngmurk911

Yes in a legal sense but we're not together anymore. I don't recommend it per se but some people make it work.LJS9502_basic

why havent either of you filed for divorce yet?

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Yes in a legal sense but we're not together anymore. I don't recommend it per se but some people make it work.Colin1192

why havent either of you filed for divorce yet?

Not married, possibly never will be. Not because I have no confidence or anything like that, I just happen to like being alone in all honesty :D

But if you're not like me, marriage isn't a death certificate like a lot of people make it out as >.> it's actually proven that married men live several years longer than unmarried men (same applies for women). So I'm actually the one opting for an early grave :D...unless you marry a psycho in which case you might want to make your preferance of how you wish to die known to your significant other.

40 years strong and going.UltraZero

congrats

I'm going to court tomorrow to get Un-married. Then, I'm hitting the bar for lunch and taking country roads all the way home, about 60 miles.

I'll never divorce my wife. It would most likely cause depression to me, my wife or my kids.tekken220

[QUOTE="Colin1192"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Yes in a legal sense but we're not together anymore. I don't recommend it per se but some people make it work.LJS9502_basic

why havent either of you filed for divorce yet?

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

rawsavon

I'd say the first option myself.

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"][QUOTE="Colin1192"]

why havent either of you filed for divorce yet?

rawsavon

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

DavidianMH

I'd say the first option myself.

Situation:
1. sees a horrible marriage first hand every day, does not ever see a good marriage
2. sees people that hate eachother so much that they can't let go of their hate even when they are no longer together...the people that made him/her
3. doesn't know what the hell to think...no stability...always in limbo

Been married for 9 years ( I was 21 when I said I do) and I can say that it's been great ever since. We enjoy each other, and trust one another fully. She's my best friend, and I'm hers no doubt. Of course, like most things in life, marriage has it's ups and downs, but we are making it work.

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"] I'd rather keep the custody of my child without getting the courts involved.LJS9502_basic

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

Don't take this the wrong way, but why would I care about you (on a personal level) or your kid :?
...not everything I do is about you.

Your situation was merely a springboard to another conversation...nothing more

Furthermore, how can you assert what your child is feeling :?
Were you not just arguing this morning that you can NEVER know what another person is thinking :?
LINK

Been married for 9 years ( I was 21 when I said I do) and I can say that it's been great ever since. We enjoy each other, and trust one another fully. She's my best friend, and I'm hers no doubt. Of course, like most things in life, marriage has it's ups and downs, but we are making it work.

zmbi_gmr

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"][QUOTE="Colin1192"]

why havent either of you filed for divorce yet?

rawsavon

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

Yes. $60 at the courthouse. Did it on my lunch break. Round trip from work to there and back to work was like 1 1/2 hours tops. No rings. After 9 years we were pretty much married anyway so it wasn't a big deal for either of us.

She needed insurance and legal citizenship so i figured why not. I mean anyone who can put up with me for 9 years without leaving has to be worth keeping i guess.

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"] I'd rather keep the custody of my child without getting the courts involved.surrealnumber5

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

Don't take this the wrong way, but why would I care about you (on a personal level) or your kid :?
...not everything I do is about you.

Your situation was merely a springboard to another conversation...nothing more

Furthermore, how can you assert what your child is feeling :?
Were you not just arguing this morning that you can NEVER know what another person is thinking :?

rawsavon

[QUOTE="zmbi_gmr"]

Been married for 9 years ( I was 21 when I said I do) and I can say that it's been great ever since. We enjoy each other, and trust one another fully. She's my best friend, and I'm hers no doubt. Of course, like most things in life, marriage has it's ups and downs, but we are making it work.

YellowOneKinobi

Thanks. Congrats to you as well.

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

I wonder what would be worse for a child
-parents that stay together but are unhappy
-parents that are divorced and do not like one another
-or parents that are not together but are not divorced either (like a carrot always being dangled out there)

rawsavon

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

Don't take this the wrong way, but why would I care about you (on a personal level) or your kid :?
...not everything I do is about you.

Your situation was merely a springboard to another conversation...nothing more

Furthermore, how can you assert what your child is feeling :?
Were you not just arguing this morning that you can NEVER know what another person is thinking :?

LJS9502_basic

Of course I quoted you :?
Your post is what caused me to post what I dd. Your post was what spurred that thought...I fail to see the issue with that.
Your post is what gave mine context, and that is the reason that I quoted it.
I am sorry to say that I don't care about you or your family and that your welfare is of no concern to me (same as 99.9% of the population). So noting I posted was in regards to that...I just simply don't care how things are b/w you, your wife, and your child. (just being honest)

I debated one side of the argument this morning. Now I will debate the other. As you said, you can never truly know what another person is thinking. You can only know what you think you know. This may be based on what they tell you. But you have no idea if they are being 100% truthful or if they even know for sure themself. So you can only make an educated assumption about how your child feels. But TBH I don't know why you are bringing your family situation into this. I have no desire to talk about your family. It does not interest me. I am only concerned about the macro/generalities...not individuals. This is why I am not helping people in one on one therapy atm

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"] i think in each of those cases the outcome would be dependant on the cast

surrealnumber5

No, and I won't be anytime soon.

lol, me married?

That's still waaaaay down the road.

Yessir, been married for 13 years now and it was the best decision I've ever made. Ups and downs, sure, but I can't imagine not having the woman I love wake up with me every day.

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

Don't take this the wrong way, but why would I care about you (on a personal level) or your kid :?
...not everything I do is about you.

Your situation was merely a springboard to another conversation...nothing more

Furthermore, how can you assert what your child is feeling :?
Were you not just arguing this morning that you can NEVER know what another person is thinking :?

rawsavon

Of course I quoted you :?
Your post is what caused me to post what I dd. Your post was what spurred that thought...I fail to see the issue with that.
Your post is what gave mine context, and that is the reason that I quoted it.
I am sorry to say that I don't care about you or your family and that your welfare is of no concern to me (same as 99.9% of the population). So noting I posted was in regards to that...I just simply don't care how things are b/w you, your wife, and your child. (just being honest)

I debated one side of the argument this morning. Now I will debate the other. As you said, you can never truly know what another person is thinking. You can only know what you think you know. This may be based on what they tell you. But you have no idea if they are being 100% truthful or if they even know for sure themself. So you can only make an educated assumption about how your child feels. But TBH I don't know why you are bringing your family situation into this. I have no desire to talk about your family. It does not interest me. I am only concerned about the macro/generalities...not individuals. This is why I am not helping people in one on one therapy atm

And as I said I accept what someone tells me as opposed to assuming what they were thinking...which was your morning argument. Though now that you've switched your stance I quess that answers both threads.

No and probably never will be. Forever alone. :(

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]I guess I wouldn't take it that way had you not quoted me. Let's not be coy. I thought you were about the honesty? It might surprise you to know that I actually communicate with my child and have thus been told how said child feels. As the linked discussion was not about shared thoughts....then it's not applicable to this instance....except as an assumption on your part toward my relationship/communication with my child. Which was incorrect. 2 for2. Still think it's logical to assume what I say as fact?

LJS9502_basic

Of course I quoted you :?
Your post is what caused me to post what I dd. Your post was what spurred that thought...I fail to see the issue with that.
Your post is what gave mine context, and that is the reason that I quoted it.
I am sorry to say that I don't care about you or your family and that your welfare is of no concern to me (same as 99.9% of the population). So noting I posted was in regards to that...I just simply don't care how things are b/w you, your wife, and your child. (just being honest)

I debated one side of the argument this morning. Now I will debate the other. As you said, you can never truly know what another person is thinking. You can only know what you think you know. This may be based on what they tell you. But you have no idea if they are being 100% truthful or if they even know for sure themself. So you can only make an educated assumption about how your child feels. But TBH I don't know why you are bringing your family situation into this. I have no desire to talk about your family. It does not interest me. I am only concerned about the macro/generalities...not individuals. This is why I am not helping people in one on one therapy atm

And as I said I accept what someone tells me as opposed to assuming what they were thinking...which was your morning argument. Though now that you've switched your stance I quess that answers both threads.

Also, I will debate any side of an issue. The side does not bother me. I can find some truth in almost any stance.
But when it comes down to it, you are still making assumptions about what your child is feeling. You will never know for sure b/c (as you said in the other thread) 'you are not them'. You can only go off of what they give you. This may/may not be accurate and you may/may not be interpreting it correctly.

I think I explained why I quoted you just fine :?

But if you feel otherwise, just tell me what part you don't get and I will be more than happy to explain it to you :)

Also, I will debate any side of an issue. The side does not bother me. I can find some truth in almost any stance.
But when it comes down to it, you are still making assumptions about what your child is feeling. You will never know for sure b/c (as you said in the other thread) 'you are not them'. You can only go off of what they give you. This may/may not be accurate and you may/may not be interpreting it correctly.

rawsavon

No, not yet. I do hope to get married one day. It is something I believe in :)the_ChEeSe_mAn2

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

I think I explained why I quoted you just fine :?

But if you feel otherwise, just tell me what part you don't get and I will be more than happy to explain it to you :)

Also, I will debate any side of an issue. The side does not bother me. I can find some truth in almost any stance.
But when it comes down to it, you are still making assumptions about what your child is feeling. You will never know for sure b/c (as you said in the other thread) 'you are not them'. You can only go off of what they give you. This may/may not be accurate and you may/may not be interpreting it correctly.

LJS9502_basic

But it has nothing to do with you (not everything is about you)