Awkward Situation Advice

I know I will be trolled and flamed, and honestly, I would go somewhere else to ask this but I'm too lazy too.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years. Last year, I almost killed myself and was sent to a mental hospital for a week. While I was in the mental hospital, she hooked up twice with my best friend from high school. She did not tell me, and I found out 8 months later.

My birthday is coming up soon, and one of my friends from high school wants to throw a combined birthday party for me and another one of my friends. I did not ask her to throw a party for us.

Since my girlfriend is still in late high school, she cannot go to this party. She wants me to say I can't go, despite the fact that this party is being thrown for me, and despite the fact that she had sex with my best friend from high school. Personally, I think that this is unfair of her to ask after everything she put me through, and I refuse to let a barely college level relationship bring me down.

I know Gamespot isn't the place to go for relationship advice. Make your jokes and flame me, I just want some other input.

If you want to go to the party then you should go. She should learn to respect your wishes instead of trying to control you.

And honestly, I'd have broken up with her if she had cheated on me and even worse with my best friend(a dick move on his part). You really know how to pick your people don't you. lol

@johnd13: I'm aware, I'm far from the best at picking my people. I actually did break up with her for around two weeks after I found out, but after a lot of her begging to be with me, I finally gave in.

Okay first off why are you still with her when she cheated on you? Second that dude isn't your friend.. friends don't do that to each other.

This party is being thrown for you why wouldn't you go? Because she doesn't want you to go? Seems a bit controlling.. If I were you I would tell her I'm going to the party then I'd tell her that I'm breaking up with her for having sex with my friend something that seems long overdue last but not least if this friend is at the party I'd punch him right in the face.. Then announce to the everyone "NOW WE DRINK" but it's up to you lol

@NegativeAWESOME: wait a minute..is this girlfriend of yours Zoe Quinn??!!! Lol, just kidding.

First off : Why are you still a couple?! Being unfaithful is untolerateable: especially if it is with your best friend.

Second: You should end things with this girl. Hooking up with a best friend is not very girlfriendy of her. My advice, straight from the internet: break up!

it doesn't have to be horrible. Be kind. Express gratitude for the good times you have had together. This may seem contrived, but do it anyway.
State your position clearly. Be decisive, leaving no room for doubt or negotiation. It's important the she understands what went wrong. Never say, "I'll call you", and don't regret your decision: stay strong (if this is what you want)! Don't sleep with her picture, don't call her when your drunk, don't spy on her Facebook, and don't stay parked outside her house. As for your friend, I will leave this up to you.

Third : Go to party. Bring favorite beer and enjoy yourself.

@_Judas_:

First off, I really appreciate the advice! Thank you for your honest opinion

Secondly, I'm well aware I shouldn't be with her. I have zero trust for her, and she's been trying to do everything to show that she's sorry, like showing me her facebook messages and text messages. Still, breaking up with her is definitely not out of the question, and I have considered finally ending this relationship many many times.

And third, I read the Zoe Post, and honestly, a lot of things Zoe did remind me of what my own girlfriend did. Well minus the five guys, at least to my knowledge.

EDIT

Also, I've ceased contact with this "friend" for a long time. He said himself that he didn't care, and is not sorry. I'm serious.

@NegativeAWESOME: mh, these things can be hard.

If there still is doubt then maybe you have to go deeper:

If you still have feelings for her, take a break. Think about the future. IS she with you? In the future?

Gather one/some close friends and ask them about the situation -- somebody who knows you better. There must be a reason why you two are still together. It seems like you have reluctantly stepped back into the relationship -- I am not trying to pry you apart, it's just... it's not healthy to be in this position. Remember; you also have something to say about this relationship. If you're unhappy, you should say so.

I could never remain in a relationship with a girl who's tasted another flesh while we were dating. If a "professional foul" in football warrants a red card, being unfaithful definitely warrants a break-up.

I'll hope you'll give it some thought. It sounds like you might -still- have feelings for this girl. I won't judge; some girls are special. Good luck!

EDIT: By the way; your friend's a real douche... A true friend would never do this.

Why are you with her still and why is this dude still your friend? Really, what the HELL. Drop her and drop him and run far away from that hot mess.

From the sounds of it, this isn't about her not going to a party she can't be at, and therefor she does't want you to go. Women are calculated self-serving emotionally manipulative bitches so it makes more sense she's saying that because she plans on attending the party, and it'd be uncomfortable for her to attend YOUR birthday party with you there, so she's trying to get you not to go. Tell her you're not going, but go anyways. You'll see her there. Just call her up like "Yeah, I don't really wanna go anyways. But I don't want to hurt whats-her-name's feelings by saying no. I'm just not going to go but don't go telling anybody." I'm sure you'll hear her smiling over the receiver.

Anyhow, don't get hung up on your ex-girlfriend. There's more fish and the sea, a lot of fish in the sea, whatever.

@NegativeAWESOME: I think the bigger question is, what's really stopping you from ending such a destructive relationship?

Be done with those people. They are fickle and do not have your best interests in mind. After that, make new friends and find a better girlfriend.

Why are you still with her? Grab your CD's and leave!

I agree with the general consensus that you need to dump your gf and find a better best friend to hang out with.

i don't get you TC, if you've decided to forgive your girlfriend and stay with her you should indeed treat her like she's forgiven. you can't just turn her down every time because of something you forgave. if you can't truly accept her after that incident just dump her and don't torture yourself anymore.

Do you want your friend to throw you that party? It seems you are not thrilled about it.

You should get over and be done with them if u ask me

You can only control your own thoughts and actions, not those of others. Either you have forgiven her or not. It sounds like you haven't, in which case you should man up and end the relationship. If you have forgiven her, then stop going back to the blame game every time she says or does something you don't like. The fact that you even bring up the past when discussing the current birthday party situation suggests that you have not forgiven. Consciously decide this key question for yourself. No one can tell you whether it is right or wrong to forgive. Only honest self reflection can tell you whether you can put this behind, or not.

Also, with regard to your opening paragraph. It doesn't matter which way you ultimately choose, as long as you are true to yourself in doing so. Either way you will be stronger because you are taking control and moving forward. Reflect honestly, choose, and then don't look back. That is my advice.

Get rid of that dead weight bro. When you was at your lowest she was off cheating on you. It's a no brainer.

Go to your party and and get a new girlfriend.

Judas has the right idea; ditch the chick and douche and party it up.

This.

@VaguelyTagged: i agree with this, if you have forgoiven her then move on and act like shes forgiven.

If you have not and cannot forgive her then break up and move on.

Just break up with the person if she cheated on you and is trying to control you if you haven't forgiven her.I think you will regret it in the future if you don't do break up with her. I regretted not cuttiing ties with toxic friends or people in the past.

I think our friendship would blossom in the real world.