Being yourself: BS claim or really true?

Thoughts?

As in, be yourself and people will like you for you? That is a bunch of BS. Doesent stop me though...Def_Jef88

Well, it;'s because i read a topic on Gamefaqs saying that you have to atleast better yourself in order to get a more broden horizen of women.

are you asking about when people try to give you advice about picking up girls, they say "just be yourself"?

If so, that is the most bull **** piece of advice ever.

are you asking about when people try to give you advice, they say "just be yourself"

If so, that is such a bull**** piece of advice ever.

blooddemon666

elaborate if you must. :)

Well, it isn't that "being yourself" helps you to get more girls...it's just that you might as well be yourself and eventually find the girl that's cool with that, even if it means waiting longer than you'd like.

The alternative to being yourself is a complicated lie, which sounds pretty frustrating.

[QUOTE="Def_Jef88"]As in, be yourself and people will like you for you? That is a bunch of BS. Doesent stop me though...Sonick54

Well, it;'s because i read a topic on Gamefaqs saying that you have to atleast better yourself in order to get a more broden horizen of women.

[QUOTE="Sonick54"]

[QUOTE="Def_Jef88"]As in, be yourself and people will like you for you? That is a bunch of BS. Doesent stop me though...mgreener_34

Well, it;'s because i read a topic on Gamefaqs saying that you have to atleast better yourself in order to get a more broden horizen of women.

Well, being a nice guy all the time will bore them, no? You gotta have a mix of boith a tough guy and a nice guy.

Seeing that a persons actions are often dependant on certain environmental stimuli and situational, being yourself is actually kind of bull ****. for example, how you think you would act in a certain situation, based on you perceived ego, is probably not going to be how you you would really act. A good example of this would be the Nazi doctors in the death camps. They swore the Hippocratic oath to help people, yet at the same time the situationals coerced them into the twisted killing of millions. :|KrayzieJ

i don't mean in short term, but habit wise.

~-~I'm going to assume you're talking about dating wise. That whole, "just be yourself" thing they keep saying before they dump you cuz you didn't shower for a week. When you first meet someone you don't need to be completely yourself. Just make sure you're not acting like someone else. Ler her get to know you before you tell her you have over 10k posts here.~-~The_PirateKing

Well ya, generally you want to impress the girl you want to get. But going to the extreme where you aren't yourself at all will kill it for her.

[QUOTE="The_PirateKing"]~-~I'm going to assume you're talking about dating wise. That whole, "just be yourself" thing they keep saying before they dump you cuz you didn't shower for a week. When you first meet someone you don't need to be completely yourself. Just make sure you're not acting like someone else. Ler her get to know you before you tell her you have over 10k posts here.~-~Sonick54

Well ya, generally you want to impress the girl you want to get. But going to the extreme where you aren't yourself at all will kill it for her.

Well ya, generally you want to impress the girl you want to get. But going to the extreme where you aren't yourself at all will kill it for her.

Sonick54

If communication didn't exist, we would exist purely on instinct. Our attitudes and morals are based on what we see, hear, and experience. In this concept, we would be nothing without everyone else. We merely shape ourselves based on what we feel is right and wrong.Vortexx

Probably the most common tip that people give out when giving advice about getting women is "Just be yourself" Whether it be from some well known poster on a forum, or some random nobody 15 year old.
Now... If sheer volume were any indication, this would be the best piece of advice ever.
but in reality, it is the absolute worst piece of advice someone can give... ever.
Just being yourself (JBY from now on) is the most counter productive pieces of advice ever when trying to pick up girls.
You will get this all the time, as I said, from a married man of 15 years, to some relationship "expert"
JBY is the fall back answer when people don't have anything productive to say, but still want to spout bull ****.

Okay, lets say you ask someone for some advice. they tell you to JBY. Tell them that JBY has gotten you nowhere, in fact, you havent gone out with a girl in years by JBY.

At which point they will answer with the stock answer, as bs as JBY,"Just be patient and you'll meet the right girl"

So... how does this help someone, like me for example, get a date. a person who only dates once in a blue moon.

Instead of JBY, TAKE CHARGE, go out there and actively be the person who YOU want to be.
Learn the mistakes of your past, and be in a state of constant self improvement.

Now I'm not saying, go out there and be an a-hole (but that's what a lot of girls seem to be looking for... hmmm)

In order to get the most out of life, You have to be in a state of perpetual improvement. to get the most out of life, you have to put yourself out there, and learn from your mistakes, learn your limits, your weaknesses.

Don't just be yourself, be who you WANT to be. If you want to be the Don Juan, having a different girl every week, do everything in your power to do that. go to bars/clubs, talk to each and every woman there. So what if they think you're some kind of freak, or that they don't want to be hit on. What are they going to do, what impact on your life are they going to have in the future? None. that's right.

If anything, they will actually be helping you. You'll learn really quickly what to talk about, what not to talk about, how to approach, what girls TO approach.

you won't find a girl by sitting on your lazy ass all day, I know I haven't.

[QUOTE="Vortexx"]If communication didn't exist, we would exist purely on instinct. Our attitudes and morals are based on what we see, hear, and experience. In this concept, we would be nothing without everyone else. We merely shape ourselves based on what we feel is right and wrong.blooddemon666

Probably the most common tip that people give out when giving advice about getting women is "Just be yourself" Whether it be from some well known poster on a forum, or some random nobody 15 year old.
Now... If sheer volume were any indication, this would be the best piece of advice ever.
but in reality, it is the absolute worst piece of advice someone can give... ever.
Just being yourself (JBY from now on) is the most counter productive pieces of advice ever when trying to pick up girls.
You will get this all the time, as I said, from a married man of 15 years, to some relationship "expert"
JBY is the fall back answer when people don't have anything productive to say, but still want to spout bull ****.

Okay, lets say you ask someone for some advice. they tell you to JBY. Tell them that JBY has gotten you nowhere, in fact, you havent gone out with a girl in years by JBY.

At which point they will answer with the stock answer, as bs as JBY,"Just be patient and you'll meet the right girl"

So... how does this help someone, like me for example, get a date. a person who only dates once in a blue moon.

Instead of JBY, TAKE CHARGE, go out there and actively be the person who YOU want to be.
Learn the mistakes of your past, and be in a state of constant self improvement.

Now I'm not saying, go out there and be an a-hole (but that's what a lot of girls seem to be looking for... hmmm)

In order to get the most out of life, You have to be in a state of perpetual improvement. to get the most out of life, you have to put yourself out there, and learn from your mistakes, learn your limits, your weaknesses.

Don't just be yourself, be who you WANT to be. If you want to be the Don Juan, having a different girl every week, do everything in your power to do that. go to bars/clubs, talk to each and every woman there. So what if they think you're some kind of freak, or that they don't want to be hit on. What are they going to do, what impact on your life are they going to have in the future? None. that's right.

If anything, they will actually be helping you. You'll learn really quickly what to talk about, what not to talk about, how to approach, what girls TO approach.

you won't find a girl by sitting on your lazy ass all day, I know I haven't.

[QUOTE="Vortexx"]If communication didn't exist, we would exist purely on instinct. Our attitudes and morals are based on what we see, hear, and experience. In this concept, we would be nothing without everyone else. We merely shape ourselves based on what we feel is right and wrong.blooddemon666

Probably the most common tip that people give out when giving advice about getting women is "Just be yourself" Whether it be from some well known poster on a forum, or some random nobody 15 year old.
Now... If sheer volume were any indication, this would be the best piece of advice ever.
but in reality, it is the absolute worst piece of advice someone can give... ever.
Just being yourself (JBY from now on) is the most counter productive pieces of advice ever when trying to pick up girls.
You will get this all the time, as I said, from a married man of 15 years, to some relationship "expert"
JBY is the fall back answer when people don't have anything productive to say, but still want to spout bull ****.

Okay, lets say you ask someone for some advice. they tell you to JBY. Tell them that JBY has gotten you nowhere, in fact, you havent gone out with a girl in years by JBY.

At which point they will answer with the stock answer, as bs as JBY,"Just be patient and you'll meet the right girl"

So... how does this help someone, like me for example, get a date. a person who only dates once in a blue moon.

Instead of JBY, TAKE CHARGE, go out there and actively be the person who YOU want to be.
Learn the mistakes of your past, and be in a state of constant self improvement.

Now I'm not saying, go out there and be an a-hole (but that's what a lot of girls seem to be looking for... hmmm)

In order to get the most out of life, You have to be in a state of perpetual improvement. to get the most out of life, you have to put yourself out there, and learn from your mistakes, learn your limits, your weaknesses.

Don't just be yourself, be who you WANT to be. If you want to be the Don Juan, having a different girl every week, do everything in your power to do that. go to bars/clubs, talk to each and every woman there. So what if they think you're some kind of freak, or that they don't want to be hit on. What are they going to do, what impact on your life are they going to have in the future? None. that's right.

If anything, they will actually be helping you. You'll learn really quickly what to talk about, what not to talk about, how to approach, what girls TO approach.

you won't find a girl by sitting on your lazy ass all day, I know I haven't.

Saved me the trouble of typing my thoughts :P

I agree and it sounded a lot like what the guy in that other topic said (except less harsh). Be who you want to be and learn from events and better yourself to adapt to problems later on. By being yourself, you must leanr to KNOW yourself. By understanding your faults and good parts, you'll change for the better while still staying you :)

A lot of criminals and psychopaths are "just being themselves."

Seems to have worked for them, right?

You are told to be yourself to attract a female because if you pretend to be someone else you will end up acting yourself into a corner. Then you naturally won't be attractive.

Well, those who actively be who they want to be is technically being themselves if they are active in achieving that stigma, right?trust_nobody

You are told to be yourself to attract a female because if you pretend to be someone else you will end up acting yourself into a corner. Then you naturally won't be attractive.

trust_nobody

I have the mouth of a sailor, do you think I curse in front of my boss?

**** no! that would get me fired in an instant.

I'm not saying "go out and be some fake person who will show their true selves and then get dumped"I'm saying, step outside your comfort zone and take risks.

What in the hell do Canadians call bacon, when they call ham "bacon"?ElZilcho90

american bacon?

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]

You are told to be yourself to attract a female because if you pretend to be someone else you will end up acting yourself into a corner. Then you naturally won't be attractive.

blooddemon666

I have the mouth of a sailor, do you think I curse in front of my boss?

**** no! that would get me fired in an instant.

I'm not saying "go out and be some fake person who will show their true selves and then get dumped"I'm saying, step outside your comfort zone and take risks.

[QUOTE="blooddemon666"][QUOTE="trust_nobody"]

You are told to be yourself to attract a female because if you pretend to be someone else you will end up acting yourself into a corner. Then you naturally won't be attractive.

-MuadDib-

I have the mouth of a sailor, do you think I curse in front of my boss?

**** no! that would get me fired in an instant.

I'm not saying "go out and be some fake person who will show their true selves and then get dumped"I'm saying, step outside your comfort zone and take risks.

Thank you. Knowing when to not look lazy or not to disrespect others is not a charade, it's proper manners and social behavior.trust_nobody

but in so doing, you go against of what you'd want to do, thus putting on a facade to fit in a social architecture. I know a word/phrase that they use for exactly what i'm trying to say, but i can't remember it.

but we are straying from the point at hand.

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]Thank you. Knowing when to not look lazy or not to disrespect others is not a charade, it's proper manners and social behavior.blooddemon666

but in so doing, you go against of what you'd want to do, thus putting on a facade to fit in a social architecture. I know a word/phrase that they use for exactly what i'm trying to say, but i can't remember it.

but we are straying from the point at hand.

[QUOTE="blooddemon666"]

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]Thank you. Knowing when to not look lazy or not to disrespect others is not a charade, it's proper manners and social behavior.trust_nobody

but in so doing, you go against of what you'd want to do, thus putting on a facade to fit in a social architecture. I know a word/phrase that they use for exactly what i'm trying to say, but i can't remember it.

but we are straying from the point at hand.

so thus saying "just be yourself" is a bull **** piece of advice.

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"][QUOTE="blooddemon666"]

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]Thank you. Knowing when to not look lazy or not to disrespect others is not a charade, it's proper manners and social behavior.blooddemon666

but in so doing, you go against of what you'd want to do, thus putting on a facade to fit in a social architecture. I know a word/phrase that they use for exactly what i'm trying to say, but i can't remember it.

but we are straying from the point at hand.

so thus saying "just be yourself" is a bull **** piece of advice.

Well not necessarily because I myself would rather fit into a social architecture. I want to succumb to society's consensus of acceptable behavior. So I don't see being myself as doing what I please, more so doing what comes naturally to me.trust_nobody

Being myself; I never got so much as a glance from a girl. I was shy, always looked down when I walked, so on and so forth. I was being myself.

But now, I would like to have a female companion, but no girl wants a shy, insecure guy; she wants a strong, confident guy. I knew this, and I, personally, want to be more confident in myself, so I took some steps in order to increase my confidence.

do you see where I'm coming from?

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"][QUOTE="blooddemon666"]

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]Thank you. Knowing when to not look lazy or not to disrespect others is not a charade, it's proper manners and social behavior.blooddemon666

but in so doing, you go against of what you'd want to do, thus putting on a facade to fit in a social architecture. I know a word/phrase that they use for exactly what i'm trying to say, but i can't remember it.

but we are straying from the point at hand.

so thus saying "just be yourself" is a bull **** piece of advice.

People that give this advice seem to assume that when you are born, it is as if you are some sort block of stone with a fully formed statue already inside. They say "be yourself." Chisel away at that stone, throw off all those unfitting personality traits, until you begin to reveal that pristine piece of art inside. In reality, there is very little in that block of stone. What is already formed inside (genetics) may not even be desirable.

It's rather unfortunate, really, as living under this assumption causes people to stray from self improvement. I know this from experience. Really, you have to take charge and, as you said, improve yourself. Build your own statue the way you see fit.

[QUOTE="trust_nobody"]Well not necessarily because I myself would rather fit into a social architecture. I want to succumb to society's consensus of acceptable behavior. So I don't see being myself as doing what I please, more so doing what comes naturally to me.blooddemon666

Being myself; I never got so much as a glance from a girl. I was shy, always looked down when I walked, so on and so forth. I was being myself.

But now, I would like to have a female companion, but no girl wants a shy, insecure guy; she wants a strong, confident guy. I knew this, and I, personally, want to be more confident in myself, so I took some steps in order to increase my confidence.

do you see where I'm coming from?