Check out my poem I made. Try to decipher it.

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Lil_Dwayne

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#1 Lil_Dwayne
Member since 2008 • 629 Posts

you cant kill me! 30+ buses that can make me and you us. Yes, you try to steal my soul from being gold like rust. I see that, and therefore cant trust any of yas. That sucks, I cant be myself without being bust...ed? Man Im disgusted. Every time I open my fingers to talk they are shutted. Long time committers I dont see how you love it or lasted. Through the toils of natzi bastids that shut you down and kill you off faster than eyes are batted.

Well that's as far as I got. What do you think, and what do you think it is about?

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CIoud_S

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#2 CIoud_S
Member since 2007 • 3216 Posts

Roses are red

violets are blue

the next thing I see

is a banning for you

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R0cky_Racc00n

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#3 R0cky_Racc00n
Member since 2006 • 5088 Posts
Needs some work...
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deactivated-5e97585ea928c

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#4 deactivated-5e97585ea928c
Member since 2006 • 8521 Posts

Roses are red

Violets are blue

In soviet Russia

Poem write you

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forgetwatyahear

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#5 forgetwatyahear
Member since 2005 • 6260 Posts
i don't think it is that great,could use some work. Your tone and diction aren't coherent enough to allow deciphring
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AAllxxjjnn

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#6 AAllxxjjnn
Member since 2008 • 19992 Posts
That was pitiful
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Blitz_Nemesis

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#7 Blitz_Nemesis
Member since 2005 • 8042 Posts

kinda seems like more of a rap then a poem but i guess its not terrible but its kinda confusing, unless im missing something. "Every time I open my fingers to talk they are shutted.":?. i have no clue what its about

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xSIZEMATTER

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#8 xSIZEMATTER
Member since 2008 • 7045 Posts
I love cake, you should too! we should get together and eat some cake :|
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ayanami_rei

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#9 ayanami_rei
Member since 2005 • 17115 Posts
Meh. Work on it. Try putting it in "poem" form.
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Raged-wolverine

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#10 Raged-wolverine
Member since 2005 • 6075 Posts
i don't mean to be offensive...but WTF is that??...:|
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ferrari2001

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#11 ferrari2001
Member since 2008 • 17772 Posts

Roses are red

violets are blue

the next thing I see

is a banning for you

CIoud_S

haha lol Masterpiece!

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outbreak201

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#12 outbreak201
Member since 2005 • 8372 Posts
hip hop rip rop yall are bunch of slip slops
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logan_rulez

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#13 logan_rulez
Member since 2007 • 284 Posts
[QUOTE="CIoud_S"]

Roses are red

violets are blue

the next thing I see

is a banning for you

ferrari2001

it sure is!

haha lol Masterpiece!

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ayanami_rei

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#14 ayanami_rei
Member since 2005 • 17115 Posts
i don't mean to be offensive...but WTF is that??...:|Raged-wolverine
Obviously, it seems to be not a poem. Lot of work needs to be done!
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Lil_Dwayne

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#15 Lil_Dwayne
Member since 2008 • 629 Posts

Man it doesnt matter how you present the poem. I said its a poem, therefore, my creation is what I say it is.

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forgetwatyahear

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#16 forgetwatyahear
Member since 2005 • 6260 Posts

Man it doesnt matter how you present the poem. I said its a poem, therefore, my creation is what I say it is.

Lil_Dwayne
your not walt whitman or emily dickison,don't present a poem as prose than call it a poem
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commander55

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#17 commander55
Member since 2007 • 350 Posts

Roses are red

Violets are blue

What the ****

Are you trying to do?

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DivergeUnify

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#18 DivergeUnify
Member since 2007 • 15150 Posts

Man it doesnt matter how you present the poem. I said its a poem, therefore, my creation is what I say it is.

Lil_Dwayne
No, it matters how it's presented
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cpo335

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#19 cpo335
Member since 2002 • 5463 Posts
[QUOTE="Lil_Dwayne"]

Man it doesnt matter how you present the poem. I said its a poem, therefore, my creation is what I say it is.

DivergeUnify

No, it matters how it's presented

Exactly.

Go back to school.

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guitarman89

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#20 guitarman89
Member since 2007 • 1485 Posts
I agree with what someone said before me. It seemed more like a rap to me. It had no consistent meter. Trying putting it in some sort of semi consistent poetic form and then I'll try to decipher it.