could the "friend zone" be considered a form of torture?

Do you view the friend zone as torture? I kinda do because you having to mentally hold back all the things and actions you really want to say and do to the person that you care so much about whenever you are around them. In fact a couple of months ago I recently cut a girl out of my life because I coulldn't stand it anymore by deleting her from any friend's list I had her on and getting rid of her phone number and getting rid of any mail from her.

Anyways back to the topic "Do you consider the friend zone to be torture?"

if your in the "just friends" or "best friends" you waited too long :(. and yes it is torture.

Almost never works. If you wait too long, they start just seeing you as like a brother.

If it is torture, it is consensual torture. If you aren't able to "just be friends" with someone, it's a pretty crappy move to use friendship as a sneaky way to try to build something romantic, IMO.xaos

i wouldn;t say it's torture but it's not fun at all.

[QUOTE="xaos"]If it is torture, it is consensual torture. If you aren't able to "just be friends" with someone, it's a pretty crappy move to use friendship as a sneaky way to try to build something romantic, IMO.Serraph105

torture. no, but it do sucks to be in the friend zone with the 1 you like... :lol: @ the pic

torture. no, but it do sucks to be in the friend zone with the 1 you like... :lol: @ the pic

IRunNewYork

I tried to bury those memory's TC :cry:

In all seriousness, give her an ultimatum when that happens.

And just leave her if she tells you no.

Even if you were friends with her, you're still not getting what you want, so you might as well just delete her and ignore her.

you probably waited too long, or she just doesn't want a relationship. either way I'm sorry- I never realized how much guys hated that till I got married and learned all about the ways of men.

I wouldn't call it torture, but it is a massive pain in the ass.

It can be in some instances, but you've got emotional issues if you fall in love with every girl you talk to.

I've got a group of three girls that I call friends. Two of them I'm happy to be just friends with because I know what they are like. I wouldn't go out with them even if they asked me (unless I was extremely desperate). The other one I really like and I reckon we would be great together. She is cool with how I feel and we are getting closer by the day. If she decides to go out with someone else, sure I'll be upset for a couple weeks, but I'm still going to see her and hang out with her.

No. Just find someone else to be intimate with. In the meantime, just enjoy the friendship.

It can be in some instances, but you've got emotional issues if you fall in love with every girl you talk to.

I've got a group of three girls that I call friends. Two of them I'm happy to be just friends with because I know what they are like. I wouldn't go out with them even if they asked me (unless I was extremely desperate). The other one I really like and I reckon we would be great together. She is cool with how I feel and we are getting closer by the day. If she decides to go out with someone else, sure I'll be upset for a couple weeks, but I'm still going to see her and hang out with her.

daqua_99

I don't know. If you really care about the person the friend zone should be tolerable.. if not you're just being self centered.

It is indeed a form of torture. However if you're put in the friend zone It was very likely your own fault as you interacted with a woman in the wrong manner.DA_B0MB

It can be in some instances, but you've got emotional issues if you fall in love with every girl you talk to.

I've got a group of three girls that I call friends. Two of them I'm happy to be just friends with because I know what they are like. I wouldn't go out with them even if they asked me (unless I was extremely desperate). The other one I really like and I reckon we would be great together. She is cool with how I feel and we are getting closer by the day. If she decides to go out with someone else, sure I'll be upset for a couple weeks, but I'm still going to see her and hang out with her.

I don't know. If you really care about the person the friend zone should be tolerable.. if not you're just being self centered.

EMOEVOLUTION

Depends how you look at it. The girl might not see it that way, heck she might not even know your feelings toward her. But for you the more you are infatuated with her, the more torturous the relationship can become. Its all in your head really...

Not to say the relationship won't evolve at all, like some had mentioned many people were friends before they became a couple and imo that's really the best approach. But in those instances I would have to say the feelings were somewhat mutual to begin with.

If your feelings with her are that strong or it becomes uncontrollable, my advise would be to limit your time spend with her... it doesn't do you any good with all these feelings bottled up

Not really. What the big deal? Find someone else. There are just so many women on this earth.

[QUOTE="EMOEVOLUTION"]

I don't know. If you really care about the person the friend zone should be tolerable.. if not you're just being self centered.

Serraph105

No. But it's all about how you look at it. Once you've been in a few lengthy relationships, you realize that there's something to be said for a good friendship that doesn't become romantic. Far less obligation involved.

It's fine if you are not attracted or have feelings for the girl

But if you have the slightest thought of desiring more, and you know she doesn't and only wants to be friends....then RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND NEVER LOOK BACK.

Do you view the friend zone as torture? I kinda do because you having to mentally hold back all the things and actions you really want to say and do to the person that you care so much about whenever you are around them. In fact a couple of months ago I recently cut a girl out of my life because I coulldn't stand it anymore by deleting her from any friend's list I had her on and getting rid of her phone number and getting rid of any mail from her.

Anyways back to the topic "Do you consider the friend zone to be torture?"

Serraph105

Uh...no.

It's simple costs vs benefits.

You're her friend, but you want to be MORE than her friend. Expressing this may hurt your friendship, or not. You weigh the costs vs the benefits. Then you either decide to pursue her romantically, or you don't.

But TORTURE? Dude, no one is forcing anything on you. You can either pursue her romantically, or stay in the "friend zone". That's all on you. Think about it. Make a decision. Decide which is the best course of action, then act according to that. If you think that it's worth potentially jeopardizing your friendship in order to make a move on her, then go ahead and do so. If you think that the potential loss of her friendship is an unacceptable consequence, then don't make a move on her.

But in either case, you can do what you want.

Don't get me started about being stuck in the friend zone with a girl. I was stuck in it, thought I broke out and was just ready to ask her out, and when she was coming over to hang out once...she told me she had feelings for this random guy...I don't know if she strung me along, but I kid you not, friday night we would be at her house, saturday night at mine, next weekend friday night at her house, saturday night at mine...This happened for 3 months, not to mention all the driving around town in the middle of the week and going for out for lunch in the middle of the week, and all the times going out for supper. It was always just the two of us. Where the hell did she find the time to meet this other guy?!

You might think I'm crazy, but she also texted me 24/7, sometimes I had to set my phone to silence on nights so I could sleep, and some of them were pretty dirty texts that if I said here I would be moderated. I can't believe I let the best girl I've ever met get away. :( Ever since she started dating that guy, the time we spent hanging out dropped to almost zero. I don't think he liked how close we were, and now I don't even know if she considers me a friend anymore, and she's basically married to him. Whatever, I'm bound to find someone better next year at university. I even tried texting her (after not talking to her for over a year or so) and alls I got was "lol" "ok" "ya" as responses...Basically I said screw her, if she doesn't even want me talking to her, I can leave her be. Then I brought up the option of me coming to where she lives and visiting for New Years, and she shot me down entirely saying she was going away with family, then on her Facebook it says "new years at my house."

I can take a hint.

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest. :P

I would say yes, it is a cruel torture to.

I have always thought the "friend zone" is complete bs. My girlfriend actually became my best friend before we even started dating, and she remains my best friend to this day.

I don't believe in the "friend zone". Some people just aren't meant to be together in a relationship, that's all.

Friends with benefits is the best deal you can get... So friends aren't all bad :Phorgen123

it isn't nice. you don't fully understand it until you've actually been in that situation. i was once, then she started rooting some freak, and then whinge to me about how **** it is. it takes a while, but eventually you'll get over it and stop giving a **** i'm well over it now, in a relationship of 6 months, it's really not as hard as you think.

Don't get me started about being stuck in the friend zone with a girl. I was stuck in it, thought I broke out and was just ready to ask her out, and when she was coming over to hang out once...she told me she had feelings for this random guy...I don't know if she strung me along, but I kid you not, friday night we would be at her house, saturday night at mine, next weekend friday night at her house, saturday night at mine...This happened for 3 months, not to mention all the driving around town in the middle of the week and going for out for lunch in the middle of the week, and all the times going out for supper. It was always just the two of us. Where the hell did she find the time to meet this other guy?!

You might think I'm crazy, but she also texted me 24/7, sometimes I had to set my phone to silence on nights so I could sleep, and some of them were pretty dirty texts that if I said here I would be moderated. I can't believe I let the best girl I've ever met get away. :( Ever since she started dating that guy, the time we spent hanging out dropped to almost zero. I don't think he liked how close we were, and now I don't even know if she considers me a friend anymore, and she's basically married to him. Whatever, I'm bound to find someone better next year at university. I even tried texting her (after not talking to her for over a year or so) and alls I got was "lol" "ok" "ya" as responses...Basically I said screw her, if she doesn't even want me talking to her, I can leave her be. Then I brought up the option of me coming to where she lives and visiting for New Years, and she shot me down entirely saying she was going away with family, then on her Facebook it says "new years at my house."

I can take a hint.

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest. :P

Bluestorm-Kalas

That sucks. Personally I think somewhere in that three months of going back and forth you needed a strong move to let her know you wanted her. Women seem to respond to guys that really make them feel wanted. I learned this kind of late but I did learn it. They seem to be able to date guy friends that let them know in the begining that the guy finds them attractive and would like to get to know them more to see if they would be a good pair.

The friend zone comes when a guy is all nice and listening and all of that, but he doesn't let the girl know he's into her at all. The friend zone is no fun, but with expereince comes knowledge. I did the whole friends thing in high school. Never again!!!

I usually stay out of the friend zone. I have friends that are girls, but I chose to be their friend because they were cool. The zone is where you continually try to hook up and get shot down, with the girl still calling you to do stuff with her. It is torture; they only keep up the friendship to make themselves feel good.

I don't know. If you really care about the person the friend zone should be tolerable.. if not you're just being self centered.

EMOEVOLUTION

you bring it upon yourself and can leave when you want so noweezyfb