Darth Vader robs a bank on Long Island

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Bourbons3

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#1 Bourbons3
Member since 2003 • 24238 Posts
It seems the Empire has fallen on hard times. Presumably to get finishing funds for his latest Death Star, Darth Vader-or a man pretending to be Darth Vader?-was reduced to robbing a bank on Long Island this morning. Impotent Rebel Alliance security forces tell Newsday (paywall) that Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun-as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat-the fallen Jedi demanded cash. gothamist
 Full article here: http://bit.ly/akfb3n
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ferrari2001

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#2 ferrari2001
Member since 2008 • 17772 Posts
Yes that is very funny. Why didn't he just choke everyone there and steal the money with the force. Why the gun.
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THE_DRUGGIE

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#3 THE_DRUGGIE
Member since 2006 • 25110 Posts

Hey, Death Stars don't pay for themselves.

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Chucckstarr

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#4 Chucckstarr
Member since 2009 • 25 Posts
LMFAO. That is pretty epic honestly. Can you even image what was going on in the head of the clerk he was robbing?
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Espada12

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#5 Espada12
Member since 2008 • 23247 Posts

Clerk was probably trying to hold back from laughing.. I know I would be lol

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entropyecho

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#6 entropyecho
Member since 2005 • 22053 Posts

This is awesome.

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Oleg_Huzwog

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#7 Oleg_Huzwog
Member since 2007 • 21885 Posts

No! The Bank of Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons! You can't possibly...

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Hellfire-1

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#8 Hellfire-1
Member since 2009 • 3532 Posts
This is a huge win! :lol:
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T_P_O

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#9 T_P_O
Member since 2008 • 5388 Posts

Oh dear, I lol'd a fair bit.

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nocoolnamejim

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#10 nocoolnamejim
Member since 2003 • 15136 Posts
Man how the mighty have fallen. I mean, at one time Darth Vader was the most feared person in the galaxy. Then he was exposed as an egghead (literally) in Return of the Jedi and then a whiny little momma's boy in The Phantom Menace, and then a lovesick adolescent in the other two prequels and now.... ...a freaking bank robber? I'm so depressed.
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GrandJury

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#11 GrandJury
Member since 2009 • 15396 Posts
I can't think of any clever starwars thinks to say. Damn it!
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Head_of_games

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#12 Head_of_games
Member since 2007 • 10859 Posts
:lol: If he is caught, he needs to be tried and imprisoned while wearing his armor.
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gamefan606

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#13 gamefan606
Member since 2005 • 3930 Posts
[QUOTE="Head_of_games"]:lol: If he is caught, he needs to be tried and imprisoned while wearing his armor.

This. Definitely this.
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Theokhoth

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#14 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
Your lack of Benjamins disturbs me.
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entropyecho

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#15 entropyecho
Member since 2005 • 22053 Posts

:lol: If he is caught, he needs to be tried and imprisoned while wearing his armor. Head_of_games

:lol: Oh please let that happen!

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cd_rom

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#16 cd_rom
Member since 2003 • 13951 Posts
Stories like these make it good to be alive.
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disharmonized

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#17 disharmonized
Member since 2010 • 1051 Posts

if i was in the bank i probably would have been laughing and not even noticing there was an actual threat.

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ghoklebutter

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#18 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts
o_O I didn't see that coming.
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tagyhag

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#19 tagyhag
Member since 2007 • 15874 Posts

:lol: If he is caught, he needs to be tried and imprisoned while wearing his armor. Head_of_games

"We find the defendant guilty"

1

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th3warr1or

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#20 th3warr1or
Member since 2007 • 20637 Posts
Oh god, epic win.
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cybrcatter

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#21 cybrcatter
Member since 2003 • 16210 Posts
Hey, I was drunk, and short on cash. Better a gun than drunken force push.
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LastCaveMan

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#22 LastCaveMan
Member since 2010 • 300 Posts

what do you expect

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David719

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#24 David719
Member since 2007 • 2187 Posts

I think he force choked the guy on the floor.

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Farkeman

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#25 Farkeman
Member since 2009 • 1199 Posts
"It seems the Empire has fallen on hard times" lol :D
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Baconbits2004

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#26 Baconbits2004
Member since 2009 • 12602 Posts
Lond Island?
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comp_atkins

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#27 comp_atkins
Member since 2005 • 38944 Posts

death stars cost a ----load of money to build and those bastard rebels blew up 2 of them. that's a HUGE financial loss. maybe they didn't have insurance.

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foxhound_fox

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#28 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

No! The Bank of Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons! You can't possibly...

Oleg_Huzwog








I lol'd at the OP.

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Warhawk_

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#29 Warhawk_
Member since 2006 • 1497 Posts

If he was really Darth Vader he would use the Force and a Lightsaber instead of a pistol. Some Star Wars fan that guy is. Sheesh.

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KidCudi37

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#30 KidCudi37
Member since 2010 • 3535 Posts
LMFAO. That is pretty epic honestly. Can you even image what was going on in the head of the clerk he was robbing?Chucckstarr
This. That would be a awesome thing to witness. Only if he had 5 storm troopers with him.
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travisstaggs

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#31 travisstaggs
Member since 2008 • 10562 Posts

Thats just hilarious. :lol:

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Xx_Hopeless_xX

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#32 Xx_Hopeless_xX
Member since 2009 • 16562 Posts

Props to the robber for being creative..

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blazinpuertoroc

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#33 blazinpuertoroc
Member since 2004 • 12245 Posts

Clerk was probably trying to hold back from laughing.. I know I would be lol

Espada12

I just pictured me being the clerk trying to hold in my laugh then I get shot in the chest and I just LOL hard.

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kweeni

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#34 kweeni
Member since 2007 • 11413 Posts
I lol'd