Did your parents spank you as a child?

No. My mom always told me that her dad was very liberal in doling out corporal punishment, and the only thing that she really learned from it was that she never wanted to dothe sameto her children.

my mum once washed my mouth out with soap when i told her to **** off.

wayne_kar

Like twice....

No. My mom always told me that her dad was very liberal in doling out corporal punishment, and the only thing that she really learned from it was that she never wanted to dothe sameto her children.

GabuEx

And look how you turned out. Iknew there was a reason!!:P

I can certainly understand where your mom is comming from.

A couple of times, yes. It was reserved for serious problems, and it was effective.

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

No. My mom always told me that her dad was very liberal in doling out corporal punishment, and the only thing that she really learned from it was that she never wanted to dothe sameto her children.

psychobrew

And look how you turned out. Iknew there was a reason!!:P

I can certainly understand where your mom is comming from.

Personally I'm OK with minor corporal punishment as a last resort when the kid is just way too young to understand logic or reason and really only responds to "pain = bad", but once the kid is intelligent enough that he will understand what you're telling him or her, then in my view corporal punishment just becomes complete laziness on the part of the parent. It's rather hard to teach your kid not to hit others to get what you want when you're hitting your kid to get what you want.

Yes, and I'm glad they did. My neighbors don't spank their children and they are the most ill-behaved children I've ever seen.

My dad used to but my mom never did. The problem with my dad's method was that he would only punish me that way and not my sister. My mom, on the other hand, would take things away from me (favorite toys, video games, no tv, etc.) if I misbehaved. Which is a better way to punish a child, in all honesty.

Did your parents spank you as a child? backinthekrak

I got spanked and hit with a wooden spoon, it hurt lol

They couldn't. It's illegal to spank your kids in Sweden. Poor mom and dad, they had to actually pay attention to us and teach us real discipline and genuine respect for them instead. :?ChiliDragon

Well, it's much easier to just hit your kid and deal with the issues that causes later. And in America, we're quite fond of doing things the easy way, it seems.

[QUOTE="ChiliDragon"]They couldn't. It's illegal to spank your kids in Sweden. Poor mom and dad, they had to actually pay attention to us and teach us real discipline and genuine respect for them instead. :?Dark_Knight6

Well, it's much easier to just hit your kid and deal with the issues that causes later. And in America, we're quite fond of doing things the easy way, it seems.

Yes, because we NEVER say why we're spanking them. Nope, just whip the belt out and start blindly hitting. I mean, why do both?

[QUOTE="psychobrew"]

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

No. My mom always told me that her dad was very liberal in doling out corporal punishment, and the only thing that she really learned from it was that she never wanted to dothe sameto her children.

And look how you turned out. Iknew there was a reason!!:P

I can certainly understand where your mom is comming from.

Personally I'm OK with minor corporal punishment as a last resort when the kid is just way too young to understand logic or reason and really only responds to "pain = bad", but once the kid is intelligent enough that he will understand what you're telling him or her, then in my view corporal punishment just becomes complete laziness on the part of the parent. It's rather hard to teach your kid not to hit others to get what you want when you're hitting your kid to get what you want.

[QUOTE="backinthekrak"]Did your parents spank you as a child? ChiliDragon

Yes, because we NEVER say why we're spanking them. Nope, just whip the belt out and start blindly hitting. I mean, why do both?

phillo99

If your kid genuinely understands why what they did was wrong and why they should not do it again, then what is the point of the spanking?

And if your kid does not genuinely understand that, how is physical pain going to make them understand?

Yes, because we NEVER say why we're spanking them. Nope, just whip the belt out and start blindly hitting. I mean, why do both?

phillo99

I don't know about you but when I have kids, I want them to respect me. I don't want them to fear me.

That's actually great when a child will listen to reason, but there are some kids that just don't care -- at least temporarily. When a child is having a temper tantrum, how do you talk sense in to them?psychobrew

There are plenty of forms of non-corporal punishments. Taking toys away, time-outs in the corner, et cetera. Stuff like that gives them time to think and reflect on what's going on and why it's happening. Plenty of research has been done on the subject of corporal punishment, and the conclusion is pretty clear: it is effective at causing the short-term cessation of a negative behavior, but utterly useless as far as long-term behavioral improvement goes. It teaches the child absolutely nothing about why they ought not to do something; the child simply learns that doing it around their parent equals pain.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

Yes, because we NEVER say why we're spanking them. Nope, just whip the belt out and start blindly hitting. I mean, why do both?

Dark_Knight6

I don't know about you but when I have kids, I want them to respect me. I don't want them to fear me.

I respect and love my parents. They disciplined me. It's just that you were implying that verbal and corporal punishments were mutually exclusive.

Gabu: A child doesn't think that far. They don't think "If I do this, then others will be sad". Therefore, a physical punishment is needed. Children will respond more to physical pain.

Sure, if I did anything bad I got spanked, but I sure did shape up quickly.

Look at what has happened since corporal punishment is so "awful" and has been replaced with liberalism for rearing children: they bring guns to schools and kill their classmates.

Liberalism just doesn't work - for children nor government.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

Yes, because we NEVER say why we're spanking them. Nope, just whip the belt out and start blindly hitting. I mean, why do both?

Dark_Knight6

I don't know about you but when I have kids, I want them to respect me. I don't want them to fear me.

Kids arn't rational. They are not gonna respect you because they think you are a swell guy.

I respect and love my parents. They disciplined me. It's just that you were implying that verbal and corporal punishments were mutually exclusive.

phillo99

So do I. It's just that it took a long time for me to stop fearing my dad and start respecting him. And sorry if it came across that way. I meant to imply that it's a terrible way to discipline a child.

[QUOTE="psychobrew"]That's actually great when a child will listen to reason, but there are some kids that just don't care -- at least temporarily. When a child is having a temper tantrum, how do you talk sense in to them?GabuEx

There are plenty of forms of non-corporal punishments. Taking toys away, time-outs in the corner, et cetera. Stuff like that gives them time to think and reflect on what's going on and why it's happening. Plenty of research has been done on the subject of corporal punishment, and the conclusion is pretty clear: it is effective at causing the short-term cessation of a negative behavior, but utterly useless as far as long-term behavioral improvement goes. It teaches the child absolutely nothing about why they ought not to do something; the child simply learns that doing it around their parent equals pain.

Gabu: A child doesn't think that far. They don't think "If I do this, then others will be sad". Therefore, a physical punishment is needed. Children will respond more to physical pain.

phillo99

And that, right there, sums up the problem so many parents have: underestimation of their children. Children are not dumb, programmable robots; after a certain age, which tends to be earlier than most think, they are thinking human beings. It is not enough to just say "don't do this"; the child needs to know why they should not do something. "Because I said so" goes a lot further towards making the kid think that his parents are morons than towards making the kid actually understand anything in life.

yes, and I'm glad they did.. Time-outs and lectures just dont work for everything

Kids arn't rational. They are not gonna respect you because they think you are a swell guy.

gatorteen

Really? My mom managed to get me to respect her without any physical punishment. :?

Yes. Hell my baby sitter had permission to spank me.

Never abused, I always deserved it :(

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

I respect and love my parents. They disciplined me. It's just that you were implying that verbal and corporal punishments were mutually exclusive.

Dark_Knight6

So do I. It's just that it took a long time for me to stop fearing my dad and start respecting him. And sorry if it came across that way. I meant to imply that it's a terrible way to discipline a child.

My dad was always the hard disciplinarian. He served in the Taiwanese military. Yet I always realized that he was right in the end and I love and respect him very much. I know that his punishments served me far more in the long term then the short term stinging.

Yes, I used to laugh my mams off, but my dads were real stingers on the butt cheeks, sometimes I was tempted to laugh if me and my brothers had done something funny that got us the spanking, but that would just anger him.

My father did and its child abuse. End of! There is no excuse to hit a child, none.MoonMarvel

Yes their is ! a Mild spank is fine, you let them get away with crap they do it all the time.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

Gabu: A child doesn't think that far. They don't think "If I do this, then others will be sad". Therefore, a physical punishment is needed. Children will respond more to physical pain.

GabuEx

And that, right there, sums up the problem so many parents have: underestimation of their children. Children are not dumb, programmable robots; after a certain age, which tends to be earlier than most think, they are thinking human beings. It is not enough to just say "don't do this"; the child needs to know why they should not do something. "Because I said so" goes a lot further towards making the kid think that his parents are morons than towards making the kid actually understand anything in life.

No. When I was a child, I never thought beyond "I want it and I want it now". So my parents punished me and told me why I shouldn't do that. My neigbors only do the latter and their children are impulsive as can be. And there are other situations of which to educate a child of why not to do something other then when they do something wrong.

Yes, sometimes with a belt, and got my ears twisted too.

My dad was always the hard disciplinarian. He served in the Taiwanese military. Yet I always realized that he was right in the end and I love and respect him very much. I know that his punishments served me far more in the long term then the short term stinging.

phillo99

I still don't feel that my dad's form of punishment has had any positive effects. All it did was make me afraid of him.

[QUOTE="MoonMarvel"]My father did and its child abuse. End of! There is no excuse to hit a child, none.Carl_W21

Yes their is ! a Mild spank is fine, you let them get away with crap they do it all the time.

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

Gabu: A child doesn't think that far. They don't think "If I do this, then others will be sad". Therefore, a physical punishment is needed. Children will respond more to physical pain.

phillo99

And that, right there, sums up the problem so many parents have: underestimation of their children. Children are not dumb, programmable robots; after a certain age, which tends to be earlier than most think, they are thinking human beings. It is not enough to just say "don't do this"; the child needs to know why they should not do something. "Because I said so" goes a lot further towards making the kid think that his parents are morons than towards making the kid actually understand anything in life.

No. When I was a child, I never thought beyond "I want it and I want it now". So my parents punished me and told me why I shouldn't do that. My neigbors only do the latter and their children are impulsive as can be. And there are other situations of which to educate a child of why not to do something other then when they do something wrong.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

My dad was always the hard disciplinarian. He served in the Taiwanese military. Yet I always realized that he was right in the end and I love and respect him very much. I know that his punishments served me far more in the long term then the short term stinging.

I still don't feel that my dad's form of punishment has had any positive effects. All it did was make me afraid of him.

Nope, my parents have better ways of punishing me...

No. When I was a child, I never thought beyond "I want it and I want it now". So my parents punished me and told me why I shouldn't do that. My neigbors only do the latter and their children are impulsive as can be. And there are other situations of which to educate a child of why not to do something other then when they do something wrong.

phillo99

I never said that you should never punish your kids, but corporal punishment is easily the worst of all punishments. It doesn't give the kid any time to reflect; it is something that is easily coped with, especially when it happens a lot;and it's ridiculously hypocritical to boot, given that any child will at some point need to be told not to hit someone to get what they want. In addition to that, as I said, there have been studies done that concluded that an increase in corporal punishment was associated with increased agression and criminal behavior and decreased mental health, with the only positive association being the immediate cessation of the child's behavior. A recent study concluded that "even minimal amounts of spanking can lead to an increased likelihood in antisocial behavior by children."

The bottom line is that with all the other ways parents can more effectively impart on their child what they're looking for, it is really only laziness on the part of the parent - the lack of desire to do anything other than whack, whack to teach their kid a lesson -that would cause them to resort to hitting their kid.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

No. When I was a child, I never thought beyond "I want it and I want it now". So my parents punished me and told me why I shouldn't do that. My neigbors only do the latter and their children are impulsive as can be. And there are other situations of which to educate a child of why not to do something other then when they do something wrong.

I never said that you should never punish your kids, but corporal punishment is easily the worst of all punishments. It doesn't give the kid any time to reflect; it is something that is easily coped with, especially when it happens a lot;and it's ridiculously hypocritical to boot, given that any child will at some point need to be told not to hit someone to get what they want. In addition to that, as I said, there have been studies done that concluded that an increase in corporal punishment was associated with increased agression and criminal behavior and decreased mental health, with the only positive association being the immediate cessation of the child's behavior.

The bottom line is that with all the other ways parents can more effectively impart on their child what they're looking for, it is really only laziness on the part of the parent - the lack of desire to do anything other than whack, whack to teach their kid a lesson -that would cause them to resort to hitting their kid.

[QUOTE="phillo99"]

No. When I was a child, I never thought beyond "I want it and I want it now". So my parents punished me and told me why I shouldn't do that. My neigbors only do the latter and their children are impulsive as can be. And there are other situations of which to educate a child of why not to do something other then when they do something wrong.

I never said that you should never punish your kids, but corporal punishment is easily the worst of all punishments. It doesn't give the kid any time to reflect; it is something that is easily coped with, especially when it happens a lot;and it's ridiculously hypocritical to boot, given that any child will at some point need to be told not to hit someone to get what they want. In addition to that, as I said, there have been studies done that concluded that an increase in corporal punishment was associated with increased agression and criminal behavior and decreased mental health, with the only positive association being the immediate cessation of the child's behavior.

The bottom line is that with all the other ways parents can more effectively impart on their child what they're looking for, it is really only laziness on the part of the parent - the lack of desire to do anything other than whack, whack to teach their kid a lesson -that would cause them to resort to hitting their kid.

[QUOTE="MoonMarvel"][QUOTE="GabuEx"]

I never said that you should never punish your kids, but corporal punishment is easily the worst of all punishments. It doesn't give the kid any time to reflect; it is something that is easily coped with, especially when it happens a lot;and it's ridiculously hypocritical to boot, given that any child will at some point need to be told not to hit someone to get what they want. In addition to that, as I said, there have been studies done that concluded that an increase in corporal punishment was associated with increased agression and criminal behavior and decreased mental health, with the only positive association being the immediate cessation of the child's behavior.

The bottom line is that with all the other ways parents can more effectively impart on their child what they're looking for, it is really only laziness on the part of the parent - the lack of desire to do anything other than whack, whack to teach their kid a lesson -that would cause them to resort to hitting their kid.

nocoolnamejim

[QUOTE="nocoolnamejim"][QUOTE="MoonMarvel"] Debate over right here.MoonMarvel

Yes, I tend to be glad not to be on the opposite side of debates with GabuEx :P.

[QUOTE="MoonMarvel"]

[QUOTE="nocoolnamejim"] The jerk has a way of doing that. :Pchessmaster1989

Yes, I tend to be glad not to be on the opposite side of debates with GabuEx :P.

As do I. I often look at the user opposite of him and think to myself "I'd hate to be in his shoes right about know." :P