Favorite Family Guy Line...

Im not sure which episode it's from...Im not even sure which season it's from.

But Quagmire walks in Peter's house and Louis is pulling up carpet. Quagmire says, "You said you wanted someone to come tear up your carpet...Oh...uh...nevermind...I just thought...nevermind...it's fine".

Or something like that...

Okay, I got another one. Peter is in a book shop looking for potty training books...

Store Attendant: So we have this book, "Everyone Poops". We also have the less popular Catholic version "Everyone poops but you and that's concentrated evil coming out of your ass".

"Meg.....who let you back in?"VinnWaran16

That one is a killer. :lol:

Meg: "Yeah, Brian. Your the new me."

Peter: "Shut up Meg."

Im not sure which episode it's from...Im not even sure which season it's from.

But Quagmire walks in Peter's house and Louis is pulling up carpet. Quagmire says, "You said you wanted someone to come tear up your carpet...Oh...uh...nevermind...I just thought...nevermind...it's fine".

Or something like that...

Okay, I got another one. Peter is in a book shop looking for potty training books...

Store Attendant: So we have this book, "Everyone Poops". We also have the less popular Catholic version "Everyone poops but you and that's concentrated evil coming out of your ass".

bebopoutlaw3gun

Is this what you're thinking of?

*Lois gets mad at Peter for stapling in a red carpet at night to celebrate an awards show*

*She grabs his head and shoves it into the carpet*

Lois: You like that! You like eating red carpet!

*Quagmire overhears this and then faints*

Peter- "So Did you lose your legs and arms?"
Old man with wooden legs and arms "Nooo me father was a tree"

"Lois, get the medical dictionary, and look up 'Fork' and 'Lung'."

"Why?"

"Time's a factor Lois."

[QUOTE="bebopoutlaw3gun"]

Im not sure which episode it's from...Im not even sure which season it's from.

But Quagmire walks in Peter's house and Louis is pulling up carpet. Quagmire says, "You said you wanted someone to come tear up your carpet...Oh...uh...nevermind...I just thought...nevermind...it's fine".

Or something like that...

Okay, I got another one. Peter is in a book shop looking for potty training books...

Store Attendant: So we have this book, "Everyone Poops". We also have the less popular Catholic version "Everyone poops but you and that's concentrated evil coming out of your ass".

Thechaninator

Is this what you're thinking of?

*Lois gets mad at Peter for stapling in a red carpet at night to celebrate an awards show*

*She grabs his head and shoves it into the carpet*

Lois: You like that! You like eating red carpet!

*Quagmire overhears this and then faints*

he's right. it was two different episodes. peter wears footy pajamas, and keeps shocking people so lois asks quagmire to tear up the carpet.

It was one where Meg made the flag girl team or something like that, and then Stewie was like "so you have some where to go when the boys don't call?" and Stewie and Brian start laughing.

Meg: I can't believe i have to change schools because of you. This is all your fault lardo

Peter: Me? I had nothing to do with it!

Meg: No I meant Chris.

Peter: Oh... Yeah, Lardo!

i like the one where Louis is like "peter what did you promise me yesterday" and peter is drunk on the table and replies "that i wouldn't spend all night out" and louis is like "and what did u do?" and peter says "i stayed out all- oh you almost got me there" or something like that lolz

the bee: "Ouch, I done stung myself. Goodbye world."-Advent-

lmfao!!

Meg: I can't believe i have to change schools because of you. This is all your fault lardo

Peter: Me? I had nothing to do with it!

Meg: No I meant Chris.

Peter: Oh... Yeah, Lardo!

i like the one where Louis is like "peter what did you promise me yesterday" and peter is drunk on the table and replies "that i wouldn't spend all night out" and louis is like "and what did u do?" and peter says "i stayed out all- oh you almost got me there" or something like that lolz

2apture-13ound

Peter- "So Did you lose your legs and arms?"
Old man with wooden legs and arms "Nooo me father was a tree"

Hockey_Slayer

Brain - "I think there's trouble at Cleaveland's house"

Peter - "What boy Lassy fell down the well??"

Brain - "What are you, insane!!?"

Brain - "Woof WOof Woof"

Peter - "Trouble at Cleaveland's house let's go!"

[QUOTE="2apture-13ound"]

Meg: I can't believe i have to change schools because of you. This is all your fault lardo

Peter: Me? I had nothing to do with it!

Meg: No I meant Chris.

Peter: Oh... Yeah, Lardo!

i like the one where Louis is like "peter what did you promise me yesterday" and peter is drunk on the table and replies "that i wouldn't spend all night out" and louis is like "and what did u do?" and peter says "i stayed out all- oh you almost got me there" or something like that lolz

Meh___Guy

Oh yeah thats the first episode!

The best part though was when he said "Gotta go to work. After all someones gotta put food on the table" and then he rolls off the table bringing down all of the breakfast with him:lol:

*girls wrestling over beer in an ad on TV*

Lois in disgust: Ugh...I guarantee you that a man made that commercial.

Peter: Of course a man made it, it's a commercial, not a delcious thanksgiving dinner.

peter as a kid: "why did all the dinosaurs die?"

tour guide: "because you touch yourself at night!"

shoeman12

I loled :)

"The worst they have are...drive-by arguments."

"I disagree!"

Keep more coming.

"I felt guilty once...but she woke up halfway through it"

-Quagmire.

The one where Peter sings "Can't Touch Me".

"I love this job more than taffy and I a man who loves his taffy"

-Adam West.

so many...

but I like this one

"do you like that side nipple?you dont cause thats my side nipple"

Peter is snuggling with Lois and she is holding Stewie. Peter reaches oover Lois and rubs Stewies nose. "Ohyour nipples are so hard" he reaches his hand down into Stewie's mouth "You are so ready" Hardest I ever laughedkuenbre

That's awesome! :lol:

My favorite is the one where Brian and Stewie are on a pickup truck full of immigrants and Brian tries to communicate with them.

Brian: Me amo es Brian. *spanish that I can't remember*

Immigrant: That was pretty good, but you don't have to say "es." Just, "Me amo Brian."

Brian: Oh great, you speak English.

Immigrant: No, just that sentence and this one explaining it.

Brian: You're kidding, right?

Immigrant: Que?

Something to that extent. :lol:

I saw one the other day and thought it was pretty funny.

Meg(with a pack of hot dogs in her hand): "I'm going to pretend you are the New York Knicks". :lol:

Thats the first that came to mind

[QUOTE="VinnWaran16"]"Meg.....who let you back in?"UTXII

Ha! Personal favorite.

mine also. i nearly died of laughter

Random guy on gameshow: Can i say one thing? Hi Jesus!

Jesus watching T.V. and phone rings: Oh my god, I know I saw!

Peter: "Ahh a bar mitzvah, thats perfect.... how much for one of those?"

Rabbi: "You cant just buy a bar mitzvah it requires lots of studies." --Episode: When you Wish upon a Weinstein

dallascowboys81

Waiter: And who had the prime rib?

Peter: I haardly think thats any of your business!

Mother Tucker, Season 5

mattius1989

Besides those ones,I can't remember it exactly:

Peter:...I notice everything.

Tv announcer:We're back to star trek.

Peter:Oh my god, Uhura is black!

:lol:

My favorite funny line

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book Peter? Are you sure it wasn't ... nothing?

Peter: Oh yeah

From a recent episode: *Stewie looks out the window and sees his entire family* "It's Lois, Peter, Chris, the dog, and Brian!"

Quagmire: How old are you?
Girl: 16
Quagmire: 18... your first
Girl: MOM!
Quagmire: I like where this going, Giggitty Giggitty Giggitty!

In the pub, God is talking to a girl, God:"Hey there, look what i can do"*gets bottle and pours wine in cup without touching it*

God:"Yea you like that huh?"He uses too much of his power and starts a fire, God:"Oh!Jesus Christ!(Jesus runs in)Get the escalade!"

Stewie: "Huh, I guess I should have gone to that thing"

Quagmire is at the auction
Auctioneer: Here we have a pair of hookers underwear
Quagmire:50 bucks
Auctioneer: She had 9 std's
Quagmire:45
Auctioneer: She wet herself when we caught her
Quagmire:50 bucks

Peter: Its so perfect its retarded!

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

And the whole "Damn nature you scary!" part.

My favorite funny line

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book Peter? Are you sure it wasn't ... nothing?

Peter: Oh yeah

BeakGame