funny things to say to telemarketers?

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kbubba92

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#1 kbubba92
Member since 2006 • 1273 Posts
they call here all the time and its just annoying. what are some funny things to say to them?
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Oleg_Huzwog

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#2 Oleg_Huzwog
Member since 2007 • 21885 Posts

Breathe heavily with an occasional groan.

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Crunchman

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#3 Crunchman
Member since 2003 • 9316 Posts
"You're our 100th caller. Congratulations!"
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Taegukki

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#4 Taegukki
Member since 2005 • 13241 Posts
Nothing, just slam the phone down. I loath telemarketers.
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deshields538

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#5 deshields538
Member since 2005 • 8699 Posts
Ask them to hold and then put some loud music on until they hang up.
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sovereign_22

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#6 sovereign_22
Member since 2008 • 1190 Posts
just keep saying ''hello?'' while they try to talk
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Taegukki

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#7 Taegukki
Member since 2005 • 13241 Posts

Ask them to hold and then put some loud music on until they hang up.deshields538

But theyre not allowed to hang up first...

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kbubba92

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#8 kbubba92
Member since 2006 • 1273 Posts

[QUOTE="deshields538"]Ask them to hold and then put some loud music on until they hang up.Taegukki

But theyre not allowed to hang up first...

:D :D that ought to be funny

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deshields538

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#9 deshields538
Member since 2005 • 8699 Posts

[QUOTE="deshields538"]Ask them to hold and then put some loud music on until they hang up.Taegukki

But theyre not allowed to hang up first...

They are where I live.

Look at it from their point of view, why waste time with this guy with the music when I could be dialing another number right now.

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GP1mil

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#10 GP1mil
Member since 2006 • 994 Posts

Play jokes on them like telling them you are a detective at the crime scene of the person they are calling and start grilling them hilarious questions on how they know this person or whatever

Guys should check a comedian out named Tom Mabe, he pulls pranks all the time and I try the same on some just to see how they react.

www.tommabe.com

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nintendo_ds_06

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#11 nintendo_ds_06
Member since 2006 • 2657 Posts
My grandad once had one offering him a free laptop if he gave them his credit card details here is what he said

"i dont want a new laptop, im trying to get rid of mine actually its better than the one you are trying to sell me, ill give you it what is your address i'll send it to you" they hung up :)
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Zagrius

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#12 Zagrius
Member since 2002 • 3820 Posts
Try to engage in phone-sex with them.
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WSGRandomPerson

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#13 WSGRandomPerson
Member since 2007 • 13697 Posts
Scream loudly and act like your a girl getting beat.
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BOBBALOOUUUUUU

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#14 BOBBALOOUUUUUU
Member since 2005 • 434 Posts
Start hitting on them. i remeber one called while I was looking up funny pick-up lines on line (very convinient). It was great.
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Zagrius

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#15 Zagrius
Member since 2002 • 3820 Posts

Start hitting on them. i remeber one called while I was looking up funny pick-up lines on line (very convinient). It was great.BOBBALOOUUUUUU

Haha, nice sig. Ah, YGO:TAS is great.

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fiveftwang

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#16 fiveftwang
Member since 2007 • 347 Posts
Seinfeld knows how to handle telemarketers.
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MsCortana

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#17 MsCortana
Member since 2007 • 10565 Posts
Sound a bit choked up and tell them you just filed bankruptcy! That works every time;)
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JML897

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#18 JML897
Member since 2004 • 33134 Posts

Seinfeld knows how to handle telemarketers.fiveftwang

That was going to be my answer.

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shoeman12

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#19 shoeman12
Member since 2005 • 8744 Posts

try this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

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stevenk4k5

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#20 stevenk4k5
Member since 2005 • 5608 Posts
I just cut them off mid sentence like "Yeah, not interested *Click*"
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Masterdj1992

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#21 Masterdj1992
Member since 2007 • 977 Posts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1waHJhb2wxo

GP1MILL refered to this... REALLY hilarious.

If you really want to get rid of one of them for good tell them "I legally request that you take me off your calling list" Then they get all scared and defensive and it works lol.

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Dark__Link

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#22 Dark__Link
Member since 2003 • 32653 Posts

"Would you be interested in blah blah blah..."

"Yes." *hang up*

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darklord888

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#23 darklord888
Member since 2004 • 8382 Posts

"Yes I'm very interested but just hold on I need to turn the oven off"

*50 minutes later*

"Yes I'm back...hello?"

:D

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LoG-Sacrament

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#24 LoG-Sacrament
Member since 2006 • 20397 Posts
"...so...what are you wearing?"
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vogelhut

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#25 vogelhut
Member since 2005 • 667 Posts
I think in Canada now (maybe just Ontario, I'm not sure) you can ask telemarketers to take your number off their calling list. I haven't gotten a telemarketer call for a while :D
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darkIink

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#26 darkIink
Member since 2006 • 2705 Posts
Start making fart noises everytime they try to talk- don't let them, just keep making the noise over their voice. They give up after a minute or so.
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makaveli2344

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#27 makaveli2344
Member since 2007 • 3106 Posts
"Sell me your mom and we'll talk"
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rosesforever89

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#28 rosesforever89
Member since 2007 • 3831 Posts

[QUOTE="fiveftwang"]Seinfeld knows how to handle telemarketers.JML897

That was going to be my answer.

Dang you got there first.
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fiveftwang

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#29 fiveftwang
Member since 2007 • 347 Posts

try this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

shoeman12

Winner. :lol:

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nintendorocks

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#30 nintendorocks
Member since 2004 • 5996 Posts

try this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

shoeman12

That's win.

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GANGSTA287

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#31 GANGSTA287
Member since 2005 • 967 Posts
[QUOTE="shoeman12"]

try this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

nintendorocks

That's win.

it's illegal to impersonate an officer though... still a winner lol...

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Video_Game_King

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#32 Video_Game_King
Member since 2003 • 27545 Posts
Yea, can you hurry this up, I have some sex lines to call.
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firebreathing

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#33 firebreathing
Member since 2005 • 4619 Posts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1waHJhb2wxo

GP1MILL refered to this... REALLY hilarious.

If you really want to get rid of one of them for good tell them "I legally request that you take me off your calling list" Then they get all scared and defensive and it works lol.

Masterdj1992

or you vould could just say "do not call list" and hang up.

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Recycleation

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#34 Recycleation
Member since 2007 • 2758 Posts
"you my baby-daddy! Be prepared to pay child support! Where you been at ****!!!"
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B0Knows

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#35 B0Knows
Member since 2007 • 1094 Posts
tell them that this is a secure line. and ask them why they are calling, accuse them of terrorism, tell them to stay on the line, confirm the trace, then pretend to say we have our suspect on the line, send the unit in.
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Quadrifoglio

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#36 Quadrifoglio
Member since 2006 • 5451 Posts
[QUOTE="shoeman12"]

try this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

fiveftwang

Winner. :lol:

Indeed! "Were you his gay lover?" :lol:

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CJL182

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#37 CJL182
Member since 2003 • 9233 Posts
[QUOTE="Taegukki"]

[QUOTE="deshields538"]Ask them to hold and then put some loud music on until they hang up.deshields538

But theyre not allowed to hang up first...

They are where I live.

Look at it from their point of view, why waste time with this guy with the music when I could be dialing another number right now.

Some tech service (I think it's Dell) people don't have a button or the ability to hang up on people lol. They have to have someone higher up to disconnect for them.

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Impex

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#38 Impex
Member since 2005 • 5532 Posts

No habla ingles.

Or... Mi pene es en fuego!! Or repeat everything they say back to them.

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Kook18

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#39 Kook18
Member since 2006 • 4257 Posts
Try to sell things back to them that you have. I've done it before. They just get really confused. "No, why would I need a broken toaster sir?" "Well why would I need a 5 year subcription to Vouge?"
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WolfWatch

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#40 WolfWatch
Member since 2007 • 882 Posts
Tell them you have a problem. Your nipple is bleeding and what you should do.
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NSR34GTR

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#41 NSR34GTR
Member since 2007 • 13179 Posts
well if they sound asain and they say "hi its christopher speaking" i say "you dont sound like one"
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B05T0N

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#43 B05T0N
Member since 2007 • 7051 Posts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

That.
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N8A

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#44 N8A
Member since 2007 • 18602 Posts
I ask them to hold on and walk away from the phone for a couple minutes. I do the same thing to people that try to sell me things going door to door. "hold on i'll be right back" (goes to Plays guitar hero)
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insano_ninja

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#45 insano_ninja
Member since 2007 • 25 Posts
Ask them to marry you.
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chessmaster1989

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#46 chessmaster1989
Member since 2008 • 30203 Posts
j00 15 @ 1i1 n00b. To get it right, you have to say it: "jay-zero-zero one-five at-symbol one-aye-one enn-zero-zero-bee" :P. Trust me, that will scare them off :D.
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marinerfan182

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#47 marinerfan182
Member since 2005 • 497 Posts
Tell them I'm eating dinner. Then ask for their home phone number so I can call and irritate them during their meal.
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kemar7856

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#48 kemar7856
Member since 2004 • 11783 Posts
reverse the call or rick roll