Girl with Boyfriend, Pt. 2

Ok, so if you guys remember the original thread, which could be found here: http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=26918919, about this girl who already has a boyfriend but I still wanted to try to get with her because I was sure that she had feelings for me. Anyway, we hung out twice last week, and she never once mentioned this new boyfriend. I thought that was kinda weird. Circumstances changed both nights and so I was able to talk to her about how I felt. I decided to call her lastnight and confront her. She said she didn't have to tell me, and that her new boyfriend isn't something she talks about anyway. Ok, that's fine. She really didn't have to tell me but it still would've been nice. Basically, the jist of the entire situation is this: I wrote her a letter a few months ago, back in March, expressing how I felt. She said it was really nice, made her smile, but we never got around to talking about it. During that time, she was already talking to this guy and he was real persistant about being her boyfriend. Because I didn't talk to her about the letter, she went ahead and started to date him. I asked her, if I had talked to her, would things be different. She said it wasn't a fair question and refused to answer. Blah blah blah, anyway, she still has feelings for me, but she won't act on them because she doesn't want to break up with this guy "who's been nothing but nice" to her. I know it's not going to last between them. When I asked her if she was happy with him, she answered in a tone that sounded more like she had to convince herself that she was. She said he's "good enough". I told her that I hope he's the best guy for her, because she doesn't deserve anything less and shouldn't settle for "good enough". She was quiet and her voice turned wavey.

Anyway, what do I do now? I am calling upon the infinite wisdom that is OT to help me out. I don't want to be the guy who she comes to when she realizes that guy isnt right for her, expecting me to give her another shot. Also, I can't be just a friend to her anymore. I've been doing it way too long and I'm tired of it. She is someone who I care for soooo much and it kills me to think of her with someone else. Thanks

i feel your pain boss, but it is hard to walk away from someone that you care very much about, one of the hardest things you might have to do. Not that i am giving advice to do so, but if you decide to it will be hard and you will think from time to time whether you did the right thing. I hope all works out well for you though.

If her boyfriend were to have a suspicious "accident" then he wouldn't be "around" and someone else would have to "entertain" her. If you catch my drift.

As was mentioned in the other thread, if you're so certain that her relationship with this guy is going to end, maintain a cordial relationship, but don't try to force her out of her current one. It will end in due time. Frankly, it doesn't sound like you really care about HER that much. You care about your own desire to be with her. If you care about HER, then let her make her own decisions without your involvement, except if she specifically asks you for your advice.

She knows how you feel and she didn't break up with the guy outright to be with you. That says something - that she is not ready to abandon her current relationship. You've said your piece about making the best choice, so now leave that choice to her. If you force it and she's not that "into" you, then you'll lose both a potential relationship and a friend.

Find a girl who likes you.duxup

But this makes for more interesting threads. :D

If you really love her, then you should do what's best for her. If you think that he is the best guy for her, then you should let them be, unless they split. But it is all up to you.

Think of it as a pet, when it is dying of something painful; you need to put it down. Even though you hate to see go but you know its for the best.

Challenge him to a race to the top of Mt. Everest, the winner gets the girl.

She knows how you feel.

Just make sure to keep in touch with her and when/if her current relationship ends, she will come to you if she wants you.

its rough, almost a catch 22, you want her but dont want to look like a looser and that you have nothing better to do while you wait around for her, but you want her so hmm rock and a hard place.

As was mentioned in the other thread, if you're so certain that her relationship with this guy is going to end, maintain a cordial relationship, but don't try to force her out of her current one. It will end in due time. Frankly, it doesn't sound like you really care about HER that much. You care about your own desire to be with her. If you care about HER, then let her make her own decisions without your involvement, except if she specifically asks you for your advice.

She knows how you feel and she didn't break up with the guy outright to be with you. That says something - that she is not ready to abandon her current relationship. You've said your piece about making the best choice, so now leave that choice to her. If you force it and she's not that "into" you, then you'll lose both a potential relationship and a friend.

pianist

Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

That just means you really like her. Some people are worth waiting for.

I suggest keeping in touch with her, but no longer "chase" her. Go on about your life and you'll find that something will come along to take your mind off her.

Oh and when/if she does come to you, take the relationship slow.

[QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? Maddy_K

Awh!, you're so determined. That's cute--but seriously, leave that girl alone already. Stop trying to push for a relationship(which eventually all guys do when their tired of chasing anyways). Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, don't make it a important matter to form a relationship with her. You'd be surprise that this will give you the greatest chance of winning her over.

All you can do is leave really great impressions during the time you spend with her to give her the gift of missing you. Everything will fall in line if you do everything right after that. But as of right now, this might require much more work then it's worth. As some other people have said--move on to another girl.

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

i don't know ,but as you can see,OT has the answer:...

[QUOTE="pianist"]

As was mentioned in the other thread, if you're so certain that her relationship with this guy is going to end, maintain a cordial relationship, but don't try to force her out of her current one. It will end in due time. Frankly, it doesn't sound like you really care about HER that much. You care about your own desire to be with her. If you care about HER, then let her make her own decisions without your involvement, except if she specifically asks you for your advice.

She knows how you feel and she didn't break up with the guy outright to be with you. That says something - that she is not ready to abandon her current relationship. You've said your piece about making the best choice, so now leave that choice to her. If you force it and she's not that "into" you, then you'll lose both a potential relationship and a friend.

MuddVader

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

If it's "all or nothing" for you, then yes, delete her.

Just know that you're probably ending any chance to be her BF if you do this. That is, unless she really, really likes you and will forgive. But then again, if she did really like you, then she would be with you right now.

life sucks at moments like these, at least you got a variety of advice and no one kind of went wild and crazy lol

Find a girl who likes you.duxup

[QUOTE="West-Coast-G"][QUOTE="Maddy_K"] That you're weak and had nothing better to do with your time than wait around for her. You could set up a precedence of her walking all over you.LosDaddie

If it's "all or nothing" for you, then yes, delete her.

Just know that you're probably ending any chance to be her BF if you do this. That is, unless she really, really likes you and will forgive. But then again, if she did really like you, then she would be with you right now.

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

[QUOTE="LosDaddie"]

[QUOTE="West-Coast-G"] Exactly, and I don't want that. I think I'm going to delete her from my facebook. It's too tempting to click on her name and see what she's up to. Should I let her know that I can't be a friend to her, and that I'm pretty much never going to speak to her again? West-Coast-G

If it's "all or nothing" for you, then yes, delete her.

Just know that you're probably ending any chance to be her BF if you do this. That is, unless she really, really likes you and will forgive. But then again, if she did really like you, then she would be with you right now.

Have a female friend of yours "cheat" with him and then tell the girl about his secret affair.

Have a female friend of yours "cheat" with him and then tell the girl about his secret affair.

shoot-first

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

Ok, I won't remove her, and I won't disappear from her life. I'm just not going to try anymore.West-Coast-G

Good decision.

Like I first suggested, keep in touch with her....and I'd so through facebook.BUT only comment if she makes an interesting blog post.....or posts a really fun pic or something like that. Do not commentjust to comment.

Again, she knows how you feel. IF she wants to be with you, then it will happen. Don't ever think otherwise. Girls are great at letting guys know they want them.

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"]Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

Dude, why make it so dramatic? I mean come on..if you did that you'd never have any chance with her, friend or more than a friend. Just delete her from your facebook, but why tell her you never want to speak to her again? Is that really fair to her? She's doing the right thing...you don't leave one guy for another when you have no reason to.

All you're doing is being selfish and thinking of you; think about what makes her happy. Just leave her be, don't have any long meaningful conversations with her, if she talks to you talk back, but don't get to involved and just let it be for a while. One of two things will happen: she'll wonder why you're no longer chasing after you and seek your attention again or she'll just not care and live her life.

[QUOTE="Maddy_K"][QUOTE="West-Coast-G"] Exactly, and I don't want that. I think I'm going to delete her from my facebook. It's too tempting to click on her name and see what she's up to. Should I let her know that I can't be a friend to her, and that I'm pretty much never going to speak to her again? West-Coast-G

Ok, so she knows how I feel. If and when she breaks up with him, and she comes to me, and I accept that, what does that say about me? West-Coast-G

It says that you have honour and respect her. You shouldn't be waiting on her... but if you're still single when this relationship ends on its own, there's no harm in dating her. Frankly, I don't understand why you're so fully convinced that you'd be a good partner for her. It's easy to think the best of a situation when it benefits you. Reality is rarely so simple.

Find a girl who likes you.duxup

Answer.

[QUOTE="pianist"]

As was mentioned in the other thread, if you're so certain that her relationship with this guy is going to end, maintain a cordial relationship, but don't try to force her out of her current one. It will end in due time. Frankly, it doesn't sound like you really care about HER that much. You care about your own desire to be with her. If you care about HER, then let her make her own decisions without your involvement, except if she specifically asks you for your advice.

She knows how you feel and she didn't break up with the guy outright to be with you. That says something - that she is not ready to abandon her current relationship. You've said your piece about making the best choice, so now leave that choice to her. If you force it and she's not that "into" you, then you'll lose both a potential relationship and a friend.

MuddVader

Did you intend to quote me or the OP? I'm confused, as your post seems to be addressed to West Coast G and doesn't really address anything I wrote...

Believe it or not, if you let it go you'll forget about it. That happened to me almost exactly a year ago, and I've been over it for a while now. Plenty of fish in the sea, my friend...

Fall back and forget about her, find someone who will be truly for you.

Why waste your time trying to be with her, if you actually got to be with her, she could do the same stuff to you as she is doing to the other guy.

Like, giving attention to another dude while you're with her, like she is doing now.