@korvus: yes I've been asked out and still, I insist in paying, the only time I accepted splitting the check was when we went out in group, the check was split between the men.
Even if it goes against equality and whatever, in general the guy should pay unless she really insists or If she specifically asked you out. Then splitting it is fine. If you continue to date, then it's up to you both who should pay for what, though the guy should always offer.
Like I said, it's not exactly fair and there's no objective reason it has to be that way, but that's just what I got taught.
if i took her somewhere she had never been before and it was my suggestion to go there i would pay. if she was asking me out then i wouldnt be expecting to pay for her meal. you guys can say what you want, its not even about the money i just want to see what kind of person she is.
I wouldn't let my woman pay for dinner; unless she turns out to be a feminist, in which case we'll split the bill and never hear from each other again.
I wouldn't let my woman pay for dinner; unless she turns out to be a feminist, in which case we'll split the bill and never hear from each other again.
I wouldn't let my woman pay for dinner; unless she turns out to be a feminist, in which case we'll split the bill and never hear from each other again.
You hate women??? Transphobe!!!
Subjecting a woman to the heinous punishment of buying her a meal is atrocious I know. But again, I'm a misogynist brownie.
@BranKetra: First date isn't normally a costly thing, not in my experience at least. I guess different cultures sorta says how it will go in terms of paying.
You do put invite equal with requested. Personally if I am invited somewhere, it is expected that I will pay for my share there, unless actually stated otherwise. If I were to be requested somewhere or to something, I more or less expect them or they to pay for it. But then again, no one would really put it like that unless it is work related or university (then again I'm paying for that and it would be known in advance. )
@BranKetra: First date isn't normally a costly thing, not in my experience at least. I guess different cultures sorta says how it will go in terms of paying.
You do put invite equal with requested. Personally if I am invited somewhere, it is expected that I will pay for my share there, unless actually stated otherwise. If I were to be requested somewhere or to something, I more or less expect them or they to pay for it. But then again, no one would really put it like that unless it is work related or university (then again I'm paying for that and it would be known in advance. )
For the people saying the guy should always pay; what is your reasoning?
Cause whether you agree with it or not Girls have grown up with the idea/hope that one day they will meet a prince And he will be an attractive, charming and wealthy gent Granted these expectations lower as their experience grows But never the less, these ideals have been ingrained in their mind So no matter what they say, their views on the world or how equal they want everything to be They will always enjoy you paying on the first date Because it is the gentlemanly thing to do No girl goes home from a date and say's to their friends "Gee, I'm glad he let me split the cheque" with nods of agreeance from the other bishes Once you been dating Fair enough; split, she pays, flip a coin But the first one, don't be cheap and just pay
@chaoscougar1: I have no problem with your reasoning =D Like I said, I always get my wallet out but if she does too I'm not going to ruin the date by getting into the "no no, I'll pay...no, I insist, no really, I got this!" dance. If she wants to help pay she has that right and ending a first date by pretty much telling her that your wishes have more weight than hers is not very conductive to a healthy relationship in my opinion. "I'LL PAY! I'M YOUR F'IN PRINCE DAMMIT!!" =P
@chaoscougar1: I have no problem with your reasoning =D Like I said, I always get my wallet out but if she does too I'm not going to ruin the date by getting into the "no no, I'll pay...no, I insist, no really, I got this!" dance. If she wants to help pay she has that right and ending a first date by pretty much telling her that your wishes have more weight than hers is not very conductive to a healthy relationship in my opinion. "I'LL PAY! I'M YOUR F'IN PRINCE DAMMIT!!" =P
She would have to be real insistent But I doubt many of em would be It would generally be out of politeness
I usually pay. Unless she insists then we'll split it. Never crosses my mind to let her pay for it. More often than not if its a serious date date, then she will put more effort into it than I can anyway. Hair, clothes, nails, shoes, purse etc. The only way a guy can usually compare is if they show up in a tuxedo. Least I could do is pay for the dinner.
Never really had a traditional first date like that but whenever I've been out for meals the bill has been split. If you invite someone out for dinner who you barely know though you should be picking up the bill I guess. I certainly don't think a man should always pick up the bill for dinner though, if we all want to be equal in life that should apply to all aspects of life.
@BranKetra: First date isn't normally a costly thing, not in my experience at least. I guess different cultures sorta says how it will go in terms of paying.
You do put invite equal with requested. Personally if I am invited somewhere, it is expected that I will pay for my share there, unless actually stated otherwise. If I were to be requested somewhere or to something, I more or less expect them or they to pay for it. But then again, no one would really put it like that unless it is work related or university (then again I'm paying for that and it would be known in advance. )
I view invite more like a wish.
I do not think that the meanings of an invitation and a request are different to the point that they can be applied to this situation with greatly distinct difference.
The definition of invite:
make a polite, formal, or friendly request to (someone) to go somewhere or to do something.
The definition of request:
an act of asking politely or formally for something.
I am not seeing how they cannot be utilized interchangeably in regards to this situation as I did. Perhaps it is a social colloquialism of which that I am, now, being made aware.
@BranKetra: To me there's quite a big difference between "Want to go for dinner at the Akropolis next Friday?" (invitation) and "We should go out on Friday" (request). On the first one the person is clearly inviting you for dinner, on the second one there is no clear invite, merely the expression of a desire...furthermore the second case will probably make you say "Sure, let's go eat at Ceasar's" in which case you were the one who extended the invitation, not the person who first expressed the wish to go out.
@korvus: In both cases you are presenting, I feel that they can be viewed as either a request or an invitation. I say that because of the variability of the one you call a request. In both cases, another person is saying that they would like to experience an event with another person. With that said, even as a request, a person is asked to experience something which requires the time of the one who made the request. It is an invitation to experience something with another person.
To me, that request seems more commanding than than requesting, anyway; "We should go" versus someone saying that he or she would like for us to go. The difference is in politeness, there.
@BranKetra: To me it expresses a wish of wanting to experience something with another person but not an invitation to do so. The way I see it it's a bit of a passive-aggressive thing to do =P If I say I want to go for a coffee with you and you say "ok, tomorrow at 6" I can say that I said I wanted to go but you were the one who invited me.
@BranKetra: To me it expresses a wish of wanting to experience something with another person but not an invitation to do so. The way I see it it's a bit of a passive-aggressive thing to do =P If I say I want to go for a coffee with you and you say "ok, tomorrow at 6" I can say that I said I wanted to go but you were the one who invited me.
That seems like a mutual agreement than an invitation, but I am still considering the importance of the time management of each person. With that in mind, it a request still appears to me as an invitation.
I understand that they are different concepts. In the cases presented, they are viewed differently than one another, but an argument can be made to the contrary.
who ever is slower, when you see the waiter coming to bring the bill, both people should attempt to get up and run away from the table. Whoever gets up first doesn't have to pay.
Well either that or I would tell the girl I am fine covering her meal (and getting to take home the left overs) but she will have to pay for any alcoholic beverages she orders. I call that the food stamps policy.
What you guys should do is tell the girl that you always considered yourself and her to be a league together and then follow up with "and I am the Ra's al Ghul of this league".
@whipassmt: She'd probably tell you to go jump in a Pit.
Yeah but the Pit keeps one youthful for far longer than any skin cream she can possibly use. Hey maybe instead of being an assassin Ra's should go legit and sell a youth cream with his special Pit extract.
What you guys should do is tell the girl that you always considered yourself and her to be a league together and then follow up with "and I am the Ra's al Ghul of this league".
@BranKetra: But "that sort of thing" do you mean they like being told what to do/playing a subordinate role, that they would like a powerful man like Ra's al Ghul who could easily defend them and has a League of Assassins at his beck and call, or that they like a guy who says weird stuff about comic book villains?
@BranKetra: But "that sort of thing" do you mean they like being told what to do/playing a subordinate role, that they would like a powerful man like Ra's al Ghul who could easily defend them and has a League of Assassins at his beck and call, or that they like a guy who says weird stuff about comic book villains?
The latter, but studies have shown that females like powerful men as well, though I would not say that Ra's al Ghul can always easily defend someone. Batman defeats him multiple times.
@korvus: Nope. Special Nanda Parbat water extract would sell better.
"Hello guys, I am Ra's al Ghul, I have been in charge of the League of Assassins for centuries, yet I don't look much older than later 30s or early 40s. What's my secret? You see I have special waters in Nanda Parbat that have kept me young for centuries. My league and I guard these waters, so you won't be able to get them anywhere else. But for a limited time you can get this special tv offer, my special Ra's al Ghul water extract skin cream for the low price of just $59.99 - plus shipping and handling -. You can look like you're 20 when you're really 220. Act fast this deal is like the people on the League's list of targets - it won't last long. Hurry up and call 1-800-Assassins to order my special Ra's al Ghul youth cream. Call now."
Also it depends on if the woman is conservative or liberal. If she's conservative she'll expect the man to pay. If she's liberal, she'll want the government to pay, so you can expect Obama to pick up the tab for you.
Im kinda shocked that so many people here insist that the guy should pay the bill. Sure I dont mind paying the first time, second time perhaps even, but I see nothing wrong with splitting the bill or even her paying. What happened to gender equality? =P
Also it depends on if the woman is conservative or liberal. If she's conservative she'll expect the man to pay. If she's liberal, she'll want the government to pay, so you can expect Obama to pick up the tab for you.
Best post of the thread.
Woohoo! I won best post of the thread.... Yeah, All I do is win,win.win no matter what!
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