Have you ever felt like seeing loved ones suffer is slowly killing you inside?

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TheNewEraIcon

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#1 TheNewEraIcon
Member since 2009 • 12196 Posts

My dad had an aneurysm about 2 years ago, and ever since he's had to deal with the health issues that came along with it. As well as losing most of his cognitive ability and stuff like that. Its hard, having to see someone who was once so strong and independant in that kind of state... you just feel so bad when you see something like that. You still love the person, but you just wish that they could be doing and feeling better...I spoke with the doctor today, and they don't know if he has much time left.

Usually I'm such an upbeat and happy kinda guy who prefers to be optimistic, but I guess it just hit me kinda hard. Anyways have any of you guys ever gone through or felt something like that?

Sorry if this is venting to much about stuff people probably don't care much about, lol I mean no harm :)

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TheMightyHoov

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#2 TheMightyHoov
Member since 2009 • 2459 Posts

Its a personal matter. Yall dont need to know.

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Bigboss232

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#3 Bigboss232
Member since 2006 • 4997 Posts

I have never had anything like that happen to me yet sorry to hear about your situation though.

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IronBeaver

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#5 IronBeaver
Member since 2009 • 1986 Posts

Hang in there man.

P.S. if any mod locks this and says "this belongs in your blog", that mod has no heart.

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mrbojangles25

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#6 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 60828 Posts

five years ago my grandfather had surgery (at the urging of my mom and my aunt) to essentially clean out one of his arteries. At the time he was 88. Thats a good run. Had he not opted for the surgery, chances are he would have died in his sleep or at worst spontaneously at lunch one day. That would have been sad, but hey...we all gotta go.

So he gets the surgery. And he is 93 now. And he fell about four months ago and bonked his head really good. He cannot remember anything; he has to live in assisted living, which is essentially a cross between a hotel room and a hospital room. He drinks thickened water which he dislikes incredibly to prevent the fluid from going into his lungs and getting pneumonia. He doesnt remember my name half the time, nor the rest of my families.

He is a shadow of his former self.

I know why my mom and her sister urged him to get that surgery, and while I do not resent them for it, I strongly disagree. I cant help but think that he should have died with grace a few years ago as opposed to his current state.

I just feel like he stole time from death in a sense, and death is pissed and making him suffer for it. My father and I talked about this once, and he made me promise that if he was ever at that point and/or age, that we would do nothing to prolong his life

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Hallenbeck77

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#7 Hallenbeck77  Moderator
Member since 2005 • 16892 Posts
[QUOTE="IronBeaver"]

Hang in there man.

P.S. if any mod locks this and says "this belongs in your blog", that mod has no heart.

No need to worry about that. He's asking if anyone else has experienced the same thing he has, so it's a valid topic for discussion. I wish I can say something that can help. All I can say is stay strong, and just be there for your dad.
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Link334

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#8 Link334
Member since 2007 • 6082 Posts
No I hate it too.
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NiteLights

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#9 NiteLights
Member since 2010 • 1181 Posts

Sorry to hear that bro, just hang in there.

And yeah, I've felt like that a few times.

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TroubleMaker411

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#10 TroubleMaker411
Member since 2009 • 1445 Posts

Hey man.

Really sorry to hear your situation. Myself and my family went through something similar with my grandmother a couple of years ago.

Watching someone suffer like that, especially when that person used to be very active, or in my experience, was the single cleverest person i have ever met, slowly lose the ability to walk, or talk, or whatever is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through.

Nothing that anyone says can make you feel any better about it.

But, like others have said, the best thing you can do is stay strong.

For yourself, for your family, and most importantly for your dad.

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harashawn

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#11 harashawn
Member since 2008 • 27620 Posts
Seeing my grandfather's health slowly deteriorate saddens me greatly. You just have to remain strong so they can do the same.
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positivebalance

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#12 positivebalance
Member since 2010 • 2352 Posts

i wouldn't be able to handle it if my loved ones suffered. i am extremely sorry for you TC. i hope your father gets better soon. :(

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Vader993

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#13 Vader993
Member since 2010 • 7533 Posts

i hope your dad gets well soon;)

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testfactor888

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#14 testfactor888
Member since 2010 • 7157 Posts

I am sorry for what you are having to go through. Yes I have gone through similar things I just rather not get into all of them as it starts to depress me. I will talk about this though as its the most recent and am still going through it.

For the past few days I have been taking care of my neighbors animals as his family is with him in the hospital. When he got there they we're amazed that he made it to the hospital alive as he had a blood clot and they had to do open heart surgery. I have not heard from the family in nearly 2 days now since we heard the news that he was going into surgery.

I just go to his house twice a day to take care of his animals and make sure things are taken care of. I don't know if he has passed away or not. It is not a direct family member but he is a really close friend. Either way as I said originally good luck to you and your family and I hope things work out.