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OffTopic_Man

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#1 OffTopic_Man

Member since 2009 • 32 Posts

Sorry this is so long everyone, you don't have to read the spoiler unless you want some background information. [spoiler] So a few months ago my friends were telling me about how Junior high school was the worst possible thing imaginable. They told me that there was no recess and bad food! Also they said that large people beat small people freshman people like me up alot which is not true right? I don't konw if it's true so I was wondering will they beat me up? At first I was like" Nahhh I wont get beat up, by then I'll have lots of muscels and a beards toupee so the big men won't want to mess with me" But as the day drew closer I suddenly realized I did not become the heavily musceld chisle man master I thought I would. I'm really scrawny and 4'9 and 13 and there are like 16 year old people in there I think with chest hair and they'll beat me up alot for sure I think right? I asked my parents what to do but they just started laughing at me. Sometimes now I just look at them and they burst out laughing. I think I'm going to die. My parents say I will probably blossom into a beautiful young boy some day but that day may not come if I get beat up in the process and lose limbs. My parents offered to drive me to school and walk me to all my cIasses on the first day but i thought i would get beat up anyway. I BET they wouldn't even try to help me if they say me getting killed and stabbed in Jr high they'd probabalby BURTS OUT LAUGHING like they usually do to me normally every day almost you know?? Also, I was planning on going in for counseling maybe taking some medication but it's expensive and I only have $2 so I was trying to sell stuff on ebay like my biology tapes but no one wants to buy them and idk why because they're really good quality and almost completely working. So also I was planning on getting a job but that may be scariers because OLD PEOPLE could beat me up instead of big kids in junior high so that doesnt' solve my problem. I don't even know what medication would do anyway. I wanted counseling not medication! Maybe theres muscle building pills but I can't take them because my system is sensitive and frail so I might vomit which i don't like because it's kind of scary to me. Plan B for me was bringing weapons like grenades and stuff but then I would have to deal with all the legal matters with the cops and lawyers. And then I would need a tv crew to film it all because something like that that's that epic that cannot definitely NOT go without getting posted on sites like youtube, vimeo, gamespot, yahoo news etc. I guess if i went to court i could bring the grenades or maybe like a sword/shield combo. like in World of Warcraft. Meh nvm I don't want to get into WoW right now I will though in a few paragraphs. Anyway about the lawyer situations maybe a pole or something I can fit in my pants would work. BUT the problem with putting a pole up there would be that I need to use karate or chow mein or some crazy moves like that to swing the pole around my head and throw it at people. Backflips would work best for me because front flips frighten me, because it's like seeing in front of you while your falling upwards in the direction your flipping or something. But I don't even HAVE money for karate cIasses which is why I need a job or maybe medication. Medication costs money so I need a job though. LOL what am I saying! NO! I wanted counseling but my PARENTS just LAUGHED AT ME! They think it's all a JOKE that I'll get beat up but yeah when I show up at my house dead tomorrow I'll be laughing at THEM! The problem with self defense is that I have no skills in self defending even though I play alot of Super Smash Brothers melee. I don't have the new version yet. I need money for a Wii but I don't have any because I need a job but no one's hiring. I blame Obama. His change = my sorrow. I HATE him. Even if I did have money for a Wii I don't know if it would save my life when getting shot at by gangster bullies with ak-47's and chest hair at Junior High. I mean if I was playing alot of Super Smash Brothers Brawl I could swing my arms around over my head and behind my legs really fast like in the game which would be helpful. But if I had money for the Wii, I could afford karate lessons instead, or medication. Also, maybe chest hair pills could work but I don't like to get into that sort of thing. It's just not natural to me. Of course, no offense to you Gamespot OT users who do it but I don't think that's my kind of thing for now. Maybe I'll get lucky and get chest hair next week. You know, I think the real reason I am at risk of getting beat up is because of the government, and of course, Barack Obama. He wants "change" or whatever and is trying to build character at my school. I know most of the Gamespot posters here at OT like Obama, but I don't cause he's getting me beat up and trying to build my character. Maybe the bullies are hired by him at to my school to stab me. Okay, so I figured out why Obama wants his Healthcare bill program to go through! HE wants ME to get my character built by getting beat up, right? He hires the bullies to get me beat up, and I go to the hospital. I will lose a ton of money (which I don't have and need to buy medication, karate cIasses, and chest hair pills). OBAMA will get all of my money, and surely get enough to pay the bullies for beating me up. Then I won't be able to buy grenades and a Nintendo Wii with a Nunchuck Controller to defend myself, thus forcing me to buy some CHEAP AND STUPID XBOX 360! So then Japan will lose money, and Obama will get the American ecomony strengthened by making me buy an Xbox 360! Which has NO TOOLS for helping me with self defense when I get beat up again. Thus, the cycle will repeat the next time I get attacked and shot at in Junior High. Thanks Obama, really... Thanks... With my "character" built up after getting stabbed so many times in high school, I'll eventually require constant medical attention and never have any money. But I won't care anymore, since my character will become so strong and I will be indifferent to the situation. OBAMA IS CREATING INDIFFERENT ZOMBIES THAT WILL ELECT HIM IN THE NEXT ELECTION. Don't believe me? We'll see. If he gets a 2nd term that will prove it. Yeah, he'll take over Gamespot and make you all pay high medical bills too. But YOU people don't care since you just LOOOOVVVEEE OBAMA!! Huh? Yeah. That's what I THOUGHT OT! The school principal SEEMED like an obvious answer, but he could have chest hair too just like the people who will shoot me with guns in Junior High so that's out of the question. If he was actually a female, then I could be safe since I don't think females have chest hair. Then, I could level up my athletics skill in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion which could help me in real life to run fast from the AK-47's and go to the pricipal's office. But if the principal is a female and actually DOES have chest hair, then this is a very dangerous situation. I'm hoping that the principal will not have chest hair. It would really suck if he/she did. Another problem with this plan is that I heard it takes FOREVER to level up athletics in Oblivion, and I only have 1 day before I could possibly get stabbed or shot at school. I need a track and field coach but they cost money too which I don't have. There are better options that I could spend my money on. I have a new list I would like to show you, which represents all of my options for possible self-defense mechanisims. I think Gamespot OT will be quite impressed with this. So this is my plan of action if I were to have money: 1. Medication - to calm my nerves 2. Counseller - to follow me around all day and get beat up by the bullies instead of me 3. Nintendo Wii - to allow me to play Super Smash Brothers: Brawl and allow me to flail my fists in impossible directions 4. Chest Hair Pills - to BECOME one of the bullies and be a gangster 5. Leather Jacket - something I just thought of, it would go great with chest hair and intimidate everyone 6. Pole that fits in pants/jacket - for self defense 7. Karate lessons - only if I can get the pole... this will aid in self defense, but the Wii may be more effective This seems like a logical plan, but I REALLY don't like the idea of CHEST HAIR PILLS. I also have a swallowing condition so if Gamespot OT knows of any powdered form of these pills, please let me know. Yes, now, I have found one awesome way to earn money for these items I listed above. I am a level 80 Warlock in World of Warcraft, and I an quite professional with all of my auctioning and gold earning businesses. I have earned much respect on my server and am well-known by the community. This would break my heart, but, I could become and foreign gold seller on the internet. This job would very likely get my enough money to buy anything I desire, I could even get as much as thousands of dollars and bribe the bullies to stop listening to Obama and officially BREAK the cycle of his healthcare program. (See paragrahs 5 through 7 for more information) Ok, that's the background info. Sorry this was so long. [/spoiler] Ok, basically, I'm 13, weak, and frail. I'm a little nerdy and I probably have a good chance of getting beat up by people in junior high... Does anyone have any good tips on how to avoid getting beat up in Junior high tomorrow? I'm running out of ideas. Thanks. :)

15 years ago

DigitalExile

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#2 DigitalExile

Member since 2008 • 16046 Posts

*Clicks Spoiler tag*

...

*Replies with "..."*

Glad I could help!

15 years ago

CrimzonTide

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#3 CrimzonTide

Member since 2007 • 12187 Posts

Dump your lunch on the first older, bigger kid you see. They will stay away from you after that out of fear.

15 years ago

ice144

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#4 ice144

Member since 2005 • 3350 Posts

Don't go.

15 years ago

Head_of_games

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#7 Head_of_games

Member since 2007 • 10859 Posts

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS AN OBLIGATORY RESPONSE Kill them with fire.

15 years ago

ChampionoChumps

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#8 ChampionoChumps

Member since 2008 • 2381 Posts

tl;dnr

15 years ago

Roxas12934

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#9 Roxas12934

Member since 2006 • 1854 Posts

Wear some of your moms perfume and they won't even be able to smell your man fear :)

15 years ago

OffTopic_Man

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#10 OffTopic_Man

Member since 2009 • 32 Posts

You don't have to read the spoiler... that's why I made it a spoiler. I just need tips to avoid getting beat up in school.

15 years ago

Razor-Lazor

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#11 Razor-Lazor

Member since 2009 • 12763 Posts

tl;dnrChampionoChumps

Brilliant. I agree.

15 years ago

adv_tr00per

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#12 adv_tr00per

Member since 2006 • 2605 Posts

did you really type all that or copy paste from somehwhere?

15 years ago

tzar3

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#13 tzar3

Member since 2006 • 12393 Posts

The moment I read "grenades" I knew right away this is a joke post...

15 years ago

flordeceres

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#14 flordeceres

Member since 2005 • 4662 Posts

I see you took my advice.

Good

:V

15 years ago

Kikouken

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#15 Kikouken

Member since 2006 • 15913 Posts

Wish for super powers before you go to bed.

15 years ago

raven_squad

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#16 raven_squad

Member since 2007 • 78438 Posts

Learn to wield Nunchaku... or Sais...

15 years ago

D0ub13_5c0r3

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#17 D0ub13_5c0r3

Member since 2009 • 2084 Posts

Run as fast as you can.

15 years ago

deactivated-5ac102a4472fe

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#18 deactivated-5ac102a4472fe

Member since 2007 • 7431 Posts

how about going there relaxed, and not look like a nerve wreck?

If anyone is going to be targeted in school, its the ones who looks scared, so simply dont, and if you do any needless things to attract unwanted negative attention, its a lost cause :s

I would NOT try acting really hard, they are usually the first to be broken, nor a whimp... and If you got a good sence of humor but are not overly eager to say something funny, itll be allright.

Ive heard that American schools are notorious,but just take it east, and makesure your first impression on people aint a bad one. Being small israrely grounds for getting beat up, being a pain in the arse IS however.

15 years ago

OnlyKurial

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#19 OnlyKurial

Member since 2009 • 1102 Posts

*Clicks Spoiler tag*
...
*Replies with "..."*
Glad I could help!
DigitalExile

That's exactly how I reacted.

15 years ago

RuffRyder101

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#20 RuffRyder101

Member since 2008 • 274 Posts

Its all hype kid. Everyone thinks that on their first day of high school that they are going to get beat up, but the truth is that you are not. Now about you being a wimp, you gotta eat up, get a little chubby and then start working out. You probably cant even due 10 push ups in a row so take it slow and workout a little harder each day.

15 years ago

GodofBigMacs

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#21 GodofBigMacs

Member since 2008 • 6440 Posts

Dude you won't get beat up. Just stay with your friends and don't do anything stupid. Then again, I din't read the spoiler.

15 years ago

JML897

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#23 JML897

Member since 2004 • 33134 Posts

Then again, I din't read the spoiler. GodofBigMacs

If you did, you'd know this is a joke topic. :P

15 years ago

sacredtext62

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#24 sacredtext62

Member since 2009 • 171 Posts

So what you're saying is....there is no actual imminent thread for you to get attacked by anyone, yet you are concerned that it just might "happen". Come back when you actually have someone in specific who wants to beat you up.

15 years ago

OffTopic_Man

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#25 OffTopic_Man

Member since 2009 • 32 Posts

[QUOTE="OffTopic_Man"]You don't have to read the spoiler... that's why I made it a spoiler. I just need tips to avoid getting beat up in school.Lilyanne46

Be the bigger person! Tell an adult, or your mommy, or daddy. =3

My mom and dad won't listen, they just laugh at me.

15 years ago

Kikouken

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#27 Kikouken

Member since 2006 • 15913 Posts

[QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]
[QUOTE="OffTopic_Man"]You don't have to read the spoiler... that's why I made it a spoiler. I just need tips to avoid getting beat up in school.OffTopic_Man

Be the bigger person! Tell an adult, or your mommy, or daddy. =3

My mom and dad won't listen, they just laugh at me.

Your parents laugh at the idea of their son getting beat up? :lol:

15 years ago

OffTopic_Man

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#28 OffTopic_Man

Member since 2009 • 32 Posts

[QUOTE="OffTopic_Man"][QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]
Be the bigger person! Tell an adult, or your mommy, or daddy. =3
Lilyanne46

My mom and dad won't listen, they just laugh at me.

The teacher, principle, me?! =(

The problem with telling an adult is that it will probably get me beat up even more. And also, I don't want to end up in the hospital first, and *then* tell an adult =/

15 years ago

1bigsmoke55

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#29 1bigsmoke55

Member since 2007 • 6856 Posts

lol. just do what they always do. hire someone. aim for the balls btw.

15 years ago

monkeymoose5000

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#30 monkeymoose5000

Member since 2007 • 6111 Posts

You can take them, I know it.

15 years ago

OffTopic_Man

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#32 OffTopic_Man

Member since 2009 • 32 Posts

Wait, how old are you again?
This is too much for a 13 year old!
Lilyanne46

lol I just turned 13 :P

15 years ago

PlzDuntBanMe

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#33 PlzDuntBanMe

Member since 2008 • 3269 Posts

You won't get beat up unless you go to a ghetto ass school.

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#35 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

Don't write that much in school the teacher will just fail you...

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#37 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

[QUOTE="OffTopic_Man"][QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]
Wait, how old are you again?
This is too much for a 13 year old!
Lilyanne46

lol I just turned 13 :P

Oh? I just turned 15. By the way, who's the kid in you icon? :o

Oh really, let me have your digits

15 years ago

XCyberForceX

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#39 XCyberForceX

Member since 2008 • 1223 Posts

Sounds like you're just nervous in going to junior high. Nerves thats it. If you didn't get beat up in elementary then it won't happen in JHS.

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#40 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

[QUOTE="ShortTall"]
[QUOTE="Lilyanne46"] Oh? I just turned 15. By the way, who's the kid in you icon? :oLilyanne46

Oh really, let me have your digits

What's that mean? :?

Lol you can't be serious

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#42 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

[QUOTE="ShortTall"]
[QUOTE="Lilyanne46"] What's that mean? :?Lilyanne46

Lol you can't be serious

I am. :( Please tell me what it means. I need to know. XD

It means let me have your cellphone number, but I was just kidding;)

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#44 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

Oooooohhh. I get it. -giggle-
I feel like such a noob.
Lilyanne46

Also giggles like a school girl, but ANYWAYS i really doubt someone that doesn't even know you is going to beat you up.

15 years ago

RushMetallica

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#46 RushMetallica

Member since 2007 • 4501 Posts

Dump your lunch on the first older, bigger kid you see. They will stay away from you after that out of fear.CrimzonTide

This, and CYNE!

15 years ago

Mr_Leonis

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#47 Mr_Leonis

Member since 2007 • 4615 Posts

*Clicks Spoiler tag* What did I just read? :?

15 years ago

ShortTall

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#49 ShortTall

Member since 2007 • 667 Posts

[QUOTE="ShortTall"]
[QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]
Oooooohhh. I get it. -giggle-
I feel like such a noob.
Lilyanne46

Also giggles like a school girl, but ANYWAYS i really doubt someone that doesn't even know you is going to beat you up.

I strongly agree. If he told us who, we could maybe fix the problem.

You could go ahead nd help em

15 years ago

h2owizard

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#50 h2owizard

Member since 2007 • 1054 Posts

get one of those metal rulers from school and when they come doge their attacks and when the moment is right hack at their necks with it. you dont wanna miss any school.

15 years ago

How do I avoid getting beat up at school tomorrow!? Please help!!

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