A got a seriously nasty temper that it's just wrong, and I tend to get pissed off a lot because there are a lot of things to get pissed off about. I've always had this as far as I can remember. I know what caused it mostly, it comes from living with a family who although not particularly bad in any way, had this thing where if something was upsetting and annoying me they would show no sympathy, even go as far as to provoke me further.
I need an example... Like take for instance the excessive dislike I have for people who eat gross and noisily, you know when they smack their lips and speak with their mouth full, to some it's a trivial thing but for some reason it seriously gets on my nerves. My family knew i didn't like it so they teased me with it, but it was a bad idea as I used to lash out and smack my Brothers in the face if they got to close with it. To this day I avoid being in the room with anyone who I know eats noisy and I've been fully grown a while now. But that's just one example, they did all kinds of stuff like this to me. If I felt wronged in someway never would anyone take to my side, but would always go against me for whatever reason, this would make me even more upset/annoyed and then eventually you just feel like you got to break something or hurt someone so you provide some form of consequence to anyone who is willingly showing such malice towards me.
So yeah it stems from childhood I suppose. I quite like it actually because once I hit that point it's developed into a bitter scorn type rage, like Carrie from Stephen King (except without the cool powers) I don't throw myself around in a blind berserk fury, I go straight for the problem with either a sharp, short and sweet profanity or silent resolve.
The absolute worst thing anyone can possibly do is tell me to shut up when I'm on a rant. That's like a byway route straight to violence, there won't be any warning of what's coming.
These days I'm much more in control with it, I don't go on a rampage for any slight thing I find annoying, and I don't go about taking things out on living beings who just happen to be around at the time, unless they somehow get involved. Oh yeah I got a bit of a drinking problem so that amplifies things a little. I hate all chaves and anyone who shops at Sports World. I hate PE students, I hate people who push their shopping trolly into the back of my heel, I hate people who stink and stand too close to me in the que, I hate people who **** about on the checkout because they want to have a chat with the person on the till while they pay with a coupon or search for a Credit Card that doesn't get rejected, I hate boy racers, I hate our Government, I hate the lies and cheats of our council, I hate a rule for one and a rule for another.
I never recycle my bottles, any damage I can do to this world gives me great satisfaction. Sometimes I think I'm just waiting for an excuse to not be responsible for anything anymore.
So yeah, I got lots of hate unfortunately, enough to go around.
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