How well do you think your parents raised you? How does it reflect your success as an adult now?

I came across a video that made me realize that I lack a lot of discipline and skills to be successful in life. I've always been used to inputting the bare minimum and getting across fairly easily. I thought maybe I'm just smart and I don't need put in the same effort that other successful people do.

That's where I'm wrong. I may be successful at certain points in my life, but as we all know, success isn't linear and you will fail at some point. What you want to do is to understand those failures and analyze what you did wrong, and eventually try again and do things differently.

Part of being a student is to prepare yourself for success and finding a career that suits you. I got neither that from my High School or my parents and I'm learning that rather late in life as an adult (23 years old.) I've been neglected as a child by both my teachers early in elementary and my parents. I had an abusive father, suffered from PTSD, got cancer at 20 years old (likely due to upbringing changing the proteins in my body, which predisposed me to cancer with auto immune disorders), and now as adult, I'm irresponsibly neglecting myself and being abusive to my mental and physical health.

I thought this might help gamers here who are in a similar situation like me and have been used to using video games for the longest time to escape reality to ease anxiety and postpone challenges we refuse to face. There's nothing wrong with playing video games, that's not what I'm saying. But when you use it for the wrong reasons, it can be.

So with that said, did your parents raise you for success?

I'd say they did a pretty good job. I've done well in my academic endeavors so far and I know they've got my back and believe in me.

My grades at primary school were very good, solid at high school and then average at college and university so I definitely got more lazy as time went on. However, my 'life' skills are very good and I credit my parents for this. I am self-sufficient and can run a clean, tidy and successful household (and have been for 8 years) and I know basic things like first aid and changing a tyre and my cooking skills are above average. These things I've learnt from my parents and brother and put them in to practice without much thought.

Career-wise is average. My wage is decent but I'd like it to be higher but I live with my girlfriend, have my own car and can afford to go on holiday so can't be all bad. My parents didn't give me much idea over a career though so I'd consider myself to have had 'jobs' rather than a career path so far.

TL;DR - life skills good, career skills bad.

Yeah I guess they did a pretty awesome job. I have a bachelor in Computer science and work as a lead developer at a swiss bank while being married, all at the age of 29.

They didn't throw me in a boiling pot and eat me for dinner one day.

I think my parents handle me and my 2 sisters well and now, we kinda live the good life on our own now. My Mother was a nurse and my Dad was always on the road, he may not be the man who spends times with the family but he did the best he could for us and always supporting the family by paying bills and making sure we were well fed. My Parents weren't home all the time, me and my sisters had to look out for ourselves and going to school was the best thing to escape the house. I can say I'm glad my parents were able to buy me a SNES, playing games was the best thing to ever happen to me so I won't need to go outside and not putting up with my sisters at all.

My parents may not be around that much, but I think they did what they needed to do and never really care what we do as long as we didn't break the laws which we are thankful for our Dad to teach us from right to wrong. Not only paying video games help me escape reality, at the age of 13, I was always bringing home different girls to the house and my parents never cared who I bring home with so yeah, not the best parents being proactive but I still say they did the best raising me and my sisters.

My parents raised me to think for myself and rarely interfered in anything I wanted to do. At 16 to about 18 I had lost a lot of my sight my late teens and early 20s was learning and dealing with it. Now I have to rely on my parents for a lot of things which doesn't sit right with me. In school I was above average but in the later years as my sight was deteriorating and my education became mind numbing, you can read Macbeth so many times before you start hating it. I stopped caring, same attitude ten years later.

I hate my parents. Sexist( don't even think a married woman should talk to a man unless it's necessary), Homophobic, arrogant, Hypocrites, father is a liar and cheater and completely idiotic. I was an exmuslim in secret but I didn't tell them because My father would have disowned me or at the very least treat me harshly and beat me.

I think my parents did too good of a job, to be honest. I feel like they might have protected me from a lot of shit--either they thought I was too sensitive, too prone to bullying, or something--that would have otherwise turned me into a more productive and stronger person.

I feel like I am a better person than most in an intangible sense and that is due to my parents in many respects, but you know that's all pretty worthless if you're a lazy piece of shit that doesn't do anything with it.

Obviously I don't blame my parents for everything, but all the successful and productive people I know have gone through some sort of struggle or crisis and I'm just wondering if my parents raised me to have blinders on to certain things in the world.

Are you a guy? If so, do you have a hard time relating with other dudes?

My dad was also on the road a lot and both my mom and sister are what you would call strong, independent women and a lot of that really rubbed off on me. I guess as a result I have a hard time relating with guys, it's tough for me to bullshit and pal around with other guys because I did not get any of that from my dad, I never learned any of those lessons, we never talked about girls or anything. I also had what you would call an "old dad" in the respect that he was like 44 when I was born.

I make in a year what took my parents three. I own a nice house on 12 acres of land. Have a beautiful wife, a great kid, and another on the way.

My parents where better than your parents.

@johnd13:

My mother believes in me and tries to give me her wisdom. Just wish her parents had done the same before it was too late.

@goodzorr:

I heavily lack in both. I can't even cook most of my meals. I can clean and have always tried to keep things clean. Job wise, I've built very little skills for it.

@ArchoNils2:

That's really amazing.

@Sam3231:

What?

@davillain-:

Sounds like my mother. Did everything she could to provide but was never there to raise me. My siblings were all pretty dysfunctional in their early 20s, some still in their late 20s. We're slow growers. I have 5 siblings, btw. Plenty of examples to refer to.

@borninblood60:

I'm very sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel better, I too, heavily rely on my parents and I'm not even legally blind.

@nathanbats: "father is a liar and cheater"

That doesn't sound very muslim-ly

@mrbojangles25:

Sometimes the most successful people are taught through countless failures in their life.

@Nuck81:

My mother makes a large sum of income for someone who didn't finish college, where I would probably make somewhat of a similar income for someone like me pursuing a STEM major. She got lucky when the opportunity to get the job she has now, I'd say.

I think I was raised amazingly. I am very fortunate. It's regrettable that it took me so long to realize this but c'est la vie. There were things they could have done better, but every generation will improve upon something....hopefully. I see the same thing on my mom's side of the family. I think most of my cousins were raised well on that side. On my father's side....not so much.

They were completely worthless.They were young,immature and had no idea how to properly raise a child.

I am a total failure on every level.

@Gaming-Planet: No, but Muslims cherry pick their verses. If a verse comes up they don't like "it's not true!!" without providing any reason why. In Islam, adulterers like my father are supposed to be whipped a hundred lashes

@ShepardCommandr: I feel sorry. I wish your parents had an idea on how to raise a child.

@Gaming-Planet: Pretty much, I wasn't raise by my parents much and I guess my Dad never teach me anything about sex so I guess I got into the habit of having sex with different girls since the age of 13. I didn't known any better.

Of course I'm a dude, but at the time, I wasn't into social life like that. All I needed was a video game console to keep my satisfied and I did bring in random girls to the house so I guess I kinda did get out and meet folks.

Edit: When I was 9, I did go to Arcades with a few friends after school which was a cool place to hang out so I did had my fair share of hanging out with the boys.

My parents did an awful job! I wake up everyday surprised that I ever graduated college. Never in a million years thought I would be getting a phd in a field I love.

It makes me happy that I've achieved what I have and what I know I'll achieve in the future, despite all of their crap.

My parents did fine. My teachers taught what they were supposed to teach. I can think on my own. So, everything else falls on me. When I do well, I toot my little horn. If I fail, I blame no one but myself. I'm fine.

My parents were abusive assholes who nearly killed me more times than I can count. Ones of them is dead so Karma only half owes me now.

That being said they were absolutely perfect examples of the kind of person I absolutely did NOT want to become, so I guess they did teach me a lot even if they did it by being the opposite of a role model.

My parents weren't abusive or anything like so there's that at least. Generally though, I think they could have been more hands-on. I honestly don't remember a single thing that they ever taught me. Most of what I learned from other people was from looking at my siblings or just experimenting. My siblings themselves learned what they knew from their friends.

I don't really give shit to my parents about that though. They were working for most part, so they didn't really have the time.

i had/have great parents. they sacrificed so much for my siblings and i. as i've gotten older i'm humbled by it. they fully supported pretty much everything i did, even if they thought it was a bad decision. they pushed just enough to get the personal drive to achieve to kick in, but not too much to become overbearing. they did a great job.

My mother did most of the work. I always use my manners, barely cuss and like to think I'm pretty well presented. My dad always loved me and cared, and was there, but he was doing 55-60 hour weeks. So he was never there for grand finals (AFL, Cricket, Basketball) and was constantly tired when he got home from work. I don't resent or hold any anger towards him, I full understand he worked his backside off to provide the best upbringing for my family.

In regards to success, im not really a successful person. I work full time, about to build a house with my partner and we plan on having kids soon. Successful? Yeah, I guess. Im extremely happy with where I am.

If my parents (father in particular) taught me anything, is to not over work yourself to the point where you miss pivotal moments in your families life.

End blog LUL

My parent, my mom only, try her best. But for me, it just not good enough. I know she did whatever she can, but she just too protective and really bad at parenting. Most of the parents in my country are the same, they don't know how to raise kids properly with moral, teaching them life skills. They just tell you what to do and what not to do. They don't even explain why you have to do those things. The only thing they want from you is obedience, that makes their life easier. And for them, parenting is not something they really should care and spend time to develop.

In the end, i became very dependent, low self-esteem, lack of social skill, lack of confident. Im not talking to nobody and playing with nobody when im in primary school. Worse, i didnt think i can accomplish any task by myself.

If it wasnt that event back when i was 10 or 11 (i don't quite remember) that make me to live apart from her, make me to change. I think i might just be the same.

My parents were 2/3 crappy. Somehow I turned out ok given the circumstances.

@junglist101:

That's good.

@SOedipus:

Yup, I hope to leave something positive behind.

@ShepardCommandr:

I'm very sorry for your upbringing. Hopefully you'll find someone who you can aspire to.

@nathanbats:

Hmm... very similar to a lot of religion. Cherry pick and pick and choose to what you think is right.

@achilles614:

I hope to do the same.

@jun_aka_pekto:

You were raised well.

@korvus:

My father died about 3 years ago. Didn't shed a tear. Tried to kill us as well, so I think I know how you feel.

@vrokespell:

Yup. Some parents don't really have a choice.

@comp_atkins:

That's nice to hear.

@popgotcha:

Yes. cherish the moments you have with others. My mother would work about 80 hrs a week because my father was such a bum.

@vyscelator:

Sounds like a vicious cycle that is now embedded into their culture.

@eliminatorpaige:

Hang in there.

The short answer is not well. I don't have a ton of life skills, though I have some, and I feel like a lot of the things I struggle with are simple to other people. A lot of that I can overcome, especially when it comes to school and studying, but some of it is probably going to be a constant struggle for the rest of my life. Socializing is particularly difficult, and the more I go on the more I realize how much of that is due to my childhood trauma. It's hard to think about all the opportunities I've missed and all the pain I've been through because of it and not hate them, but at the end of the day I tell myself that I did the best with what I was given, which is equally true of them. And besides, they can never have the sort of relationship with me that they want, that's punishment enough without having to add my hatred in. They created their own suffering, no need for me to create more of my own.

@Gaming-Planet: Here's to surviving ;)