Did you seriously just ban him for that post he made? Wow. I mean, if anything at all I would expect a short suspension at most. Don't you think you went a little too far? How is that worthy of banning in the TOU?[QUOTE="ApocalypseMind"][QUOTE="duxup"] Don't let the door hit you on the way out.bobaban
Wow you just registered today, and already are defending some person who posts obsene comments. That's pretty fishy,.
The TC was trying to reach out and he got smacked in the face by some. He deserved whatever punishment he got.
I do have another account, but it's not banned or suspended; and I decided not use it anymore because too many IRL people know it which is an annoyance. If someone I loved just died, I might make a topic on a forum, but it would be just to get it off my chest. I wouldn't care if others made immature jokes about it, they have no relation to me or my loved one and I wouldn't expect them to relate or understand. The only positive I would gain is just letting feelings off my chest to people who don't know me therefore can't really judge me, and possibly find someone who experienced the loss of a loved one and could tell me how they related to it and dealt with it. If people made immature jokes, I wouldn't care and I wouldn't take it personally. I don't know the person, I have never seen them, they have never seen me, they don't know me, so reasonably how can they have a accurate or valid opinion of me or what I experienced? I don't expect them all to express sort of empathy and especially real sympathy for me. Likewise to those saying "sorry". I wouldn't expect them to truly feel sorrow that my loved one died, not like someone who knew me or my loved one would feel. They may feel "well it sucks for that person, but I can empathize with them and picture how I would feel in that situation, or maybe I went through something similar so maybe I'll comment saying how I would deal with it or how I dealt with it". This is the response I would be expecting if I was OP. Merely posting helps get feelings off your chest and replies can help you realize it's not the end of your world and this too shall pass. Someone responding with "pics or it didnt happen lulz" is obviously not seriously what a person is thinking, they are just saying that because they are trying to find humor in the situation or feel too awkward to express their feelings and sympathy. Quite honestly I have posted on many forums when things have happened to me that leave me depressed or hopeless, and I have received responses like that one, but I didn't feel hurt by them. I honestly didn't feel anything negative and I sometimes actually did feel some positives, as the joke responses similar to the ones the banned user made relieved me somewhat, as I did not take it personally since I did not know the person and would not expect them to truly feel hurt because of what I was going through, and the core of their humor is in their insensitivity, that's what makes the post humorous. The humor is there because in situations like this typical members of society are expected to express sympathy they didn't mean it, only because it's a societal expectation, similar to how it was a societal expectation of whites to think less of blacks in the past. The responses are humorous usually because they are so insensitive and are not would one would expect a polite conformer of society to respond. They defy societal norms, which can be humorous. If someone responds "lol you should have told your loved one who informed you pics or it dint happen lulz" how could I be personally offended? They obviously are not serious, because we both know saying something like that doesn't make any sense and isn't a serious response. It can also be relieving, as it has been for me, as the humor sometimes shows that they understand the feeling and responding that way lets me feel that they relate that it's a depressing time, as well as making me realize that things can get better and the situation I'm in isn't the end of the world. It also can show that they may actually feel sympathy and their responding in an obviously humorous and not serious display of insensitivity shows that may understand the situation and decide to be humorous by responding in a way that is opposite of how they actually feel or what is expected, and this is where the humor lies. If they really felt like the OP should have asked his family member for "pics or it didn't happen" it wouldn't be funny because there would be some sense and truth to it. But there isn't any sense or truth to a response like that. People usually feel some kind of empathy to what another is experiencing, but getting genuine sympathy from someone is rare unless they are a loved one and close friend. The beauty of the anonymity of the internet is people usually respond with their honest opinions. The humor can show understanding the situation but relief from the fake and exaggerated sympathy that one can receive from others who actually know them, which usually makes them feel worse knowing that people are just conforming to societal norms and not expressing their real emotions. In conclusion to this tl;dr response, if the posters really felt that way it would not be funny. If they called me weak and worthless in a serious tone for feeling emotional, that has the possibility of offending. But serious responses like that are very different from this one, nevertheless I probably wouldn't be bothered as this is the internet and we are all anonymous and the people don't know me.
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