I never thought I would make one of these topics but I'm sort of desperate...

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LikeHaterade

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#1 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts
I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. She loves me very very much and I used to feel the same. It's just, my love for her is starting to fade and I know she will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. I called her and told her the way that I feel and she is taking it very very hard saying things like "I can't live without you" or "I'm dead inside." It may be possible for me to regain my feelings for her but I don't know and the more I make her wait, the harder it is for both of us. I've never felt so terrible because she loves me so much and she's "never been through this much pain." I'm just trying to hold on to the hope that she will eventually move on and forget about me but she says that she will never. I assure you this isn't some puppy love. I'm also very worried about her health as well. Please give me some advice fellas.
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HardQuor

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#2 HardQuor
Member since 2007 • 1282 Posts

I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. She loves me very very much and I used to feel the same. It's just, my love for her is starting to fade and I know she will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. I called her and told her the way that I feel and she is taking it very very hard saying things like "I can't live without you" or "I'm dead inside." It may be possible for me to regain my feelings for her but I don't know and the more I make her wait, the harder it is for both of us. I've never felt so terrible because she loves me so much and she's "never been through this much pain." I'm just trying to hold on to the hope that she will eventually move on and forget about me but she says that she will never. I assure you this isn't some puppy love. I'm also very worried about her health as well. Please give me some advice fellas.LikeHaterade

She sounds too dependant, she needs emotional and possibly psychological help. I would tell her parents or maybe consult a school counselor.

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Assassinslay

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#3 Assassinslay
Member since 2007 • 1366 Posts

I knew this was gonna be a girl thread.

I would just leave her and give her time to heal

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Big_player

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#4 Big_player
Member since 2004 • 6187 Posts
Theres no point in dragging on a relationship that contains fake emotions, it'll just be more painful in the end. And yes she will eventually get over her feelings, tme will make sure of that.
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Setsa

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#5 Setsa
Member since 2005 • 8431 Posts

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. She loves me very very much and I used to feel the same. It's just, my love for her is starting to fade and I know she will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. I called her and told her the way that I feel and she is taking it very very hard saying things like "I can't live without you" or "I'm dead inside." It may be possible for me to regain my feelings for her but I don't know and the more I make her wait, the harder it is for both of us. I've never felt so terrible because she loves me so much and she's "never been through this much pain." I'm just trying to hold on to the hope that she will eventually move on and forget about me but she says that she will never. I assure you this isn't some puppy love. I'm also very worried about her health as well. Please give me some advice fellas.HardQuor

She sounds too dependant, she needs emotional and possibly psychological help. I would tell her parents or maybe consult a school counselor.

What he said. If she tends to be the type that may inflict bodily harm upon herself, it'd probably be best to get a psychiatric specialist involed. If you truly have no more feelings for her, probably one of the worst things you could do is drag it out and leave her in a state of indecision. If she tends to be fairly strong emotionally, aside from what she is saying now, it might be best ot make it final, unless of course you have self doubts.
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LJS9502_basic

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#6 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 180209 Posts
You have to end it. It's not going to get any better.
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LikeHaterade

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#7 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts
I can't tell you guys how much everyone's advice means to me. I just tried and tried to love her and she waited and I can't do it. I feel like I'm going to be punished for doing this. I've never felt so guilty before in my entire life. Thanks so much guys.
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ScarlettIvy

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#8 ScarlettIvy
Member since 2008 • 330 Posts

You need to stop dragging things out and split up, as at the moment your just giving her false hope that things can change and that the relationship will last. So, sit her down and tell her its over and if you think she might be in trouble, then mention that you've broken up to her parents/friends and say she's taking it badly and let them take care of her. If you stick around to help her then it will just be helping to ease your conscience and will only make her think that you must still be in love with her to hang around.

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HardQuor

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#9 HardQuor
Member since 2007 • 1282 Posts

I can't tell you guys how much everyone's advice means to me. I just tried and tried to love her and she waited and I can't do it. I feel like I'm going to be punished for doing this. I've never felt so guilty before in my entire life. Thanks so much guys.LikeHaterade

Young romances are always hard, but it builds character. Trust me, this is something you both should be going through, it's a necessary experience.

---edit---

just for clarity, i'm saying you should break up. I wouldn't want you to misconstrue my post to mean that you shouldnt.

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NearTheEnd

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#10 NearTheEnd
Member since 2002 • 12184 Posts

Make her hate you. Tell her you knocked up some other chick. Tell her you would rather kiss your mom. Whatever it takes.

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-Fragma-

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#11 -Fragma-
Member since 2008 • 25 Posts
the more you let her hang on to you, the harder its going to be on the both of you..
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RushMetallica

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#12 RushMetallica
Member since 2007 • 4501 Posts
Cut and run, before she becomes crazy and sends you your missing dogs head in the mail.
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HardQuor

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#13 HardQuor
Member since 2007 • 1282 Posts

Make her hate you. Tell her you knocked up some other chick. Tell her you would rather kiss your mom. Whatever it takes.

NearTheEnd

I wouldn't go that far. That could make her feel like all men in the future will betray her. Don't want to be the cause for what could be her future trust issues. Just be honest and sensitive.

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Laughing_God

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#14 Laughing_God
Member since 2008 • 473 Posts
are you an 100% sure you want to leave her? sure you will find another girl but it's not easy finding someone that really loves you. at least with her you know she won't cheat on you or uses you for money.
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Thevenin167

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#15 Thevenin167
Member since 2008 • 768 Posts
It you rip the bandaid off it will be less painful in the end
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CreasianDevaili

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#16 CreasianDevaili
Member since 2005 • 4429 Posts

I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. She loves me very very much and I used to feel the same. It's just, my love for her is starting to fade and I know she will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. I called her and told her the way that I feel and she is taking it very very hard saying things like "I can't live without you" or "I'm dead inside." It may be possible for me to regain my feelings for her but I don't know and the more I make her wait, the harder it is for both of us. I've never felt so terrible because she loves me so much and she's "never been through this much pain." I'm just trying to hold on to the hope that she will eventually move on and forget about me but she says that she will never. I assure you this isn't some puppy love. I'm also very worried about her health as well. Please give me some advice fellas.LikeHaterade

You just got to be the man she really needs, not wants. I mean this by you standing up and being a friend but making sure she knows that it is over. Your going to feel guilty. She will make sure you will even if she dosent mean it. However like you said the longer you drag it out the harder it will be for the both of you.

You just cant approach her parents or her friends outright. You need to know which ones will be the ones who can be there for her and watch out for her but not make it even worse. That may just be the dad, or the mom, both, or just one of her friends. However YOU cant do it. The best kind of friend you can be right now for her when your leaving her in her eyes is to setup the chains of support around her.

That and when/if she gets over it, and gets better, make sure your able to be honest with her and give her some closure. There is always something that caused you to feel this way. If you havent told her truely yet, in fears of causing her more pain, then let her approach you later on.

Dont lie to her and make you hate her. All that does is seed something deep down in her. Because all the time you've been together will be shattered and turned into a huge farce. Which means she will have trouble trusting anyone else down the road. Get what I mean?

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LikeHaterade

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#17 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

She just told her mom and now she's crying. She told me that she was looking at the medicine cabinet. I made her promise me she won't do anything to hurt herself but I just don't know. Is all of this my fault? I told her awhile back that I didn't love her but I told her that I would try and I just couldn't do it and she asked me if I loved her or if I ever would love her tonight and I had to answer honestly.Should I call her dad and tell him what's going on and to try and help her? What if I'm making a mistake by leaving her if it was still possible for me to love her? Thanks again for the advice guys. It means a lot.

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stereointegrity

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#18 stereointegrity
Member since 2007 • 12151 Posts
haha why does everyone bring there girl problems to OT
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LikeHaterade

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#19 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. She loves me very very much and I used to feel the same. It's just, my love for her is starting to fade and I know she will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work. I called her and told her the way that I feel and she is taking it very very hard saying things like "I can't live without you" or "I'm dead inside." It may be possible for me to regain my feelings for her but I don't know and the more I make her wait, the harder it is for both of us. I've never felt so terrible because she loves me so much and she's "never been through this much pain." I'm just trying to hold on to the hope that she will eventually move on and forget about me but she says that she will never. I assure you this isn't some puppy love. I'm also very worried about her health as well. Please give me some advice fellas.CreasianDevaili

You just got to be the man she really needs, not wants. I mean this by you standing up and being a friend but making sure she knows that it is over. Your going to feel guilty. She will make sure you will even if she dosent mean it. However like you said the longer you drag it out the harder it will be for the both of you.

You just cant approach her parents or her friends outright. You need to know which ones will be the ones who can be there for her and watch out for her but not make it even worse. That may just be the dad, or the mom, both, or just one of her friends. However YOU cant do it. The best kind of friend you can be right now for her when your leaving her in her eyes is to setup the chains of support around her.

That and when/if she gets over it, and gets better, make sure your able to be honest with her and give her some closure. There is always something that caused you to feel this way. If you havent told her truely yet, in fears of causing her more pain, then let her approach you later on.

Dont lie to her and make you hate her. All that does is seed something deep down in her. Because all the time you've been together will be shattered and turned into a huge farce. Which means she will have trouble trusting anyone else down the road. Get what I mean?

Yea I know exactly what you mean. I'm scared that her mom might make it worse. Thank you.

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-TheSecondSign-

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#20 -TheSecondSign-
Member since 2007 • 9303 Posts

She's acting emo so she can continue to suck out what's left of your already halfconsumed soul.

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OrianaDorta

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#21 OrianaDorta
Member since 2005 • 3114 Posts
9 months and she already loves you that hard?? wow, you gotta be the greatest man in the world.:S
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LikeHaterade

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#22 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

9 months and she already loves you that hard?? wow, you gotta be the greatest man in the world.:SOrianaDorta

Lol not really. But thanks though :)

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CreasianDevaili

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#23 CreasianDevaili
Member since 2005 • 4429 Posts

She just told her mom and now she's crying. She told me that she was looking at the medicine cabinet. I made her promise me she won't do anything to hurt herself but I just don't know. Is all of this my fault? I told her awhile back that I didn't love her but I told her that I would try and I just couldn't do it and she asked me if I loved her or if I ever would love her tonight and I had to answer honestly.Should I call her dad and tell him what's going on and to try and help her? What if I'm making a mistake by leaving her if it was still possible for me to love her? Thanks again for the advice guys. It means a lot.

LikeHaterade

You dont love her. You just dont want to hurt her. You feel guilty and feel that she deserves more and are about to consider if her loving you is enough love for both of you. Well it isnt in the scheme of things.

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ElectronicMagic

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#24 ElectronicMagic
Member since 2005 • 5412 Posts
Well, sooner or later she is going to find someone she wants to be with, when that happens I am sure your feelings for her will change.
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gunswordfist

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#25 gunswordfist
Member since 2006 • 20262 Posts

You need to stop dragging things out and split up, as at the moment your just giving her false hope that things can change and that the relationship will last. So, sit her down and tell her its over and if you think she might be in trouble, then mention that you've broken up to her parents/friends and say she's taking it badly and let them take care of her. If you stick around to help her then it will just be helping to ease your conscience and will only make her think that you must still be in love with her to hang around.

ScarlettIvy
This is the most perfect advice I've ever seen...
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N8A

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#26 N8A
Member since 2007 • 18602 Posts
dont be a jerk. be there if she needs you. dont lead her on or give her false hope.
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thegfl

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#27 thegfl
Member since 2008 • 264 Posts
Thief is one of the best games ever.
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LikeHaterade

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#28 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

Thief is one of the best games ever.thegfl

Good man

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North-North

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#29 North-North
Member since 2008 • 895 Posts
I have dated this girl for about 9 months now. LikeHaterade
Uh oh. Very soon you will have a new human being to worry about.
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CJL182

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#30 CJL182
Member since 2003 • 9233 Posts
She won't want it to end, but if you no longer care about her the way you once did, then it's not fair either to you or her.
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-kaz3-

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#32 -kaz3-
Member since 2006 • 7372 Posts
I was actually in the same boat as you a few month ago. I decided to just end it, and try to salvage the friendship we had prior to the relationship. I suggest you end it, but don't be too abrupt with it and stuff. We're still friends. We talk occasionally.
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hokies1313

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#33 hokies1313
Member since 2005 • 13919 Posts

Just sit her down, face to face, and tell her how you feel. Explain to her, calmly and rationally, why it is for the best.

Tell her you understand how she feels but that you feel that it would better for the both of you if you both moved on.

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darkIink

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#34 darkIink
Member since 2006 • 2705 Posts

She just told her mom and now she's crying. She told me that she was looking at the medicine cabinet. I made her promise me she won't do anything to hurt herself but I just don't know. Is all of this my fault? I told her awhile back that I didn't love her but I told her that I would try and I just couldn't do it and she asked me if I loved her or if I ever would love her tonight and I had to answer honestly.Should I call her dad and tell him what's going on and to try and help her? What if I'm making a mistake by leaving her if it was still possible for me to love her? Thanks again for the advice guys. It means a lot.

LikeHaterade
yes. if you think she can hurt herself, you should let her parents know. parents are great for helping you through rough times. It will make you seem like a good guy too :)
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JetB1ackNewYear

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#35 JetB1ackNewYear
Member since 2007 • 2931 Posts

I can't tell you guys how much everyone's advice means to me. I just tried and tried to love her and she waited and I can't do it. I feel like I'm going to be punished for doing this. I've never felt so guilty before in my entire life. Thanks so much guys.LikeHaterade

well if your feeling guilty or sad about breaking up with her think about it maybe you do love her and your not relizing it.

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JustPlainLucas

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#36 JustPlainLucas
Member since 2002 • 80441 Posts

Knew this was gonna be a girl thread.

Anyway, if you are feeling something's wrong, you're doing a disservice to her by holding on. Maybe it's as simple as just needing a break; some space from each other, or maybe it just isn't meant to be. But most assuredly, you cannot stick around her just because you feel sorry about telling her how you really feel. That will only complicate matters. If you feel concerned about her health, you need to be there for her as a friend and ensure she gets some help so she doesn't do anything drastic like stop eating or commit suicide or something like that.

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LikeHaterade

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#37 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

Knew this was gonna be a girl thread.

Anyway, if you are feeling something's wrong, you're doing a disservice to her by holding on. Maybe it's as simple as just needing a break; some space from each other, or maybe it just isn't meant to be. But most assuredly, you cannot stick around her just because you feel sorry about telling her how you really feel. That will only complicate matters. If you feel concerned about her health, you need to be there for her as a friend and ensure she gets some help so she doesn't do anything drastic like stop eating or commit suicide or something like that.

JustPlainLucas

Thanks a lot for the advice. She told me that I'm either her boyfriend, or won't be apart of her life at all because she can't see me as a friend. So I'm going to try and talk to her parents so they can help her and keep an eye on her. Hopefully her parents will talk to me.

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#38 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts

Thanks a lot for the advice. She told me that I'm either her boyfriend, or won't be apart of her life at all because she can't see me as a friend. So I'm going to try and talk to her parents so they can help her and keep an eye on her. Hopefully her parents will talk to me.

LikeHaterade
I expected something like that.
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Vfanek

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#39 Vfanek
Member since 2006 • 7719 Posts

Dump her. She's not your problem.

Oh and, I've been there.

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Mercury88

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#40 Mercury88
Member since 2005 • 5674 Posts
As pretty much everyone has said, splitting up with her is the best option for you both. time is too short to be spent lying to yourself and too others. It's probably for the best that you don't stay an active part of your life, at least not right now anyway. you will both need time to think and re-asses.
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shyskillz

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#41 shyskillz
Member since 2006 • 4197 Posts

time will heal everything.

she has to be considerate of your feelings too, it isn't right to force feelings onto someone. continue to be friends ( if she can handle it ) and take it day by day. i'm assuming you're a teen or are in your early 20's, this is normal for young couples. we / they do not know what we really want yet yet so feelings can be confusing. just tell her you are not sure what you want in life yet and need to take it slow, good luck because this is not an easy thing to deal with. you have to be real with her and most importantly yourself.

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LikeHaterade

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#42 LikeHaterade
Member since 2007 • 10645 Posts

time will heal everything.

she has to be considerate of your feelings too, it isn't right to force feelings onto someone. continue to be friends ( if she can handle it ) and take it day by day. i'm assuming you're a teen or are in your early 20's, this is normal for young couples. we / they do not know what we really want yet yet so feelings can be confusing. just tell her you are not sure what you want in life yet and need to take it slow, good luck because this is not an easy thing to deal with. you have to be real with her and most importantly yourself.

shyskillz

Thanks skillz. It's difficult to be real with her and myself at the same time because I don't want to hurt her. But as many as you guys have said, it needs to be done. It's just really hard to deal with all this guilt. She told me that she hated me and I wish that it was true. It would make it a lot easier. Thanks again.